Hi. I am a devoted Christian female married to a nominal Christian who has committed adultery. I forgave the adultery, but he refuses to work and is on the run from law. He was on disability collecting $750/mo but he lost it and isn't seeking God or work. I understand that adultery is grounds for divorce, but I know God hates divorce at the same time. I don't know what to do. I'm looking for thoughts from anyone who feels moved, but particularly from other Christians who have faced similar situations. Also, I have become lukewarm in my faith I believe partially because my desire is toward my husband and he does not seek God.
Thanks
I have, sadly, been on the receiving end of divorce. My former wife committed adultery and also pulled the trigger on the divorce. I know the struggle that it put the kids through before and after. I don't wish that on anyone. But, being forced into that sad situation didn't move me away from my strong faith. I understood it was an attack; but I wasn't about to give away the greatest gift I have ever received--my relationship with God--because things happened in this world I didn't like.
You said you forgave your husband's adultery and since you said your desire is for your husband, it sounds like you don't want divorce anyway. Be assured that his lack of working and nominal Christianity aren't legitimate reasons to seek divorce, according to the Scriptures (See 1 Cor 7 for example or Matt 19:9).
The most important thing you can do is pray and ask God in accordance with His Word what you want to happen--your marriage being restored, renewed, and even stronger than before, to be a house built on Jesus Christ--the firm foundation, to be truly devoted to Him so that in the good times and in the tough times, you are growing closer and closer to Him and that you will never drift again, but become more resolute in crises. Go to 1 Cor 7 and talk to God about your unbelieving husband and ask that God would do the work in His heart to make him the head of the house that God wants him to be--one that loves God and brings glory to His Name in everything he does and doesn't do. Be like the nagging woman with the unrighteous judge. Ask and ask and ask God to do something to change your situation. Ask God to show you what He wants you to do while He is doing His part. You don't have to say everything at once. The more you think to pray the more you are thinking about God. The more you are in His Word, the more you learn what to ask Him. He wants to be including in your life--through it all.
If you haven't watched War Room, I would recommend watching that. It may help give you some ideas on how to battle for your faith and your marriage and kindle some of your own unique prayers!
I would also recommend listening to Scripture and if possible while sleeping at night, too.
Jennifer, in the short paragraph, you referred to yourself as both devoted and lukewarm. God can fix things; but you can't and I can't. Earnestly give this whole situation to Him and trust Him with the outcome.
