Need advice please

[thelilyrosa1981]

I have an almost 14yr old son. I do not know what to really do as a Christian. Any &amp; all advice would be greatly apprechated. I am going to give you a lot of information about the earlier years.<br /><br />In 2000 I was 19 years old and never been to a wedding that I could remember. I was dating a man old enough to be my father (43). He was from Cuba and done a Cubin wedding with me alone. So stupid me and being so young I thought that I was married. I was living in Payson AZ and my mother, my adopted father and my sister were living in Pheniox. Not long after that I found out that I was pregnant. My mother started to say that my son was hers. Saying that God took an egg from her and placed it in me. She even told me that the man I was with wasnt that father. She said that God told her that. Not long after that things got bad and the man I thought that I was married to got very abusive. I called a local shelter and left. They helped me get a resrtaining order against him. The judge told me that I wasnt actually married to this man. I apperently freaked out and she (the judge) and a worker from the shelter was trying to calm me down. A few months later while dealing with my mothers words I was in a Gas station and a very tall black man (taller than me and Im 5'11) looked right at me said that he waa my unborn babys father and that he could say that with because "I was the only one who didnt wear a condom." This sent me over the edge again and I went running to the court house. The Judge was just coming back to her office and I told her what happened. I never got the mans name. <br />Through out my ENTIRE pregnancy all I heard from my mother constently telling me that my child was hers. While telling everyone else that she was looking forward to being a grandmother. I wasnt even actually allowed to name him what I wanted. This went on even after my bright eyed baby boy was born in late 2002. Then I got yelled at for not being able to calm him down when he was a new born. How it was her and her husband. I never got the help in dealing with what happened and how he came to be or being told by the man who raped me confronted me about it. We (my family &amp; I) were always traveling after we left the state of AZ. However ended up back there bc of my contractions on our way back west. <br />After my son was born we camped. The only time I got to really spend time with my son was at night when it was time for bed. Then I was allowed to be his mom. This ended in Nov 2002. <br />I realized that I was that I was taking my anger out on my son because my mind saw the man that told me he was the father. I was also dealing with my mother who kept saying that my sons was hers. I was blessed in April of 2004 with my daughter and thats when my mother started more about my son was hers. I didnt know which way to really go and I decided that I would seek help and try to find councleing because my son deserved a mother who would love him instead of taking my pain out on him. I left him with my mother. I thought that was a smart thing to do instead of taking him with me and then screwing up and child welfare took him away. Now I do understand that my mother took him in and raised him while I was finding help to over come the pain and anger. I also didnt have a stable home and didnt want to risk losing him. <br />In 2007 when I lived in Kentucky and married to my last ex husand my mother told me that if I didnt have a paper wrote up signed and noterized giving up my rights that she would have me "jailed." "I dont want full custody. I want full custody. You will give it or I will make your life a living hell!" She also said that she would claim I abducted him at birth by not allowing her to put her name on his birth certifagite and also abandenment. So out of fear I did. <br />In May 2012 my son called me and asked if I was still listed as his mother this needless to say woke me up with a jolt. My mother "allowed" me to come and get him and 6weeks later my son and I came back. While in Missouri my son told me that he knew that I was his mother and how he came to be. Never told me who told him but he and I talked about it. He also decided to look up what it can do to a woman mentally and emochionally when we were at the Library. <br />Present. My son has been home schooled in Arkansas since Kindergarden. For a while because my son started having allergies that got bad I backed my mother on it. Now he can go to HS and wants to live with me and my new husband. We have been married almost two years and still live in the same house. This is a plus. Now my mother wont let him. She went back on all that she said. My son stood up to her and told his grandmother that he wants to live with me and that I am his mother. My mom BLEW up. His mind was set. Then she used her normal scare tactics. She has told him that if he leaves her property (the live 8miles from town in the country) that he wouldnt have "Gods protection" and "Once you get into Hish School you will be set up for something that you didnt do and will be arrested for it. Bobbie will also be arrested. You will go into a foster care system." So now my son told my sister to tell me that he wanted to stay there. My contact has been cut with them by my mother. I heard my son in the back ground he didnt sound like he wanted to stay. <br /><br />I know how to deal with this legally but how do I handle this in a Christian way?

 

[kidwboro]

Meditate on the Scriptures.
Always keep in mind that in this world you will have tribulations, but Christ has overcome the world.
Dwell in God, and He in you, and you will find rest unto your soul, even if outward circumstances are falling apart.

 

[thelilyrosa1981]

My mother taught me that and that is something that I have been doing. However my mother says that Im wrong and still claims my son. Any time I went against her right or wrong she has always had something negative to say. My husband wants to show her how much she has hurt me by giving her the same rules to go by as she did me.

 

[dragongunner]

Well your mother has learned the ungodly practice of manipulation, and sounds like she had serious mental issues that never got addressed. If you signed something that says your mother is the "mother" or anything that gave her full custody I'm not sure what you can do now legally. I work with a gal that was on drugs, and bipolar that gave up her kids early, then later in life she got better….I guess, maturity wise anyway, ad fought to get her kids back, both of them wanted to come back, but when she got them, she and them it didn't work out, and her kids went back to either the "bad" dad, or the grandparents and have no respect for her. She thought she had done the right thing but it just didn't work out. So make sure if you can legally get your son your mature enough, strong enough, and "mentally" their for him. I hope you are, because from what you have said, that child needs takin away from your mother, very sad story. I hope the very best for you, I hope you can get as far from your mother as possible, and continue to grow in Christ and have a good life. I pray for your son also, at least he is 14 now and a few short years, and hopefully mentally sound can go his own way and find a good life. God Bless.

 

[com7fy8]

Before trying to tell you what to do . . . I myself need to pray

You need to pray and obey how God guides you creatively in His peace. He will perfectly guide you

Is your husband a Christian? Do you take care of things like this together?

Possibly, you can pray with each other and receive however God has you in agreement about what to do, in His peace.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

Even if this is not how you have been doing things now, trust God in prayer, how He is able to do this.