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[Godspurpose07]

I have a question that I cannot seem to find an answer for. Someone told me of something bad someone really close to me is doing at church. That someone has already confronted the other person and she said she will no longer do it. My question is, will God punish me for knowing this secret and not telling anyone? I feel like if I say something I'm betraying this person I'm really close to and if I stay quiet I'm betraying God. Will he forgive me for keeping quiet?

 

[Ken Behrens]

In most cases, you need to keep your mouth shut. It turns to gossip really easy, and can be perceived as meddling. There are a few cases where the thing could endanger a life (such as active abuse, or getting ready to kill) and you must call the authorities. There is a case where you must pray, and do whatever God tells you, and that is when it is someone close to you, and you may be able to turn them from sin by talking to them (not to so-and-so). That last one is a judgment call, and needs to be prayed through every time, as to whether you may be successful or be considered a troublemaker.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I have a question that I cannot seem to find an answer for. Someone told me of something bad someone really close to me is doing at church. That someone has already confronted the other person and she said she will no longer do it. My question is, will God punish me for knowing this secret and not telling anyone? I feel like if I say something I'm betraying this person I'm really close to and if I stay quiet I'm betraying God. Will he forgive me for keeping quiet?

Hello Godspurpose, and welcome to CF.

Generally speaking, it is not God's will for us to broadcast anyone's sins. Who would you say something to? Unless it is somehow for the sake of the person's restoration, or necessary to protect someone from serious harm, you should never tell someone's sins. I wonder if you would rather not know yourself, and if telling you actually served any purpose to help that person? It's apparently caused you some distress.

Our only place is to pray for someone, unless we are in a position to help them. Otherwise there is nothing beneficial in knowing the sins of anyone else.

Again, welcome to CF. If you need any help finding your way around the forums, please let us know and we are glad to help.

 

[Sultan Of Swing]

I have a question that I cannot seem to find an answer for. Someone told me of something bad someone really close to me is doing at church. That someone has already confronted the other person and she said she will no longer do it. My question is, will God punish me for knowing this secret and not telling anyone? I feel like if I say something I'm betraying this person I'm really close to and if I stay quiet I'm betraying God. Will he forgive me for keeping quiet?

For what reason would you need to tell someone, and how would keeping quiet then be betraying God?

Does it affect someone else directly, or does it involve violence that can endanger people? Otherwise there is no need to broadcast issues other people are dealing with.

 

[dayhiker]

My thought is that it would be good to learn now to talk to this person about the conflict you feel. You don't have to be confrontational, just talk about the personal conflict your feeling inside. You want to make sure you understand the situation and how can this person help you with this conflict between what they are doing and what you feel God would have you do/say.

 

[Greg J.]

I agree with the general "be silent" advice given. It is a battle within yourself that must be dealt with.

However (if the person that spoke to you was person "A" and he was telling you about person "C") if there are circumstance that we don't know about such that it still remains unclear what to do, one option is to ask A to tell C that he told you. If C wants to discuss it with you, let that person bring it up. If C didn't know that A knew about this, then it's your and A's problem alone. Don't bring C into it. Don't discuss C with A anymore. If A is uncomfortable having this chat with C, then it is a sign that neither of you should say anything.

Keep in mind that everything you do should be for the best for the other person, and that you should do for them what you would want done for yourself. If the only real issue is a struggle within yourself, you need to work that out with God.

 

[masmpg]

I have a question that I cannot seem to find an answer for. Someone told me of something bad someone really close to me is doing at church. That someone has already confronted the other person and she said she will no longer do it. My question is, will God punish me for knowing this secret and not telling anyone? I feel like if I say something I'm betraying this person I'm really close to and if I stay quiet I'm betraying God. Will he forgive me for keeping quiet?

There is very strict teaching on this point. Matthew 18 tells us that we must go to that person first then if they do not listen take one or two more. It seems like this counsel was followed, but for you go tell someone else after all is said and done and the person has stopped it would be against what Jesus said. Gossip, tale bearing, backstabbing in all its forms is a no-no. If we have ought against any we are to go to that person ALONE, and not noise it abroad to anyone unless the counsel is not heeded. I have been living this problem for over 5 years. 5 years ago my daughter told my son something and he hasn't spoke to me since. I asked my daughter what she said and she would not tell me, I have tried to communicate with my son but he will not write, call, e mail, NADA. I told my daughter I do not want to associate with her any more because if she feels that talking behind my back is okay, which she admitted is the case, then I have no idea what she has said to those whom we have as mutual friends. Satan was the first back stabber. He convinced 1/3 of the angels to follow Him against the wishes of the God head. He spread rumors behind Jesus back in order to convince the angels.

 

[Godspurpose07]

I agree with the general "be silent" advice given. It is a battle within yourself that must be dealt with.

However (if the person that spoke to you was person "A" and he was telling you about person "C") if there are circumstance that we don't know about such that it still remains unclear what to do, one option is to ask A to tell C that he told you. If C wants to discuss it with you, let that person bring it up. If C didn't know that A knew about this, then it's your and A's problem alone. Don't bring C into it. Don't discuss C with A anymore. If A is uncomfortable having this chat with C, then it is a sign that neither of you should say anything.

Keep in mind that everything you do should be for the best for the other person, and that you should do for them what you would want done for yourself. If the only real issue is a struggle within yourself, you need to work that out with God.

Sorry for the late response. I've been busy with work. I guess I needed some piece of mind that I wasn't doing anything wrong before God. The person who was doing something bad in church is a family member and I would hate for what she did to be discovered because we are so close. The person who found out what she was doing talked to her and she promised she was going to stop what she was doing. I didn't know if it was my call to tell the pastor or to just keep quiet I know if the pastor found out she would probably be kicked out of church and I wouldn't want her to lose salvation for a mistake. Thanks for all the comments I feel a little better about my decision to keep to muself.

 

[WolfGate]

Assuming that what she was doing isn't something illegal that would legally/morally require reporting and involves safety of others (such as abuse), then I think you are OK with letting the path of her already being confronted and agreeing to change play out. Matthew 18 does seem to be working here.

 

[Greg J.]

The person who was doing something bad in church is a family member and I would hate for what she did to be discovered because we are so close.

If she is a blood relative, then the situation may be a little different than I have described, but keeping silent still works.

she would probably be kicked out of church and I wouldn't want her to lose salvation for a mistake

This is not how a person loses their salvation in a direct sense. (God is the judge, and it is God who saves.) However, examining this requires details about a person and their beliefs—and since this is a whole other topic (that includes some matters in Scripture that aren't clear) I'll leave it at that.

 

[masmpg]

Sorry for the late response. I've been busy with work. I guess I needed some piece of mind that I wasn't doing anything wrong before God. The person who was doing something bad in church is a family member and I would hate for what she did to be discovered because we are so close. The person who found out what she was doing talked to her and she promised she was going to stop what she was doing. I didn't know if it was my call to tell the pastor or to just keep quiet I know if the pastor found out she would probably be kicked out of church and I wouldn't want her to lose salvation for a mistake. Thanks for all the comments I feel a little better about my decision to keep to muself.

It is not your call to tell the pastor unless she openly keeps doing what she said she would not do. There is no gray areas in this matter. What did Jesus tell Peter when he asked Jesus in Matthew:18:21&22: "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." If she confessed her fault you are to forgive her. It is not your job to judge her motives for what she did. Jesus also said in Matthew:6:15: "But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." This is very serious. You must forgive her and leave it at that unless she continues to do what she was admonished about. If she continues then the person that confronted her should take two or three to the one in the offense. If she does not stop then you tell it to the church. This is what Jesus said in Matthew 18. Please take the biblical counsel over all of our admonitions, read Matthew 18 for yourself. That is the only sure way to handle this. The counsel is very certain. Let it go until you notice the offender continuing in her offense.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your children. I pray you get get it worked out and forgiveness can follow - it seems it has cost you two of your children.

God be with you.

There is very strict teaching on this point. Matthew 18 tells us that we must go to that person first then if they do not listen take one or two more. It seems like this counsel was followed, but for you go tell someone else after all is said and done and the person has stopped it would be against what Jesus said. Gossip, tale bearing, backstabbing in all its forms is a no-no. If we have ought against any we are to go to that person ALONE, and not noise it abroad to anyone unless the counsel is not heeded. I have been living this problem for over 5 years. 5 years ago my daughter told my son something and he hasn't spoke to me since. I asked my daughter what she said and she would not tell me, I have tried to communicate with my son but he will not write, call, e mail, NADA. I told my daughter I do not want to associate with her any more because if she feels that talking behind my back is okay, which she admitted is the case, then I have no idea what she has said to those whom we have as mutual friends. Satan was the first back stabber. He convinced 1/3 of the angels to follow Him against the wishes of the God head. He spread rumors behind Jesus back in order to convince the angels.

 

[Godspurpose07]

Thanks for the responses. I feel a lot better. I had been struggling with this for weeks it's really hard to make a decision when someone close to you is sinning against the church and I just needed to make sure that I wasn't also sinning against God for knowing this secret. I have been praying without stopping every night for forgiveness for my family memeber and for her heart to turn back to God. I want to thank everyone who has commented it has really been a blessing in these tough times.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Thanks for the responses. I feel a lot better. I had been struggling with this for weeks it's really hard to make a decision when someone close to you is sinning against the church and I just needed to make sure that I wasn't also sinning against God for knowing this secret. I have been praying without stopping every night for forgiveness for my family memeber and for her heart to turn back to God. I want to thank everyone who has commented it has really been a blessing in these tough times.

That is exactly our place, to pray for those who have sinned. Bear one another's burdens ...

This is what we should do. God be with you!

 

[Goodbook]

Just pray, if you need to talk to anyone talk to the person involved. If its affecting YOU and they wont listen, its ok to discuss with another christian and you both confront them, but pray first. Love covers a multitude of sins.

I know its tough to see family members ignoring God. If they have faith encourage them to renew their faith. They are accountable to God first for their actions, not the church, but if they still in church, sinning and causing trouble and leading others astray matthew 18 says you can tell the church.