My worries please calm me down

[Kostilaks]

I am worrying for some thoughts without my will that are about promises to an other God about not doing an old compulsion. These thoughts without my will pop up when I am frustrated or when I am carefree.

I do not want to do the compulsion and I cant ignore ocd. so, my system suggests me to trick ocd by allowing these thoughts without my will about promises to an other God about not doing the tiring compulsion. I feel relieved because I am being forced not to do the compulsion. The problem is I cant remember how strong these thoughts without my will are or why i end up having them or why I feel relieved. I do not remember, for a second, if my system allows them on purpose or if I have the chance to stop them.

sometimes, i am able to confirm that they are without my will cause I freak and pray to an other God to tell Him that they are without my will. I even try not to think them but I cant. Some other times, I am carefree and bored that even though I know my system will suggest me to pretend that I have thoughts without my will about promises to an other God in order to trick my ocd and feel free.

I have told myself not to force myself out of a compulsion by having these thoughts without my will cause I end up more worried. but i always fail. it is like as if I forgot how much worry I may have later or how much scary these thoughts without my will are. I tried to stop but I failed. and sometimes, I accidentally do the compulsion and I am very worried because I was supposed not to do them because these thoughts without my will are about promises to an other God not to do the compulsion

 

[Tolworth John]

The Spirit of God living in you is aware of the mental conflict going on in your head.
He is able to tell what thoughts and actions are caused by your ocd and what are what you really believe.

 

[brinny]

Kostilaks, only our GOD can "calm" us and grant us "peace" and put to "rest" any "storms" raging. Praying for you, that He moooooves as only He can, and that He soothes you and drives out all un-rest and chaos and confusion, and grants you clarity and healing. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen (((hug)))