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Need guidance, wondering if I'm even saved or just a false convert lying to the Lord

IsaacRoyale

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Hi, I'm new to this place and I came looking for some guidance, and a place to vent out my grief , I am not affiliated with any denomination, I'm just a guy from new york who wants to know Jesus but I feel cold.. Please someone help me. I have been neck deep in a bad addiction of lust and sexual immorality of all types. And one night when I've seen multiple videos about Jesus coming soon, I've had enough and wanting to be free from this bondage and cried out to Jesus to save me, to help me and to guide me through a different direction, to be my Lord and Savior. This was in October of 2023. It's September of 2024 and it feels like I got nowhere at all. I'm still stuck doing the same stupid things over and over and over again. Repeatedly I've asked the Lord to renew my mind and heart, to cleanse my heart of this filth as well as other sins of pride and arrogance, of ego and laziness and slothfulness. But I feel falling to the same vices and temptations as if I didn't learn anything. My heart feels cold and I dont feel the Holy Spirit due to being such neck deep in porn addiction even when I constantly try to repent away but I keep falling. I keep failing and I keep grieving the Holy Spirit. Has the Lord left me to a reprobate mind. Am I hopeless....i hate myself and my sin. ..Jesus have mercy..i. feel like a false convert. A liar that sheds crocodile tears every week wondering when this will end and if the Lord even hears me anymore, I know I wouldn't with how many times I've said I wanted to stop this and will focus more on Him only to get lazy again, and again, and keep falling again, and again, and again..

I dont want to be seperated from Jesus but I am having such a hard time dropping and letting go of this porn addiction. As well as the guilt from my past when I did so many attrocious, disgusting things that'd get me locked up for that no one will forgive (mans perspective anyway), . I am so lost and I want to change...am I just a doomed liar..I really am scared and about to cry once again today from just the mere thoughts of hearing Depart from me, I never knew you, you worker of iniquity", that I was never His, that I was never in his flock and only meant to be burned because I couldn't surrender my whole heart to Him. I don't understand why I can't just obey, why I can't just follow Him and focus on Him. What does it really mean to have faith and believe in Him, to Trust him with my everything. Do I have to die to show it in the great tribulation, I don't know anything..I just wanna be with Jesus and I really am in such depression and grief over my own failures and iniquity that I wonder if I was ever truly saved to begin with, that I was just never His. Or maybe I was left to a reprobate mind that's stuck on sin and death. I don't know..I want to know..I want to be free in Christ and to follow Him and be with Him forever, to be born again and into God's family forever. I don't wanna lose salvation, if that's even possible, I want Him. Please, what do I do..
 

Pop D.

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Remember your salvation is based on Christ's worthiness, not yours. We could never be worthy.

It is important to resist sin though. Lust gets easier to resist with age. It helps to avoid things which you know will tempt you. Learn to dwell in His Holy Spirit for strength.
 
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Unqualified

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Seek professional help. You can’t feed your flesh and hope to be spiritual. It’s an addiction like drugs. Check out sex and love addicts anonymous in your area. I would, I really would. And it sounds like it goes deeper than that. But that’s a start. You’re half sincere and half sinning. Start reading your Bible. You need to be locked up with your Bible and nothing else and see what happens. In all my born days I’ve never seen anything like it. You can’t stop? Like so many others. You need help.
 
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I would encourage you to reach out to a mature Christian man at your church. It sounds like you need some good discipleship. There are many men who have been where you are and experienced the freedom and victory that a relationship with Christ will bring.

Rest assured that nothing can separate you from the love of God. if any Christian could lose their salvation, every one of us would.

Remember that Jesus has imputed his righteousness unto you. He saved you so that you could enjoy a relationship with Him. It is by investing in that relationship with God through prayer and reading his word that He will begin to work out all of sins that ensnare you.

I am praying for you brother!
 
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tturt

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God will help us renew our minds. The Holy Soirit guides us to truth (John 16:13). Our part is to take every thought captive -"casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ," (II Cor 10:5).

That means when we have thoughts that are not in line with Scripture, we immediately focus on Scripture, the truth, such as "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." (Rom 10:9) as well as Rom10:10, 13; Eph 2:8-9; John 3:16. Encourage you to locate some favorite Scriptures and say them when needed.. Repeat this process as neccessary.

It will be difficult then it will get easier and easier. Glad you realize God is the answer.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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Hi, I'm new to this place and I came looking for some guidance, and a place to vent out my grief , I am not affiliated with any denomination, I'm just a guy from new york who wants to know Jesus but I feel cold.. Please someone help me. I have been neck deep in a bad addiction of lust and sexual immorality of all types. And one night when I've seen multiple videos about Jesus coming soon, I've had enough and wanting to be free from this bondage and cried out to Jesus to save me, to help me and to guide me through a different direction, to be my Lord and Savior. This was in October of 2023. It's September of 2024 and it feels like I got nowhere at all. I'm still stuck doing the same stupid things over and over and over again. Repeatedly I've asked the Lord to renew my mind and heart, to cleanse my heart of this filth as well as other sins of pride and arrogance, of ego and laziness and slothfulness. But I feel falling to the same vices and temptations as if I didn't learn anything. My heart feels cold and I dont feel the Holy Spirit due to being such neck deep in porn addiction even when I constantly try to repent away but I keep falling. I keep failing and I keep grieving the Holy Spirit. Has the Lord left me to a reprobate mind. Am I hopeless....i hate myself and my sin. ..Jesus have mercy..i. feel like a false convert. A liar that sheds crocodile tears every week wondering when this will end and if the Lord even hears me anymore, I know I wouldn't with how many times I've said I wanted to stop this and will focus more on Him only to get lazy again, and again, and keep falling again, and again, and again..

I dont want to be seperated from Jesus but I am having such a hard time dropping and letting go of this porn addiction. As well as the guilt from my past when I did so many attrocious, disgusting things that'd get me locked up for that no one will forgive (mans perspective anyway), . I am so lost and I want to change...am I just a doomed liar..I really am scared and about to cry once again today from just the mere thoughts of hearing Depart from me, I never knew you, you worker of iniquity", that I was never His, that I was never in his flock and only meant to be burned because I couldn't surrender my whole heart to Him. I don't understand why I can't just obey, why I can't just follow Him and focus on Him. What does it really mean to have faith and believe in Him, to Trust him with my everything. Do I have to die to show it in the great tribulation, I don't know anything..I just wanna be with Jesus and I really am in such depression and grief over my own failures and iniquity that I wonder if I was ever truly saved to begin with, that I was just never His. Or maybe I was left to a reprobate mind that's stuck on sin and death. I don't know..I want to know..I want to be free in Christ and to follow Him and be with Him forever, to be born again and into God's family forever. I don't wanna lose salvation, if that's even possible, I want Him. Please, what do I do..
Do you Agape Love Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

Agape:
selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love that is given without expecting anything in return.

Blessings
 
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Fearful

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Do you Agape Love Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

Agape:
selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love that is given without expecting anything in return.

Blessings
If you don’t, how do you bring that about? What do you specifically mean “without expecting anything—salvation?
 
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Hazelelponi

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If you don’t, how do you bring that about? What do you specifically mean “without expecting anything—salvation?

I don't think you can love what you don't know.

I would learn more about the faith, the Gospel, Christ. Seek first the Kingdom of God, and the rest will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Paul Washer and Voddie Baucham are both excellent excellent pastors you can find on YouTube, also check out Grace Family Baptist Church on YouTube...

Just start reading Scripture on your own, listening to pastors and go to a church, and praying for God to strengthen you for the battle and guide you into all Truth.

 
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SavedByGrace3

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Do not rely on yourself in any area or degree. Rely on the scripture. Period.

1 Corinthians 15:1-5 KJV
1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:

I declare unto you the gospel... by which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;... he was buried, and he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:


Do you keep this in memory? He died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead?

Stop overthinking it. Just be aware of it. It is already true, and there is nothing you have to do to make it more true.
Keep it in memory.

Nothing has to do with you, any decision you make, or any actions you may have made. It was what HE did, not you.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 KJV
18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

It is not difficult. Just KNOW these things are true:
* God...hath reconciled us (you) to himself by Jesus Christ
* God was in Christ, reconciling the world (you) unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them


You have been reconciled to God - Period!
God is not imputing your trespasses to you - Period!
He did these things... not you. You are merely the recipient. The reconciled. The redeemed. There is nothing you can do to make these things not true or more true. It is finished.


1 John 2:1-2 KJV
1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:
2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

Your sins have been dealt with. They no longer have any substance. Period! He did this, not you.

John 1:29 KJV
29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

Your sins are gone. He took them away. Period. He did this, not you.
These things are not dependent on you or anything you do. They were true before you were born; they are true now, and they will be true into eternity. You do not have to do anything. Also, there is nothing you can do to make them false.
Do you know these things? Do you remember them? So let it be. Resolve that they are true and settle it in your mind. They are already settled in heaven. God's word it true, so stop worrying about it.
 
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AlexB23

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Hi, I'm new to this place and I came looking for some guidance, and a place to vent out my grief , I am not affiliated with any denomination, I'm just a guy from new york who wants to know Jesus but I feel cold.. Please someone help me. I have been neck deep in a bad addiction of lust and sexual immorality of all types. And one night when I've seen multiple videos about Jesus coming soon, I've had enough and wanting to be free from this bondage and cried out to Jesus to save me, to help me and to guide me through a different direction, to be my Lord and Savior. This was in October of 2023. It's September of 2024 and it feels like I got nowhere at all. I'm still stuck doing the same stupid things over and over and over again. Repeatedly I've asked the Lord to renew my mind and heart, to cleanse my heart of this filth as well as other sins of pride and arrogance, of ego and laziness and slothfulness. But I feel falling to the same vices and temptations as if I didn't learn anything. My heart feels cold and I dont feel the Holy Spirit due to being such neck deep in porn addiction even when I constantly try to repent away but I keep falling. I keep failing and I keep grieving the Holy Spirit. Has the Lord left me to a reprobate mind. Am I hopeless....i hate myself and my sin. ..Jesus have mercy..i. feel like a false convert. A liar that sheds crocodile tears every week wondering when this will end and if the Lord even hears me anymore, I know I wouldn't with how many times I've said I wanted to stop this and will focus more on Him only to get lazy again, and again, and keep falling again, and again, and again..

I dont want to be seperated from Jesus but I am having such a hard time dropping and letting go of this porn addiction. As well as the guilt from my past when I did so many attrocious, disgusting things that'd get me locked up for that no one will forgive (mans perspective anyway), . I am so lost and I want to change...am I just a doomed liar..I really am scared and about to cry once again today from just the mere thoughts of hearing Depart from me, I never knew you, you worker of iniquity", that I was never His, that I was never in his flock and only meant to be burned because I couldn't surrender my whole heart to Him. I don't understand why I can't just obey, why I can't just follow Him and focus on Him. What does it really mean to have faith and believe in Him, to Trust him with my everything. Do I have to die to show it in the great tribulation, I don't know anything..I just wanna be with Jesus and I really am in such depression and grief over my own failures and iniquity that I wonder if I was ever truly saved to begin with, that I was just never His. Or maybe I was left to a reprobate mind that's stuck on sin and death. I don't know..I want to know..I want to be free in Christ and to follow Him and be with Him forever, to be born again and into God's family forever. I don't wanna lose salvation, if that's even possible, I want Him. Please, what do I do..
First off, you are saved, cos you feel bad about your actions, and you have sorrow (spiritual conviction/contrition). If you were not saved, you would not feel any sorrow, you would not have posted anything about your guilty conscience, and you would not care to try stopping your sins. By the grace of God, you do care for stopping your sins.

Isaiah 6:5 and Isaiah 66:2 discuss contrition (a feeling of conviction), when one's conscience is crushed by the gravity of his own guilt. Luke 18:10-14 discusses this in further detail, about a tax collector who had a guilty conscience who beat his own chest basically saying "God be merciful to me, [for I am] a sinner".

My life anecdote: For myself, habitual sins can be a struggle. For instance, beating my banana is my vice. While I have always stayed away from inappropriate visual content, the feeling of jerking off can be very addicting. However, I pray almost every night about this, and try my best not to. Another struggle for me is being quick to judge, and has been since middle school or so. Sometimes, my thinking can be in black and white, without viewing both sides of the argument.

Source:

If you want, I can plug in your original post into an artificial intelligence program on my laptop that is connected to Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox theology documents (run completely offline, so no risk of privacy breach). It will probably give a better answer than me, as I am not a theologian.
 
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Unqualified

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I don't think you can love what you don't know.

I would learn more about the faith, the Gospel, Christ. Seek first the Kingdom of God, and the rest will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Paul Washer and Voddie Baucham are both excellent excellent pastors you can find on YouTube, also check out Grace Family Baptist Church on YouTube...

Just start reading Scripture on your own, listening to pastors and go to a church, and praying for God to strengthen you for the battle and guide you into all Truth.


Don’t go to a church until you get your predatory behavior under control. You need professional help and the Lord to guide you through it.
 
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Richard T

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First off, this is not an excuse but to show you that you are not alone here are some numbers on porn.
So, it is a far bigger problem than just yours, and yes, as most list it as the number one problem, including some pastors that actually watch porn. So can you go to church? Yes, because you need spiritual help. Quit with all the self condemnation, that unbelief that you are not saved or are a reprobate. Instead make an effort to connect to a church. Avoid dating anyone there but instead allow God to use the church to help bring victory into your life. Now I am not just talking any church. Find one that has the power of God, believing in deliverance and healing. One that has good doctrine and the presence of God. I would consider just having a low profile for a few weeks, to see if you are getting anything from the church. Your a pretty new convert, who is facing a tough issue seemingly alone. Find someone that can help disciple you. Don't ever grow numb to this sin, continue to fight it but do not let it isolate and destroy you. God be with you.
 
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com7fy8

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"'No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, "And they shall all be taught by God." Therefore everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to Me.'" (John 6:44-45)

So, you go by what you learn from God. And do not trust any stuff which has you messed-up and confused in half-taught stuff which keeps you confused and troubled. Trust Jesus, instead. And Jesus guarantees what He will do with us who trust Him and obey Him in His yoke >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

God corrects us, by changing our character. And in the character of God's love we share with Him in His almighty power so we are loving and we are not giving in to anti-love stuff.

God makes us creative in His love, for how to love any person. We can help anyone, because of Jesus in us who understands and knows how to help anyone. He grows us with Him in this.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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If you don’t, how do you bring that about? What do you specifically mean “without expecting anything—salvation?
Consuder Agape Love as the catalyst. It is this kind of love that precipitates our condition. In other words, this kind of love is deeply meaningful and transformative.
This is the sudden and profound realization or understanding of who Jesus Christ of Nazareth is. This is a moment of clarity. A sudden, intense moment of insight. It can happen at any time in one's life but He does not force us to Love Him, we have free will. This kind of Agape Love has everything to do with His promise of salvation. He makes His Home in the believer who Loves Him through the indwelling of His Holy Spirit. He can not make His Home in someone who only believes , they must Love Him with all their heart, soul and mind.
So how can one Love Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Relinquish all doubt, humble one's self and seek out His Truth.
Blessings
 
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AlexB23

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One more thing, @IsaacRoyale , this is what the machine said, if you want a better answer than mine. It is kinda funny how my computer said it would offer prayers for you, but I already offered a prayer for you from my flesh and blood existence.

1725401314111.png
 
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