It's funny how the situation never seems to change, only the people do.
To elaborate my wife has also said she is not happy with me, and never really loved me and etc etc. In addition she is participating in online sex chat rooms and recently I found out she was planning to meet a guy that she met in one of these rooms. It's just an affair in the making I feel, but it seems nothing much can reach her. I don't really know what to suggest, I guess I'm just posting because I empathize with you and just really wanted to say you are not alone, even though it feels like you are.
I've been every emotion I think a human being can be, and then some. We've been having problems, at least problems I've known about for the last 6 months. I'm still trying as best as able, but she isn't - or at least not that I notice/can see. We are seeing a counselor, and I would suggest the same for you guys, especially doing a personality profile, as it will show you both how the other person ticks, and at the moment - if you are like me anyhow - I bet you often wonder what is going through her mind. That has been one thing which has really helped me, and helped me understand my wife better. Other than that, try and love her. Love her not because she is your wife, but because you can see her value as a person. Make your love not relative to her, or her actions. It's by far easier to type that than to do, but it
can be done, not all the time, as we are only human after all, but it can certainly be done and then it's up to God to do the rest. Additionally, make sure she respects your boundaries, do not let her entertain the idea of an affair, or an emotional affair.
I can also recommend Love Must Be Tough by Dr James Dobson.