You've heard the term: "The Lust of The Eye" (the desire to possess what we see or to have those things which have visual appeal). For me, this is a tough one. I am a very visual person, and this is embarrassing for me to admit, but I am vain. I know the definition of vain is: Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one's appearance, abilities, or worth. I don't have an excessively high opinion of my appearance (or at least I hope not), but I enjoy looking at myself. Seeing myself and taking in all of the details, the contrasts, and how the light hits the planes of my face and how it all comes together. Woah! That sounded completely self-obsessed, but I'm being honest because I know that this way of thinking is shameful in God's eyes and I want to change.
I don't only enjoy looking at my own beauty, but I also like to look at others beauty too (I'm not gay. It's strictly platonic). I just like seeing beautiful things just as we all like seeing beautiful landscapes. When I see someone who I consider beautiful I find myself thinking "Wow! She is just too pretty.", and wishing I could look closer to them, or I'll find myself trying to find similarities to them.
When I see something beautiful that catches my eye, it's like I end up in a trance. I can't break my eye away from the beauty, and if I do, I'll be thinking about it all day. The real problem for me is that, what I look like might be TOO important to me. I know that in this world, looks are one of the top priorities and it's everywhere! If I turn on the television there will be a model showing off one the latest trends in fashion. "This is one of the hottest trends of the fall. See how the fabric just drapes over her neckline." The host would commentate as the model gives the camera a nice smile with a confident twirl. "I just love how the denim jeans she's rocking gives her the illusion of more curves. And then she's got this edgy, rocker-chick haircut that just sets her apart from the crowd" The model flashes another smile and struts off of the catwalk. Turn to another channel and they're talking about what the latest trends are in hollywood; what Jennifer Lopez wore to the Grammy's; what shocking outfit Kim Kardashian wore on a night out on the town with Kanye West; What new selfie Rihanna posted on instagram, or how beautiful Taylor Swift looked in her new music video. I notice a pattern... Basically EVERY channel is talking about how someone LOOKS. It's emphasizing the importance of looks and not character. Everything is catered to getting us to fall prey to "The Lust of The Eye". The lust of the eye is powerful. There's this power behind it... This FORCE that makes me feel compelled to possess whatever it is that I see. If I go to Facebook or other sites on social media I will fimd that almost EVERYONE is trying to look and be like celebrities. Everyone is posting pictures and getting tons of likes just for looking good that I can't help but to compare myself. Since I can't help but see how many likes everyone else recieves, I can end up comparing myself unfavorably until I feel like I just can't keep up anymore.
I'm gonna get left behind. It leaves me in a desperate state of survival and I feel like people will not love me or respect me if I don't stay on my game. If I am not pretty enough, I will not survive in this world because then arrogant people will run all over me. Not being pretty enough= social death. It makes me feel like I'm dead. I start being envious, but I don't want to be. I try to fight the envy, but I can't help but to want to have what I see. Since these people who I secretly envy are actually arrogant, they will try to bring the envy and the intimidation out of me. This causes me fear because I can't help that my eyes are a slave to what I find beautiful. It leaves me feeling that I will forever be in bondage to the lust of my eyes and that I can never be content with myself in the presence of someone who I find more beautiful than myself. My eyes can cause me a lot of pain. I feel like a slave to my eyes. It all started because of vanity. I became a slave because I gained the evil knowledge (Like Eve did when she bit the apple) of knowing that I can look really good and looking really good makes me feel really good, until I start thinking about myself too much. I tried going a long time without looking in the mirror and without uploading pics to social media, but then I start feeling like since I am still young I should make the most of my looks while I still have them, right? I don't know what to do. I have so much anxiety because of my own vanity. I also admit that, yes, I do have an ego just like everyone else (I don't treat people bad) but when I see someone who arrogant and is more beautiful and thinks that they're better than me, I get angry and I think "I really don't like you". I don't like allowing others to have this control over me. I don't want to be vain. But it's all hypnotizing and it's easy to get lost back in it again. How do I overcome this? Should I stop using social media? How do I stop being entranced and threatened by others beauty? I know in the bible it says something about if you still have a love for this world, then the love of the father is not in you. I don't want to be like this world and I want God to change me. I want to be able to be content with myself next that person is who more beautiful (but they're also arrogant too) without feel scared, threatened and depressed or angry. I know I sound horrible and I desperately want to change. I know there's a problem.
I don't only enjoy looking at my own beauty, but I also like to look at others beauty too (I'm not gay. It's strictly platonic). I just like seeing beautiful things just as we all like seeing beautiful landscapes. When I see someone who I consider beautiful I find myself thinking "Wow! She is just too pretty.", and wishing I could look closer to them, or I'll find myself trying to find similarities to them.
When I see something beautiful that catches my eye, it's like I end up in a trance. I can't break my eye away from the beauty, and if I do, I'll be thinking about it all day. The real problem for me is that, what I look like might be TOO important to me. I know that in this world, looks are one of the top priorities and it's everywhere! If I turn on the television there will be a model showing off one the latest trends in fashion. "This is one of the hottest trends of the fall. See how the fabric just drapes over her neckline." The host would commentate as the model gives the camera a nice smile with a confident twirl. "I just love how the denim jeans she's rocking gives her the illusion of more curves. And then she's got this edgy, rocker-chick haircut that just sets her apart from the crowd" The model flashes another smile and struts off of the catwalk. Turn to another channel and they're talking about what the latest trends are in hollywood; what Jennifer Lopez wore to the Grammy's; what shocking outfit Kim Kardashian wore on a night out on the town with Kanye West; What new selfie Rihanna posted on instagram, or how beautiful Taylor Swift looked in her new music video. I notice a pattern... Basically EVERY channel is talking about how someone LOOKS. It's emphasizing the importance of looks and not character. Everything is catered to getting us to fall prey to "The Lust of The Eye". The lust of the eye is powerful. There's this power behind it... This FORCE that makes me feel compelled to possess whatever it is that I see. If I go to Facebook or other sites on social media I will fimd that almost EVERYONE is trying to look and be like celebrities. Everyone is posting pictures and getting tons of likes just for looking good that I can't help but to compare myself. Since I can't help but see how many likes everyone else recieves, I can end up comparing myself unfavorably until I feel like I just can't keep up anymore.
I'm gonna get left behind. It leaves me in a desperate state of survival and I feel like people will not love me or respect me if I don't stay on my game. If I am not pretty enough, I will not survive in this world because then arrogant people will run all over me. Not being pretty enough= social death. It makes me feel like I'm dead. I start being envious, but I don't want to be. I try to fight the envy, but I can't help but to want to have what I see. Since these people who I secretly envy are actually arrogant, they will try to bring the envy and the intimidation out of me. This causes me fear because I can't help that my eyes are a slave to what I find beautiful. It leaves me feeling that I will forever be in bondage to the lust of my eyes and that I can never be content with myself in the presence of someone who I find more beautiful than myself. My eyes can cause me a lot of pain. I feel like a slave to my eyes. It all started because of vanity. I became a slave because I gained the evil knowledge (Like Eve did when she bit the apple) of knowing that I can look really good and looking really good makes me feel really good, until I start thinking about myself too much. I tried going a long time without looking in the mirror and without uploading pics to social media, but then I start feeling like since I am still young I should make the most of my looks while I still have them, right? I don't know what to do. I have so much anxiety because of my own vanity. I also admit that, yes, I do have an ego just like everyone else (I don't treat people bad) but when I see someone who arrogant and is more beautiful and thinks that they're better than me, I get angry and I think "I really don't like you". I don't like allowing others to have this control over me. I don't want to be vain. But it's all hypnotizing and it's easy to get lost back in it again. How do I overcome this? Should I stop using social media? How do I stop being entranced and threatened by others beauty? I know in the bible it says something about if you still have a love for this world, then the love of the father is not in you. I don't want to be like this world and I want God to change me. I want to be able to be content with myself next that person is who more beautiful (but they're also arrogant too) without feel scared, threatened and depressed or angry. I know I sound horrible and I desperately want to change. I know there's a problem.
