Need help potty training 7 year old!

Mary@2

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Hello everyone I came here hoping people would be able to offer me some advice on getting my daughter potty trained she currently has to wear diapers 24/7 for both needs. I have tried potty training her when she was younger but we made no progress at all later on I decided to take her to a few doctors and therapists but they all told that both mentally and physically she was fine.
I just don't know what to do anymore and feel like I've run out of things to try any advice I could get would be amazing thank you.
 

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Hello everyone I came here hoping people would be able to offer me some advice on getting my daughter potty trained she currently has to wear diapers 24/7 for both needs. I have tried potty training her when she was younger but we made no progress at all later on I decided to take her to a few doctors and therapists but they all told that both mentally and physically she was fine.
I just don't know what to do anymore and feel like I've run out of things to try any advice I could get would be amazing thank you.
I would suggest you take her to a different pediatrician because no doctor worth their salt is going to tell you that a child of that age is willingly soiling herself unless there is something wrong and that could be that she is being abused or bullied, etc.
 
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Jeshu

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i can share you how we trained our five year old adopted down syndrome daughter to go to the toilet and that was that everyone else in the house, we have four children of our own, would take Sam to the toilet and show her what we did calling our business by name. It took us 18 months but we did achieve the desired result.

i think that when children are older but not intellectually handicapped then they have a trust bond with their nappy which only can be broken by taken the nappy away. At first only during the day but when the child learns to do their business on the toilet.

Perhaps a combination of showing her what the toilet is for, and what you require of her with regards to that, and removing her nappy so that she has to do her business without its protection will teach her the quickest what the toilet is for.

The very best training your child.

Peace.
 
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Mary@2

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I would suggest you take her to a different pediatrician because no doctor worth their salt is going to tell you that a child of that age is willingly soiling herself unless there is something wrong and that could be that she is being abused or bullied, etc.



I have already seen 3 different doctors all tell me they were not able to find anything wrong with her same goes with the therapists which is what leaves me confused as to what to do now
 
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Mary@2

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i can share you how we trained our five year old adopted down syndrome daughter to go to the toilet and that was that everyone else in the house, we have four children of our own, would take Sam to the toilet and show her what we did calling our business by name. It took us 18 months but we did achieve the desired result.

i think that when children are older but not intellectually handicapped then they have a trust bond with their nappy which only can be broken by taken the nappy away. At first only during the day but when the child learns to do their business on the toilet.

Perhaps a combination of showing her what the toilet is for, and what you require of her with regards to that, and removing her nappy so that she has to do her business without its protection will teach her the quickest what the toilet is for.

The very best training your child.

Peace.



I just worry about taking away her nappy because she can barely hold it and feel like she will probably be making messes everywhere which also might upset her
 
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Jeshu

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I just worry about taking away her nappy because she can barely hold it and feel like she will probably be making messes everywhere which also might upset her

Yes she will make a mess but that is what will teach her the need for a toilet, as it is the need for a toilet is not there for she has a nappy. Taking the nappy of her will make her see what happens when she doesn't go to the toilet. Usually a few incidents will teach her the lesson needed to learn.

With our daughter we were trained before her, so we knew when she was about to do it, putting her on the toilet prior to her soiling the house, did produce results in the end.
 
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coffee4u

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Hello everyone I came here hoping people would be able to offer me some advice on getting my daughter potty trained she currently has to wear diapers 24/7 for both needs. I have tried potty training her when she was younger but we made no progress at all later on I decided to take her to a few doctors and therapists but they all told that both mentally and physically she was fine.
I just don't know what to do anymore and feel like I've run out of things to try any advice I could get would be amazing thank you.

Something is wrong even if doctors can't find it since regular 7 years olds do not want to use a diaper. My son with ASD trained at 5 and I was told 5 is the upper limit of normal (I didn't know he had ASD at that point because he wasn't diagnosed until 6 1/2) ASD in girls can be hard to spot, a friends daughter wasn't diagnosed until 12 and she wet the bed until 10.

What I did was I told my son he would toilet train when he turned 5. Every day for the 6 months before his birthday when I changed him I told him that. I told him the day after his birthday that his nappies (diapers) would be donated to other younger children who needed them and that he would use the toilet. I didn't add in any options to that. He started to say back that he would train at 5. The day after his fifth birthday I put him in undies and took away the nappies. I left pull-ups because he needed those for bed at night for a little while.
We had a 2 pee accidents and one poop and that was it.

All children this age are capable of using the toilet (unless they have greater disabilities of course) so not using the toilet is mental rather than physical. If your daughter's issue was purely physical she would be upset at having to use a diaper.
My son never used a potty and wouldn't. He would scream anytime that we tried. We went from nappies to the toilet with one of those all in one contraptions. It had a seat, handles and steps. Feeling secure and in control in getting on and off helped a lot. I never figured out what his aversion to the potty was but who wants to clean a potty anyway?
He used that toilet seat combo for a LOT of years, way past when other kids would not. They are about $50 now but well worth it if you use it for many years.

So I would decide on a date and place a sticker on the calendar and make sure she is prepared for the day. take her shopping and pick out some pretty undies, perhaps some Disney princess ones. Your daughter is a bit old but I told my son "We don't want to poop on Bob!" (he was obsessed with Bob the Builder so those were the undies I bought.) I also used a sticker chart for awhile anytime he used the toilet and gave him little prizes for every 10 goes, then every 20 goes before phasing it out.

What does your daughter say about it? She is old enough to be able to articulate what is going on. If it is a fear, some children will clam up. In that case you might need to try some other things. Potty instead of toilet for awhile, not flushing until she has left, some absorbent paper over the open toilet or even an oval-shaped baking pan under the toilet seat lined with some toilet paper. The fear could be the openess and water below her. And like above I highly recommend the all in one seat, handles and steps.
 
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Mary@2

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Yes she will make a mess but that is what will teach her the need for a toilet, as it is the need for a toilet is not there for she has a nappy. Taking the nappy of her will make her see what happens when she doesn't go to the toilet. Usually a few incidents will teach her the lesson needed to learn.

With our daughter we were trained before her, so we knew when she was about to do it, putting her on the toilet prior to her soiling the house, did produce results in the end.


I just worry that without her diaper if that if she has an accident she might become discouraged about potty training I have tried going diaper less once before and that was a complete disaster I also worry about how I should go about taking her out and going to places like the store.
 
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Mary@2

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Something is wrong even if doctors can't find it since regular 7 years olds do not want to use a diaper. My son with ASD trained at 5 and I was told 5 is the upper limit of normal (I didn't know he had ASD at that point because he wasn't diagnosed until 6 1/2) ASD in girls can be hard to spot, a friends daughter wasn't diagnosed until 12 and she wet the bed until 10.

What I did was I told my son he would toilet train when he turned 5. Every day for the 6 months before his birthday when I changed him I told him that. I told him the day after his birthday that his nappies (diapers) would be donated to other younger children who needed them and that he would use the toilet. I didn't add in any options to that. He started to say back that he would train at 5. The day after his fifth birthday I put him in undies and took away the nappies. I left pull-ups because he needed those for bed at night for a little while.
We had a 2 pee accidents and one poop and that was it.

All children this age are capable of using the toilet (unless they have greater disabilities of course) so not using the toilet is mental rather than physical. If your daughter's issue was purely physical she would be upset at having to use a diaper.
My son never used a potty and wouldn't. He would scream anytime that we tried. We went from nappies to the toilet with one of those all in one contraptions. It had a seat, handles and steps. Feeling secure and in control in getting on and off helped a lot. I never figured out what his aversion to the potty was but who wants to clean a potty anyway?
He used that toilet seat combo for a LOT of years, way past when other kids would not. They are about $50 now but well worth it if you use it for many years.

So I would decide on a date and place a sticker on the calendar and make sure she is prepared for the day. take her shopping and pick out some pretty undies, perhaps some Disney princess ones. Your daughter is a bit old but I told my son "We don't want to poop on Bob!" (he was obsessed with Bob the Builder so those were the undies I bought.) I also used a sticker chart for awhile anytime he used the toilet and gave him little prizes for every 10 goes, then every 20 goes before phasing it out.

What does your daughter say about it? She is old enough to be able to articulate what is going on. If it is a fear, some children will clam up. In that case you might need to try some other things. Potty instead of toilet for awhile, not flushing until she has left, some absorbent paper over the open toilet or even an oval-shaped baking pan under the toilet seat lined with some toilet paper. The fear could be the openess and water below her. And like above I highly recommend the all in one seat, handles and steps.


So she understands that she shouldn't have to be still wearing a diaper and isn't happy about it either but she tells me she just doesn't really feel it. She said the most she feels is when it's starting to come out but at that point it's already to late.
 
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coffee4u

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So she understands that she shouldn't have to be still wearing a diaper and isn't happy about it either but she tells me she just doesn't really feel it. She said the most she feels is when it's starting to come out but at that point it's already to late.

Well that's not normal. https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/urinary-incontinence
I think she needs to see a specialist.
I would do Kegels with her as well, she is old enough to do those I should think. If she strengthens those muscles that should help.
Also try an alkaline diet. Acidic foods and I know milk, make the urge to pee greater.
 
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Mary@2

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I have taken her to a urologist and gastroenterologist who both found no medical issue that would be causing this so I don't think that that would be the issue. I might try to get her to start doing kegels that might be useful but the thing is that she is also having soiling accidents not just wetting accidents
 
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My son is 4 and pees just fine in the potty (and he loves his plastic frog urinal) but pooping is giving him trouble, which flummoxed me since I thought that was easier than the first. He's been on miralax for several weeks and the doctors arent too concerned, though I worry. We have to clean out his underwear at times seemingly every 10 minutes. He hasnt peed in his underwear in a long time, but dirties them often. He wears underwear during the day and a diaper at night, but we will probably switch to pull ups soon. I sometimes get really frustrated, but my wife has helped me realize that getting upset just makes it worse. He seems to do A LOT better when we are out and about for some reason. Rarely any accidents at all.
 
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coffee4u

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My son is 4 and pees just fine in the potty (and he loves his plastic frog urinal) but pooping is giving him trouble, which flummoxed me since I thought that was easier than the first. He's been on miralax for several weeks and the doctors arent too concerned, though I worry. We have to clean out his underwear at times seemingly every 10 minutes. He hasnt peed in his underwear in a long time, but dirties them often. He wears underwear during the day and a diaper at night, but we will probably switch to pull ups soon. I sometimes get really frustrated, but my wife has helped me realize that getting upset just makes it worse. He seems to do A LOT better when we are out and about for some reason. Rarely any accidents at all.

Constant small amounts is a sign of constipation, it leaks around the blockage. They mentioned the possibility of my son with ASD needing an operation but lots of fruit, water and Movicol did the trick. You will need longer than several weeks, more like 3-6 months.
Also part of it is the kids get scared to go and hold on making it worse. So it needs to be really soft to help them see it doesn't have to be so bad. Make sure he drinks lots of water as well. I would lightly flavour my son's with a small amount of cordial -not sure if the US has that though, its something you add to water so you can easily make it weak or strong tasting by how much you add.
 
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Joyous Song

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I don't know if my own situation is the same but our daughter was much older when she potty trained. It was because she is a perfectionist and decided she needed to learn to read first. Once she could read well enough to sit on the potty and read, she potty trained.

It was my mom that told me that kids can often grow tense if we ourselves are tense over them not developing according to our own time lines. This can become a viscous cycle. This happened with our son over reading. He grew so anxious that his sister and then younger brother read and he could not he simply gave up!

My mom told me just to read to him and we did and after a year we reintroduced reading using a different program and at eight, he finally read. So your problem could be either cause, your child isn't learning because he busy learning something else, or tension caused by an early delay has handicapped the process.
 
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