need encouragement

[Bell122855]

I don't know if this is due to depression or something else but I just don't feel anymore. First, let me preface by saying that I have been deeply hurt and disappointed most of my life by everyone I have been close too. I am not overly sensitive nor do I set high expectations on people. My Mom notices it so at least I know I am not losing my mind and making it up. It seems as though the only emotion I feel at times is anger. As silly as it sounds I adopted two small dogs a few years ago and while I do feel close to them and I do feel love for them whenever I feel love I also feel fear, like I am afraid something will happen to them. They have become my comfort and I know to some people that sounds stupid but I never had pets before and they came during a very painful time in my life. I believe they keep me from sinking into depression. I attend Colorado Christian University at home online so I never get out of the house unless it is to walk them or take them outside to play. If I didn't have them I wouldn't leave the house, I just don't care to. Part of this I know is because I married (not my first marriage) two years ago and I found out within 6 months that he wasn't who he said he is and I was crushed. Before that I had issue with feeling too but not as bad. Any advice? Encouragement? Anyone else experience this?

 

[Greg J.]

Some psychologists believe that depression is the result of suppressed anger. In my case, I can believe it. (I spent decades suppressing all my socially uncomfortable emotions.) Psychotherapy can expose why you're angry which enables you to deal with it, which as you might expect, affects the depression.

I have the same connection to my pet that you describe. What helps me in general is to focus on God and remember to trust him and his huge, all-encompassing love for me. One of the things that God is love (1 John 4:8,16) means is that everything God does has love at its root. Eventually I will see that it was because of his love that everything painful happened to me, and I will see how the only way for certain blessings to come to me was through those particular experiences. It helps me get through the effects of sin, pain, and everything else in this world.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6, 1984 NIV)

 

[Mark_Ward]

Hi
I have found thought records to be useful, they tend to be a bit cumbersome to start with and do require a paper and pencil and time to complete them but after some practice you will be able to do them in your head in a very few minutes.

In summary what you do is take the negative thought that cause unhappiness and examine it. You end up turning it on its head and deciding for yourself that, in most cases, there was nothing you could do or change to change the action of the other that led you to sadness. I am sure if you Google thought records or CBT Cognitive behavioural therapy you will find a much better explanation

best wishes - Mark

 

[singpraise]

At the times in my life suffering from negativity and depression I learned to study the inspirational verses from the Bible and really take hold of them. Try to learn one positive verse per day. Repeat a verse to yourself each morning, regardless of how you feel. Feelings are not always real. Emotions are a tool. You should be in control of your emotions, not allow your emotions to control you.

You can have a better life and it can happen soon. Make an effort to renew your mind by setting your will towards God and what God has in store for you, which are many good things and a wonderful life.

If I told you my story of where I was without God to where I am now with God you would be amazed. I should have stayed down, according the odds. But God honors faith and God hears your prayers. Especially powerful are those prayers in which you quote the Word of God to Him, and you know you are praying in accordance with His will for your life.

For instance, wouldn't it be amazing if it were really true that you can ask God for ANYTHING you want or need and have confidence He will provide it? Let your heart and mind take hold of the truth of that reality. If you pray with faith and perseverance it can and will really happen. My life is living proof of it.

Start studying. Get a Promise book, search online. Even read The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, who was a faith-filled Christian. Stop buying into the negative lies of the devil. You are better than that. You deserve better. Take one small step in faith per day and you will be amazed at the change in your life.

If a negative thought creeps into your mind tell it: "You are a lie, you are not from God. You have no power over me any longer."

 

[Jeshu]

The battle can be won with and in faith. It is the lack of trust that is a big part of your problem because a lot of people who ought to be trusted to love and care for you haven't done that you have gained anger and disappointment instead of a solid base to build your life on.

It is about learning to let go of distrust and learn to trust God and His care over your life - take in His loving promises and make them your own. The more you rebuild your life in His loving truth the more the anger and depression will be powerless to harm you.

It is about gaining your good life - not loosing it as you have done so far - though you best loose the bad life you have now for it is no good to base/build your existence on anger instead of love. You need Jesus as your sure foundation that way He can rebuild your life for you and teach to the value of loving truthfully.

I wrote a prose about what conclusion suffer brought me in the end, see what you think.

What Can I Say About Suffering

What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and so let our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that all lies end up in the Pit - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment instead?

Over time I have learned to see that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Yet still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let such be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed in our hearts and minds at all times.

I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.

I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids! Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony, so that misery may never rule my life again. No more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead complete freedom for me to be me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.

I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?

I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others, but simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.

So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.

 

[singpraise]

The battle can be won with and in faith. It is the lack of trust that is a big part of your problem because a lot of people who ought to be trusted to love and care for you haven't done that you have gained anger and disappointment instead of a solid base to build your life on.

It is about learning to let go of distrust and learn to trust God and His care over your life - take in His loving promises and make them your own. The more you rebuild your life in His loving truth the more the anger and depression will be powerless to harm you.

It is about gaining your good life - not loosing it as you have done so far - though you best loose the bad life you have now for it is no good to base/build your existence on anger instead of love. You need Jesus as your sure foundation that way He can rebuild your life for you and teach to the value of loving truthfully.

I wrote a prose about what conclusion suffer brought me in the end, see what you think.

What Can I Say About Suffering

What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and so let our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that all lies end up in the Pit - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment instead?

Over time I have learned to see that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Yet still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let such be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed in our hearts and minds at all times.

I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.

I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids! Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony, so that misery may never rule my life again. No more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead complete freedom for me to be me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.

I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?

I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others, but simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.

So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.

That's beautiful!!

 

[Tempura]

I had a phase of feeling nothing at some point. I was on a lot of drugs, but it wasn't all because of that. I did fall back into my comfort zone like you did. I stayed indoors to a point where it took a toll on me. I still do, but at least I get out sometimes now. I'm a lot better than what I used to be. I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else, and I'm not a bubble just waiting to burst. I hope and trust that you will be better as well. Ask God for help, I said a prayer for you too.

With depression, there can be a sense of depersonalization/derealisation. Or anyone going through something for that matter, especially if they "escape" the world and become shut-ins (or change their behavior in some other drastic way). For some those effects are huge, for some there isn't any, but I think there's a lot of that gray area that most of us are familiar with.

Anger is a nuisance. People have a hard time dealing with it. Either we hurt someone or ourselves directly, or then we wallow in it, letting it eat us and nothing good comes out of it either way. Then again sometimes anger is very justified, and it can give us some energy or motivation, but it's not very common for us to handle it right. If it's not just frustration but something that eats us, it's just something we need to deal with, no matter what the issue is. It's hard to accept some things that have happened, what have been done to me, or even what I've done to someone else, and same with our loved ones if we're feeling vicarious anger. But acceptance is key. If you accept something, it doesn't mean you should like it or be all hippie about it. I know this sounds like BS and all of this is very easy to say. I struggle with useless anger very often. I hate it. It doesn't do me any good. It just eats me. After a while I just pray for the Lord to take it away. I tell Him that I don't want it. It seems to help. It's like when we go to God with it, we're fully admitting how useless it is and how we want to get rid of it.

 

[cant_think_of_a_name]

I don't know if this is due to depression or something else but I just don't feel anymore. First, let me preface by saying that I have been deeply hurt and disappointed most of my life by everyone I have been close too.

My heart really goes out to you. I've gone through an extended period of time where I was extremely apathetic (actually due to health issues). I never felt happy or sad; I just never felt. To me, having no emotions was even worse than having negative emotions.

I'm not a therapist, but what's it's worth, here's my humble thoughts. With most things, there's a fundamental angle and a practical angle. On a fundamental level, I'm going to say what I'm sure you know already Lay everything down at the cross. The good, the bad, the ugly. Your hurt, your apathy, your confusion. Ask Him that you can find joy in Him even if the whole world rejects you.

It's times like this where I go to Him and say "Well, God, looks like it's just me and You again." (Even though I know it's usually not true..there are people in my life.) But He is enough! Keep crying out to Him. It takes perseverance, but He is there and loves you more than You could imagine

Now for the practical level (the "step 2") :

I attend Colorado Christian University at home online so I never get out of the house unless it is to walk them or take them outside to play.

At least for me, there are a few things that make up a formula for depression:
1) Bad things happen to you (or good things don't)
2) You isolate
3) You don't help anybody anymore
4) You isolate more
5) You stop spending "good time" with God (i.e. only complain every now and again)
6) You have a lot of free time on your hands.

On the practical level, I highly encourage you to get out and spend time with people, particularly meaningful time with encouraging Christians. Even if you're an introvert! (You can make it up with alone time later.) And maybe it's selfish to help people because it helps yourself, but hey, God can purify your motives in the process. It's hard to be depressed if you're busy, helpful, and social. And it's hard to rise out of depression if you're in your room all the time.

Sorry if this sounds harsh; I'm just speaking from my own experiences, and it breaks my heart to see how you're going through this.

Best wishes!!

 

[Chaplain David]

I don't know if this is due to depression or something else but I just don't feel anymore. First, let me preface by saying that I have been deeply hurt and disappointed most of my life by everyone I have been close too. I am not overly sensitive nor do I set high expectations on people. My Mom notices it so at least I know I am not losing my mind and making it up. It seems as though the only emotion I feel at times is anger. As silly as it sounds I adopted two small dogs a few years ago and while I do feel close to them and I do feel love for them whenever I feel love I also feel fear, like I am afraid something will happen to them. They have become my comfort and I know to some people that sounds stupid but I never had pets before and they came during a very painful time in my life. I believe they keep me from sinking into depression. I attend Colorado Christian University at home online so I never get out of the house unless it is to walk them or take them outside to play. If I didn't have them I wouldn't leave the house, I just don't care to. Part of this I know is because I married (not my first marriage) two years ago and I found out within 6 months that he wasn't who he said he is and I was crushed. Before that I had issue with feeling too but not as bad. Any advice? Encouragement? Anyone else experience this?

Hi,

I'm David, one of the CF Chaplains. I suggest you start a confidential thread in the Ask a Chaplain Forum. You can talk to us about all of this and we could talk about how you feel and possible recommendations.

I've felt like you said you feel. But have been blessed enough to get some decent therapy and get through it. Today, despite a number of difficulties I am happy and hopeful. You can be happy too it just takes a little work and a lot of faith. But I can tell that you have that. Otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread here. One of the neat things about these threads is that a lot of people are either helped or realize that they want to be helpful. I bet that you like to help people too. God bless and all the best.