- Aug 3, 2018
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I'm new to this forum. I am a follower of Jesus Christ who has struggled with alcohol. I've been sober for over three years due to God's grace. He freed me from my obsession from alcohol. Every day I thank him for keeping me sober and ask for his help in remaining sober.
My issue is my 12-step program. (I'm anonymous on this forum so I will name it: AA) I am grateful to the program because it helped me to stop drinking. I believe God led me there. However, as I gotten closer to the Lord, I have begun to feel uncomfortable in meetings. It seems there is a direct correlation between the two: the closer I grow to God, the more upset I get about how others refer to him in meetings.
Over the last few decades, the program has become increasingly distant to God. The concept of a "Higher Power" has been distorted to mean just about anything except Jesus Christ. People believe they can literally conjure up a god who will be whatever they want him to be, which is usually someone who is happy with them no matter what they do, has no commandments and does not hold them accountable for anything. It's a Santa Claus god who is just there to gift them with whatever they want. Or-even worse--god can be another person, a group of people in recovery or even an inanimate object. It is ridiculous and non-sensical. (If God could be whatever we wanted him to be, he wouldn't be God: we would.)
I've tried to overlook this in meetings and remember that my Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ. However, I sometimes edit myself because I'm afraid of the reaction I will get when I say Jesus. It is usually not positive, although a person can name just about any other "god" and no one cares. I feel convicted when I hesitate to name Christ, because I know I should not be ashamed of him or afraid of others' reaction. In fact, I'm supposed to make disciples of others.
The other thing that bothers me is sometimes people will say very offensive things about Jesus and/or make disparaging remarks about Christians. A few times I had to silently pray in order to keep sitting there and not say something or walk out. Later I felt worse because I viewed my silence as acquiescence.
I'm not sure if I should just stop going to meetings or stay and possibly be a witness to others who are struggling (and risk getting kicked out). Also, it has been drilled into my head that I must stay in the program to remain sober. I fear if I stop going I will relapse (though I have no desire to drink). Adding to this is the fact is I recently moved to a new city and state where I don't know anyone. The few friends I have made so far are in AA.
I would appreciate thoughts from my fellow Christians--particularly those who have been through recovery.
My issue is my 12-step program. (I'm anonymous on this forum so I will name it: AA) I am grateful to the program because it helped me to stop drinking. I believe God led me there. However, as I gotten closer to the Lord, I have begun to feel uncomfortable in meetings. It seems there is a direct correlation between the two: the closer I grow to God, the more upset I get about how others refer to him in meetings.
Over the last few decades, the program has become increasingly distant to God. The concept of a "Higher Power" has been distorted to mean just about anything except Jesus Christ. People believe they can literally conjure up a god who will be whatever they want him to be, which is usually someone who is happy with them no matter what they do, has no commandments and does not hold them accountable for anything. It's a Santa Claus god who is just there to gift them with whatever they want. Or-even worse--god can be another person, a group of people in recovery or even an inanimate object. It is ridiculous and non-sensical. (If God could be whatever we wanted him to be, he wouldn't be God: we would.)
I've tried to overlook this in meetings and remember that my Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ. However, I sometimes edit myself because I'm afraid of the reaction I will get when I say Jesus. It is usually not positive, although a person can name just about any other "god" and no one cares. I feel convicted when I hesitate to name Christ, because I know I should not be ashamed of him or afraid of others' reaction. In fact, I'm supposed to make disciples of others.
The other thing that bothers me is sometimes people will say very offensive things about Jesus and/or make disparaging remarks about Christians. A few times I had to silently pray in order to keep sitting there and not say something or walk out. Later I felt worse because I viewed my silence as acquiescence.
I'm not sure if I should just stop going to meetings or stay and possibly be a witness to others who are struggling (and risk getting kicked out). Also, it has been drilled into my head that I must stay in the program to remain sober. I fear if I stop going I will relapse (though I have no desire to drink). Adding to this is the fact is I recently moved to a new city and state where I don't know anyone. The few friends I have made so far are in AA.
I would appreciate thoughts from my fellow Christians--particularly those who have been through recovery.