Need advice: I'm a possible future youth leader...

[ShadowInTheLight]

{I have decided that I am not sure about youth ministry. I don't believe it is where God wants me at this point. Thank you for all the advice regarding this. It is still appreciated. ~Feb. 26, 2018}

Hello, brothers and sisters,

My church is in dire need of a youth ministry, and honestly has been for a long time. We recently lost the only person that was willing to be with the four or five kids that might show up every week, and she's gone now and isn't coming back.

I had been wanting to help out for a long time, way before our youth programs were 100% dismantled. I've probably been talking about it off and on for a year and our pastor has given me specific readings to look into. I know he wants me to learn what youth ministry should be focused and based on, I'm just having a hard time since I have little experience with youth programs in the first place (unfortunately for me, I was not raised with it. I continue to question why I even want to do this, and have decided by now that I am going to prayerfully go forward since this desire isn't fading away).

I need a ton of advice. Don't feel you have to post a lot. A little will go a long way for me. Believe me, I will take anything you say into consideration and pray about it.

Thanks guys!


{Please pray that God will provide for this ministry whether it's me or other people who end up running it.}
{Please do upvote your favorite suggestions!}

 

[Paidiske]

What do the kids who are turning up want from this youth ministry? I'd start by asking them - they might surprise you.

 

[“Paisios”]

Hi,

I’ve been our church’s youth group leader for about 3 years, and assisted for about 3 years before that. I am not ordained clergy, nor do I have specific training, so keep that in mind while reading this.

We tried to run ours very informally, and wanted a big social aspect to it in order to draw the youth in...but over the course of about a year, we found that it fell apart completely. Without structure, and essentially without God, we needed up with huge behavioral problems and lost a lot of members.

When I first took over, we ran a Youth Alpha course for a 12 week period, which went over really well, and the group loved the youth videos (there are adult ones too). About

But after that, we lost structure, and things went downhill, horribly.

We took a break last summer to refocus, and restructured the whole thing. In September, we started a new focus on Discipleship and how to live a Christian life and get closer to God in the modern world. We tightened up the structure of our meetings,and now have one of the youth leading with worship music, another regularly does a reading of the psalm, and we get participation in the discussion. We have a much smaller group, but those who come seem to get more from it than was happening before. We started out emphasizing that we (the leadership) had messed up and sinned by not bringing God more deeply into the group, that they (the youth) should think of us (the leaders) as “fellow patients in the same hospital, who having been admitted a little earlier, could give some advice” (CS Lewis), and that we were all working through this together.

Our typical 2 hour meeting looks like this:

Opening prayer
Live worship music led by our youth members
Reading of one of the Psalms
Group discussion/lesson
Intercessory prayers for identified needs and requests, including prayer over individuals if they desire it (with laying on of hands)
Closing prayer
Snack and social time (for the last ~30 minutes)

Our topics, since coming back, have been in this order:

What is Discipleship? And what are the stages of discipleship (we used slave, hireling and son/daughter, from St. Basil)
First step in discipleship - “Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is near!” - confession and acknowledgment of sin, turning away from our old nature, walking to the Father with Jesus; regular occurrence, not a one time 5ing
A Series on the seven traditional “Virtues” and how they can be seen as tools to help us draw closer to and walk more in step with God
“The Theological Virtues”
Love - used 1 John, 1 Corinthians 13, the Crucifixion and others (the Great and Second Commandments) to describe what Love is; also pointed out that even though we are under grace not law, to follow the 10 commandments is being loving, so we still should
Hope
Faith
“The Cardinal Virtues”
Prudence
Justice
Temperance
Fortitude

Now we are starting on a series about spiritual disciplines, not in some kind of legalistic or ritualistic way, but also as means to keep our flesh under control and help us to walk with and focus on God.

What are spiritual disciplines? Why should we practice them?
Scripture Reading and memorization
Scripture Study
Prayer
Fasting
Christian meditation (NOT to be confused with Eastern transcendental meditation!)
Submission
Solitude
Simplicity
Service
Confession
Worship
Guidance
Celebration

We are using Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, and Dallas Willard’s The Spirit of the Disciplines as reference texts for this series.

It appears to be working for us. Obviously there are many ways to run a youth group, and hopefully you’ll get other ideas and good advice. I would encourage you to make sure you have the support of, and some ongoing involvement of your pastor. That is vital. (And make sure you really include God in your group - through prayer, praise and worship - it’s rude to have a party or meeting in someone’s house, and not invite Him to come...)

 

[Tolworth John]

My church is in dire need of a youth ministry, and honestly has been for a long time. We recently lost the only person that was willing to be with the four or five kids that might show up every week, and she's gone now and isn't coming back.

I had been wanting to help out for a long time

Do you mean taking bible studies with children or running a youth club?
What is the age range? How many are boys and how many are girls?

Have you talked with the minister about his child protection policy?
If he looks blankly at you tell him to research it and you will read his policy and let him know if you'll help.

 

[Seany111]

Hey, just interested... hows it been going since you posted this?

 

[David7818]

{I have decided that I am not sure about youth ministry. I don't believe it is where God wants me at this point. Thank you for all the advice regarding this. It is still appreciated. ~Feb. 26, 2018}

Hello, brothers and sisters,

My church is in dire need of a youth ministry, and honestly has been for a long time. We recently lost the only person that was willing to be with the four or five kids that might show up every week, and she's gone now and isn't coming back.

I had been wanting to help out for a long time, way before our youth programs were 100% dismantled. I've probably been talking about it off and on for a year and our pastor has given me specific readings to look into. I know he wants me to learn what youth ministry should be focused and based on, I'm just having a hard time since I have little experience with youth programs in the first place (unfortunately for me, I was not raised with it. I continue to question why I even want to do this, and have decided by now that I am going to prayerfully go forward since this desire isn't fading away).

I need a ton of advice. Don't feel you have to post a lot. A little will go a long way for me. Believe me, I will take anything you say into consideration and pray about it.

Thanks guys!


{Please pray that God will provide for this ministry whether it's me or other people who end up running it.}
{Please do upvote your favorite suggestions!}

I think it's important to keep in mind that the God of the city of God created his version of Satan first, and the angels of youth and Satan as well were to be youthful angels together tolead one another in their journey of life and I think as youth we should all stand together. Satan may be the dark prince, but his elders only seek to throw him into the lake of fire. They are no good.

 

[YouthPastorBrett]

Hello, I'm new here and seems I'm a little late to this thread. I hope your youth ministry is thriving. I grew up in youth ministry. I was a student leader through my 4 yours of Christian college for youth ministry. I have worked a number of years at Christain summer camps, and then as a youth pastor for 3 years. I am now at a Christian Discipleship School for high school graduates who want to pursue ministry.

I know the specifics of youth ministry can be boggling, but the reality is that kids want to love. Healthy, Biblical love just like Christ loves us. Lots of kids come from very painful backgrounds, and in my experience, if they show up at church, it's because they don't want to be somewhere else. I would suggest starting simple and just find out how you can love on them in a way that is biblical, and that they need. Show up at their sports meets. Take two at a time out for coffee and just ask questions and listen. When they know you care about who they are, they will care about what you say as you lead them closer to God through the Bible. Keep up the kingdom work, and stay encouraged!

 

[JakeyB123]

Pray to Jesus, and do not stop praying until you hear from him.
Believe you shall receive the answer, and you will indeed receive.
I did see your update, but until you hear from the Lord I wouldn't make a solid decision.
Our youth is in huge need of sound-doctrine, so study yourself to be approved, forget all man-made doctrine, and abide in the Lord Jesus.
May God bless you abundantly according to his plan. Amen!

 

[Paidiske]

Show up at their sports meets. Take two at a time out for coffee and just ask questions and listen...

Is that considered normal where you are? Where I am, it would be considered improper for me to do either of those things.

 

[YouthPastorBrett]

Is that considered normal where you are? Where I am, it would be considered improper for me to do either of those things.

I did not consider cultural difference, this is a good point. Yes, in the United States it would generally be seen as acceptable if a church youth worker were to go to student events. It's done equally for all the students so there is no favoritism. During high school, my youth pastor came to sporting events for all the students in my youth group. Many of our parents wouldn't show up but having someone in the audience to tell us "good job" was meaning full. I found this was effective (sports events, debates, chess tournaments, school plays... whatever they invited me to) with my youth group students in the United States.

 

[JakeyB123]

I did not consider cultural difference, this is a good point. Yes, in the United States it would generally be seen as acceptable if a church youth worker were to go to student events. It's done equally for all the students so there is no favoritism. During high school, my youth pastor came to sporting events for all the students in my youth group. Many of our parents wouldn't show up but having someone in the audience to tell us "good job" was meaning full. I found this was effective (sports events, debates, chess tournaments, school plays... whatever they invited me to) with my youth group students in the United States.

It doesn't matter if the culture approves, this world is ran by Satan, we are to go according to the word of God and not the traditions of men.
We are not to mind earthly things.

 

[Paidiske]

I did not consider cultural difference, this is a good point. Yes, in the United States it would generally be seen as acceptable if a church youth worker were to go to student events. It's done equally for all the students so there is no favoritism. During high school, my youth pastor came to sporting events for all the students in my youth group. Many of our parents wouldn't show up but having someone in the audience to tell us "good job" was meaning full. I found this was effective (sports events, debates, chess tournaments, school plays... whatever they invited me to) with my youth group students in the United States.

Where I am, cultivating a relationship with minors outside the church would be considered improper because it could be seen as grooming behaviour. For example, I couldn't ask a 17-year-old in my church to babysit my 6-year-old, because that would be seen as seeking a relationship outside my pastoral role with that person.

That has particular problems, but is where we've arrived at after all the abuse scandals.