Need Help with Parents - :D

[homeofmew]

Hello I am a 25 year old in College, last year BS in Mathematics.
I switched my major from Comp Sci to Mathematics because I was better at math. I could have been done by now, however there was an incident one semester where the entire class basically cheated on a test. No one ever found out, however I didn't cheat on the Final therefore didn't pass the class. If I did cheat I would be graduating as of this semester.

(this class only comes around every other year)

However my Dad keeps yelling at me that I'm a tramp who will never finish school. He complains about the way I dress. Now before I go on any further I need to say this, I do not dress provocatively at all. i perferr t shirt and pants over anything else. I'm the "gamer girl" type xD. He tells his friends that if he gave me $1000 for shopping I wouldn't use it for cloths but for school tuition, and his friends won't believe him. XD

I recently Lost my job in December, Lost my Grandfather, and a friend committed suicide all in a very short time with in each other, including a current situation with a friend/online community I go to.

My parents are blaming me for having bad friends or bad influences, the problem is - none of these incidences have nothing to do with each other.

I also have problems with self esteem and some depression i guess due to current instances and past instances which effected my mental growth. Anyway most of these I have gotten over - honestly it's more of the current situations bothering me.

I am desperately trying to find a job and to do well in school - but All I get is situation after situation.

My parents also accuse me of not appreciating them - but yell at me because I do not communicate. to them. I am adopted for one, and I am well aware they have given me everything I ever physically need. I honestly am afraid to ask for more help because I feel so in debited to them.

I am trying my best not to let the upsetting circumstances affect my normal life but they are. I am so immobilized and emotionless now it scares me. I do not even like Pokémon anymore - and for that online community I am not sure I can ever go back now. I am not sure.

 

[Zamana]

The best advice I can give is to talk to your parents first about your true feelings about them. When your parents can better understand your feelings they will be able to help/approach you in a much more effective positive way.

 

[rainy]

Hello homeofmew,
First thing Congradulations on getting your BS!
Also you have good morals or you would have followed your classmates. So your parents did a good job there. You sound like you have it pretty much together as far as school goes. You apparently had alot going on during the time you missed passing in one class. The class does come around look at this way. You will be prepared next time it does. So you know I have a daughter your age I would say the same to her. It's okay to mess up once in a while on classes. They are expensive but you are worth more.

About your dad's yelling thing maybe he is scared but there is no reason for him to call you that. Suggestion, talk to him infront of your mom. Have them do a shopping day with you for cloths if that would put there mind at ease. Have family time with them maybe that is what they need from you. Tell them how you feel let them know what you are going thru. Explain words do hurt. You are trying to succeed in school you are sorry you failed a class it was unintentual and it happens. You are putting your best foot forward.

Can I ask have you asked about your birth family? My step sister was adopted and she had gone through a bad time when she searched for her birth parents. The dad took it the hardest.He took it as being personal that he did not do enough. I am just wondering. It is natural to be courious about your birth family.

Hope this helps in some way.
if you need to talk am here.

 

[DeaneRenata]

Hello I am a 25 year old in College, last year BS in Mathematics.
I switched my major from Comp Sci to Mathematics because I was better at math. I could have been done by now, however there was an incident one semester where the entire class basically cheated on a test. No one ever found out, however I didn't cheat on the Final therefore didn't pass the class. If I did cheat I would be graduating as of this semester.

(this class only comes around every other year)

However my Dad keeps yelling at me that I'm a tramp who will never finish school. He complains about the way I dress. Now before I go on any further I need to say this, I do not dress provocatively at all. i perferr t shirt and pants over anything else. I'm the "gamer girl" type xD. He tells his friends that if he gave me $1000 for shopping I wouldn't use it for cloths but for school tuition, and his friends won't believe him. XD

I recently Lost my job in December, Lost my Grandfather, and a friend committed suicide all in a very short time with in each other, including a current situation with a friend/online community I go to.

My parents are blaming me for having bad friends or bad influences, the problem is - none of these incidences have nothing to do with each other.

I also have problems with self esteem and some depression i guess due to current instances and past instances which effected my mental growth. Anyway most of these I have gotten over - honestly it's more of the current situations bothering me.

I am desperately trying to find a job and to do well in school - but All I get is situation after situation.

My parents also accuse me of not appreciating them - but yell at me because I do not communicate. to them. I am adopted for one, and I am well aware they have given me everything I ever physically need. I honestly am afraid to ask for more help because I feel so in debited to them.

I am trying my best not to let the upsetting circumstances affect my normal life but they are. I am so immobilized and emotionless now it scares me. I do not even like Pokémon anymore - and for that online community I am not sure I can ever go back now. I am not sure.

Here is how I think about things. I am a person just like anyone else. And I am a girl. My biological parents yells at me too. I just ignore it. If other people come up to me and try to get me to do something I do not want or they prevent me form living my dreams I usually ignore them or go away. The thing is I don't like discipline just like anyone else. I like to have fun just like anyone else probably why I know about Ryan Sheckler, watched him on YouTube.

Would you like me to for you?

 

[homeofmew]

update: Im redoing the class this semester, parents still nag me about the job thing.
It got better after my dad tried to prove me wrong and applied for a few jobs himself and even HE didn't get any interviews.

Everything hasn't gotten 100% better but it seems to have gotten A LOT better, Im now a moderator of a different community which It seems the owner and his Admins seems to like me.

I also still am pokemoning around as normal.

- homeofmew