My wife has turned atheist!

[Ana the Ist]

Hello all, I could use a little advice from any Christians with children, especially children who are engaged/married.

Here goes, I'm an atheist and have been since I was about 13. I met the woman who would become my wife about 4 years ago. WHen we began dating I knew she believed in Jesus and God even though she wasn't very religious (rarely went to church). I didn't hide the fact that I am atheist from her, I believe in honesty. She didn't seem to be bothered by this at all, she loves me unconditionally as I do her.

WE married after a year and maybe 6 months after that we ran into our first moral quandary. Without going into any great detail, she was afraid she was pregnant and not ready to be a mother. SHe wanted my opinion, and being honest I told her I would abort it if I were in her shoes, but I would support any decision she made. She knew she wasn't ready, but she didn't want to burn in hell for eternity. This led to our first conversation about my atheism and I gently introduced her to the possibility she was wrong about Jesus, god, hell, etc.

Flash forward over the next two years and she occasionally comes to me with religious questions about the soul and free will and the afterlife. I of course answer her as honestly as I can, until about 6 months ago she admits to me that she no longer believes in god. She sees the whole idea as silly and she can hardly believe she ever bought into it. We're both still very much in love and all the more happy for it.

THe problem is this, her parents are still very much catholic. She seems to think they would react very poorly if they found out she is atheist. So what do you guys think? If your child turned atheist, was obviously very happy, would you rather know about it or not? We aren't in any hurry to tell her folks. I wondered how you guys would react if it was your child. Is It important to know? EVen if your child Is happy and in love? Would it change your feelings for her/him? What about your feelings for their spouse? (ASsuming prior to this you thought he was the best person alive)?

 

[Faulty]

Of course I'd want to know. I wouldn't want them dying in that state and being lost forever. There's way too much at stake, as in everything, and this not only for my child, but their spouse as well.

 

[Humble Pie]

My great grandfather was an atheist as is my uncle and all my cousins.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Of course I'd want to know. I wouldn't want them dying in that state and being lost forever. There's way too much at stake, as in everything, and this not only for my child, but their spouse as well.

Would you attempt to convert them?

 

[Faulty]

Would you attempt to convert them?

I can't convert anyone. I can share the gospel though, which is called "the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" (Rom 1:16).

 

[Ana the Ist]

I can't convert anyone. I can share the gospel though, which is called "the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" (Rom 1:16).

Well thanks for the honest reply.

 

[Faulty]

I'm curious though, what evidence your wife is using to somehow go from believing in God to now not believing.

You said she came to you with religious questions (which I don't really understand why) and you answered them, then she no longer believed in God. What is it you said to her?

 

[Theofane]

@Ana the 1st

Your Catholic in-laws are going to find out your fiancee is an atheist sooner or later. If I were you, I'd make sure they found out in a good way and not in a bad way. You may not be given permission to marry this person because of the atheism.

 

[peggy sue]

Hello all, I could use a little advice from any Christians with children, especially children who are engaged/married.

Here goes, I'm an atheist and have been since I was about 13. I met the woman who would become my wife about 4 years ago. WHen we began dating I knew she believed in Jesus and God even though she wasn't very religious (rarely went to church). I didn't hide the fact that I am atheist from her, I believe in honesty. She didn't seem to be bothered by this at all, she loves me unconditionally as I do her.

WE married after a year and maybe 6 months after that we ran into our first moral quandary. Without going into any great detail, she was afraid she was pregnant and not ready to be a mother. SHe wanted my opinion, and being honest I told her I would abort it if I were in her shoes, but I would support any decision she made. She knew she wasn't ready, but she didn't want to burn in hell for eternity. This led to our first conversation about my atheism and I gently introduced her to the possibility she was wrong about Jesus, god, hell, etc.

Flash forward over the next two years and she occasionally comes to me with religious questions about the soul and free will and the afterlife. I of course answer her as honestly as I can, until about 6 months ago she admits to me that she no longer believes in god. She sees the whole idea as silly and she can hardly believe she ever bought into it. We're both still very much in love and all the more happy for it.

THe problem is this, her parents are still very much catholic. She seems to think they would react very poorly if they found out she is atheist. So what do you guys think? If your child turned atheist, was obviously very happy, would you rather know about it or not? We aren't in any hurry to tell her folks. I wondered how you guys would react if it was your child. Is It important to know? EVen if your child Is happy and in love? Would it change your feelings for her/him? What about your feelings for their spouse? (ASsuming prior to this you thought he was the best person alive)?

actually she probably wasn't really a believer to begin with, because once you have come in contact with God, nothing could change your mind, this is why Christians in the past were willing to be sawed in two, beheaded, burned at the stake, fed to lions, and impaled on poles covered in tar and set on fire. it is impossible to deny the reality of God when He makes Himself known to you, she may have heard about God, learned about Jesus, but never had a personal encounter, once you make contact, it doesn't matter what evidence someone has to disprove His existance, all shadow of doubt is removed forever, also if she really loved Jesus with all her heart, she would of never married an atheist, its a mistake that will cost her forever

 

[Theofane]

actually she probably wasn't really a believer to begin with, because once you have come in contact with God, nothing could change your mind, this is why Christians in the past were willing to be sawed in two, beheaded, burned at the stake, fed to lions, and impaled on poles covered in tar and set on fire. it is impossible to deny the reality of God when He makes Himself known to you, she may have heard about God, learned about Jesus, but never had a personal encounter, once you make contact, it doesn't matter what evidence someone has to disprove His existance, all shadow of doubt is removed forever, also if she really loved Jesus with all her heart, she would of never married an atheist, its a mistake that will cost her forever

Harsh words, but true.

 

[Faulty]

@Ana the 1st

Your Catholic in-laws are going to find out your fiancee is an atheist sooner or later. If I were you, I'd make sure they found out in a good way and not in a bad way. You may not be given permission to marry this person because of the atheism.

Just a little clarification...

The OP says they are married already, and so does the thread title "My wife has turned athiest".

 

[Soothfish]

She sees the whole idea as silly and she can hardly believe she ever bought into it. We're both still very much in love and all the more happy for it.

That is a very strange thing to be happy about.

I fully understand why it is difficult for people to believe in God because I've been there for most of my life...but what exactly do either of you gain if an all-powerful benevolent deity doesn't exist?

Or are you simply saying that you are both happy about getting the chance to be open about your beliefs?

 

[Ana the Ist]

@Ana the 1st

Your Catholic in-laws are going to find out your fiancee is an atheist sooner or later. If I were you, I'd make sure they found out in a good way and not in a bad way. You may not be given permission to marry this person because of the atheism.

We're already married, going on 4 years. My parents-in-law are very fond of me.

 

[Ana the Ist]

actually she probably wasn't really a believer to begin with, because once you have come in contact with God, nothing could change your mind, this is why Christians in the past were willing to be sawed in two, beheaded, burned at the stake, fed to lions, and impaled on poles covered in tar and set on fire. it is impossible to deny the reality of God when He makes Himself known to you, she may have heard about God, learned about Jesus, but never had a personal encounter, once you make contact, it doesn't matter what evidence someone has to disprove His existance, all shadow of doubt is removed forever, also if she really loved Jesus with all her heart, she would of never married an atheist, its a mistake that will cost her forever

We like to call this the No True Scotsman fallacy, and I'm sure its an unpleasant thought but Christians have become atheist and vice versa. I can't say whether she ever had a "personal encounter" with god but I can say she sincerely believed. Her fear for her immortal soul seemed genuine to me.

 

[Ana the Ist]

That is a very strange thing to be happy about.

I fully understand why it is difficult for people to believe in God because I've been there for most of my life...but what exactly do either of you gain if an all-powerful benevolent deity doesn't exist?

Or are you simply saying that you are both happy about getting the chance to be open about your beliefs?

THere is that, and if you ever dig into any of these "couples" threads you'll see pretty quickly that there are a whole host of problems that we won't ever have to deal with. Also, it may be difficult for a believer to understand but there is a whole host of emotions that someone goes through (sometimes) when they turn atheist. THe last one is often a great feeling of relief and freedom and happiness. ALmost like a tremendous weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I'm curious though, what evidence your wife is using to somehow go from believing in God to now not believing.

You said she came to you with religious questions (which I don't really understand why) and you answered them, then she no longer believed in God. What is it you said to her?

She's always regarded me as the smartest person she knows (she thinks intelligence is sexy) so that along with the fact that I am her husband I think it seemed like a good idea to come to me with her questions. I can't go into great detail about what I told her, that would take the topic into apologetics. It did take a good amount of time, over 2 years I'd say, but some of her questions were generalistic. "WHat about the soul and the afterlife if god doesn't exist?". "HOw did you (me, the OP) become atheist?" "Why would someone lie about something they claim to believe in?" "Why does god punish people for eternity?" "Why is there evil in the world?"

I'd like to point out its not like I said some magic words and she turned atheist. I helped her see things from my perspective, helped her deal with some new feelings, and taught her to think critically and keep an open mind. I told her before she settles on any particular belief she should be sure of the reasons why she believes it.

 

[Theofane]

We're already married, going on 4 years. My parents-in-law are very fond of me.

Oops! My bad!

 

[peggy sue]

We like to call this the No True Scotsman fallacy, and I'm sure its an unpleasant thought but Christians have become atheist and vice versa. I can't say whether she ever had a "personal encounter" with god but I can say she sincerely believed. Her fear for her immortal soul seemed genuine to me.

oh i'm sure it was about as genuine as many who repent and keep going back and doing the same thing over, its not true repentance as the bible teaches, its the one that the bible refers to as the dog returning to eat its vomit, or the washed pig returns to the mud. true fear of eternal damnation can never be removed, it may of seemed genuine, but as alot of Christians here there faith is not genuine, its simply following rituals and customs taught by their parents to follow. real faith will take you to the grave rather than denounce Christ or faith in His work on the cross

 

[salida]

I would love that child and would continue to pray for that she would return to God. True christians should accept everyone but it doesn't mean you have to agree.

 

[drich0150]

Hello all, I could use a little advice from any Christians with children, especially children who are engaged/married.

Here goes, I'm an atheist and have been since I was about 13. I met the woman who would become my wife about 4 years ago. WHen we began dating I knew she believed in Jesus and God even though she wasn't very religious (rarely went to church). I didn't hide the fact that I am atheist from her, I believe in honesty. She didn't seem to be bothered by this at all, she loves me unconditionally as I do her.

WE married after a year and maybe 6 months after that we ran into our first moral quandary. Without going into any great detail, she was afraid she was pregnant and not ready to be a mother. SHe wanted my opinion, and being honest I told her I would abort it if I were in her shoes, but I would support any decision she made. She knew she wasn't ready, but she didn't want to burn in hell for eternity. This led to our first conversation about my atheism and I gently introduced her to the possibility she was wrong about Jesus, god, hell, etc.

Flash forward over the next two years and she occasionally comes to me with religious questions about the soul and free will and the afterlife. I of course answer her as honestly as I can, until about 6 months ago she admits to me that she no longer believes in god. She sees the whole idea as silly and she can hardly believe she ever bought into it. We're both still very much in love and all the more happy for it.

THe problem is this, her parents are still very much catholic. She seems to think they would react very poorly if they found out she is atheist. So what do you guys think? If your child turned atheist, was obviously very happy, would you rather know about it or not? We aren't in any hurry to tell her folks. I wondered how you guys would react if it was your child. Is It important to know? EVen if your child Is happy and in love? Would it change your feelings for her/him? What about your feelings for their spouse? (ASsuming prior to this you thought he was the best person alive)?

That is why we are not not to unequally yoke ourselves with non believers. That said if she were my child, and I did what I was supposed to raising her then she is free to go with what ever I owed her and "sleep with the pigs" (it a parable, nothing against you specifically) if that is where her life decisions takes her, and i would wait and welcome her return. That is the Biblical view. The Catholic view will probably be alot different. It really depends on How Catholic.