totallylovedbygod

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Nov 17, 2022
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My Testimony



"But God"... a story of Amazing Grace


Ephesians 2

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.



I pray that my testimony touches your heart! My name is Keith, but everyone knows me as KK. The first thing to say is that I am just an ordinary person; I am not a pastor; I have no special gifts or abilities: I am what I am because God has showered His grace upon me.


Well, I had better start at the beginning. I was born in Bradford, Yorkshire, U.K., and then lived most of my life in Morecambe, a beautiful seaside town on the Lancashire coast. My childhood was difficult. My parents were great, but they were consumed with work and as I spent much time on my own, I gained a very rebellious and angry streak from an early age. I was a very troubled and restless child. . .I craved attention. My parents tried everything, I had serious issues relating to a childhood stammer, which led to bullying. I was in and out of speech therapy/relaxation classes
.

Sent to Sunday school, I listened to the stories of Jesus and thought that they were just stories. My favourite hymn was "There was a Green Hill Far Away". This hymn said that He died to save us all. "Great," I thought, "Jesus died - I can live as I want."


I was in the church; I even did the collection for upstairs at the church. Sad to say, I was a Judas-- not just from the church, but from my parents. By the age of 14, I was placed in the lowest class at school; I was a very nasty and angry person; a sinner who had all the appearance of a good person, but was a devil on the inside. . . in all my churchgoing, I have never heard the true Gospel that Jesus saves personally.



At school, I was known as trouble; teachers thought I had no hope, but my parents didn't give up-- they fought for me to be placed in a higher class. They finally got their wish and I was placed in Class 4S, along with two very special people, both whom are close friends today, David and Andrew, the person whom God used to bring me to faith.​


As I said, I was trouble at school: if there was trouble in class, it usually revolved around me; Keith had said or done something to upset them. Well, I created havoc in class, tormenting virtually everyone: I was a mixture of Dennis the Menace and Homer Simpson, loveable and dumb but just a pain in the bum: well. . . except for Andrew.
.
Everything I tried to do to him, it didn't upset him at all! What is it with this guy? Why is he so calm? OK, he's a Christian; well, so am I! I go to church, so what's the big deal? Also, we had R.E. (Religious Education) in our school, led by Mr Curnow. I just sat the back of the class and mocked him. He said at the end of the class, "Jesus loves you and is the Answer!" "What?" I thought, "Why doesn't he tell it to us through all the class, if Jesus is so good?" Many years later I had the pleasure of meeting him and his wife, who was my French teacher; also, my history teacher, Mr Waterhouse, who were all Believers-- the ones I had mocked were Christians.

Andrew was getting under my skin; he invited me to these meetings, and on a Saturday night! "What, you go to these Bible meetings on a Saturday? You are a fanatic, man!" One day he invited me: and to be honest, just to stop him asking me, I said "OK, but look, I have to be home by 10, the football is on."


So, on Saturday, the 15th of February, I set out to Moorlands Gospel Hall in Lancaster. Meeting me at the bus station, we made our way to the meeting. It was different to everything I had ever been to: this was lively, hymns were sung truly and powerfully, people stood up and told how Jesus had changed their lives, and finally Victor Jack (an evangelist) stood up and preached. He said "If Jesus came tonight, where would you spend eternity? You are a guilty sinner, condemned by your sin; but Jesus has provided salvation through the Cross." For the first time I had heard the true Gospel. Victor said he was going into a side room, anyone who would like to talk with him, please do so. I remember closing my eyes-- the curtain was raised; the light went on! I turned to Andrew, "I want to go into that room!" I got there first, just before someone else; this was something I just had to do. Victor took me through "Journey into Life" (tract by Norman Warren). I said the prayer, and trusted Christ. My prayer was sincere. Something happened that night-- something life changing! Thanks, Andrew and Victor!


I remember going home: I shouted out in glee, "I've become a Christian!" My parents weren't impressed. "It will wear off," they said. My form teacher had said to Andrew, "Keith will never get saved." Things did change. I went to church and got baptised, but still had many problems. . . but I knew something had happened-- I had new affections and new interests; I loved reading the Bible and praying.


For the first 10 years of my Faith walk I went up and down, but I still made progress. But I was now to enter the "wilderness years". For nearly 15 years from 1986-2001, I went off the rails completely. Not terrible sin, but just rebellion and disobedience: no prayer, no church, living in the world; yet through all that time God Who had saved me, held me.

He was drawing me back to himself.

During my wilderness years, I saw many things and met many people, I wish I hadn't. My life was apart from God, I was out of work, depressed and very alone. During that time, I thought about suicide and was on anti-depressants, Ciprail 15mg, eventually I was able to stop taking them, but it took time and prayer.

I was and am a modern-day prodigal, one more thing I saw.

On the 11th May 1985, I sat in the stand at my home town football played (Bradford City), a fire broke out in the stand where I was sitting (right behind me). Five minutes earlier, something had stopped me going to the toilet at the back of the stand, it was God preventing me, if I had gone, then I would have been trapped by the fire, again it was the hand of God on my life.

I do not tell you these things to make you think, look at Keith, but to let you know that Christ is everything, he is faithful, despite me, despite my failings. He is and always will be ..MY LORD AND MY GOD.


But God... a story of amazing grace!

My wilderness years were between 1986-2001. Yes, I did go to church on occasion, not the best one to be honest... I picked up my Bible on occasion and I prayed, but not with same love and fervour I once had.


Something was happening, and the Holy Spirit was speaking. At this time, I was back home with mum after living away for a long time. I had put all my effort into trying to do it my way. I had a computer and through that I came into contact with a Christian who challenged me to repent and to come back to God. My answer was that although God would forgive, HE would never trust me and would never forget MY sin.


I remember one day being in my bedroom, when I broke down in tears. The Lord restored me! He is truly the God of the second chance, and I was a prodigal who had come home.

I found a church and settled there, but my computer turned out to be my enemy. I was led away by my own lusts and the devil, and made friends with a so-called female "pastor" in the USA. Being very foolish, I moved there in 2004 and got married, losing not only my testimony, but also my mother, the respect of my family and nearly my life. The three years spent in America were a sobering experience. I blame no one but myself, but again God was gracious and merciful, giving me the mercy and grace that I didn't deserve.


Thankfully, I was able to spend three months at my brothers in Canada, taking lots of time to restore my relationship with him and most importantly the Lord. I then returned to the UK and went back to my old church, and they looked aghast when I turned up, and I heard lots of "Well, I told you so."


Over the next four years, the Lord restored me. I thought that was it for me, but God had another surprise for me. I thought I would not be moving again. Relationships tool a back burner, as I remember, and after I had the latest let down I said to the Lord, "No relationships and no internet relationships ever Lord."


The summer of 2011 was a time of great fellowship between me and the Lord. I spent hours in prayer, fellowship was sweet, and I also had a website, which was getting hits from all over the world, including Nanjing China. Wow China... that's great, but I gave it little thought.


I had an old email, so I decided to move to Gmail, and told these few people on Hotmail that I was moving, never expecting to receive a reply. I did, from a lady who was in China. She didn't know if I was a sister or a brother, or a strange person. I thought she was the person that viewed the site, and thought, "Hey that's cool. She wants to be friends. Wow a Chinese friend!!"


Over the summer of 11, something happened. I didn't hear from my friend for a few weeks, but then she wanted to skype. "Okay, I thought... we can see what the other looks like, and that will put her off for good."


We soon found ourselves chatting every day. Something was happening... No come on Lord!, are you joking with me? We all know the end of the story.


As autumn came around things moved quickly. Our friendship had deepened, and on October 1st, God spoke to Helen clearly about me being her husband. On the following Tuesday, He spoke to me about her being my wife. I remember it clearly; it was early morning and He spoke clearly and decisively.


But I had just moved into my caravan and I was settled. What did my family think? My niece went bonkers and my brother refused to talk to me for two weeks. Everything was becoming obvious, and as we both prayed and sought the Lord, He made it even clearer. Obstacles were removed and I bought the ticket to China on 29 feb 2012. I went in June, lost my luggage (fortunately I had tag and track, and they found it) and was the last one off the plane. Helen must have thought I wasn't coming, but we met and things changed forever.


We became engaged in China and I returned after a month to the UK. My static had to be sold, along with my furniture, which the Lord graciously blessed.


Now I live in China. My life here is not easy, the language is still a mystery to me, but I am thankful to my two wonderful girls, my dear wife and our special daughter.


But God is my story. I was dead totally dead... not just sick. I had no hope. Spiritually we aren't sick... we are dead, in rebellion against God and His ways, lost to His wonderful grace and truth, and under His wrath.


I could do nothing to help myself. You see we are all like that. We are dead spiritually, and it takes God to step in and to spiritually activate us. Someone has said it's all about grace.. amazing grace to be exact:


G - God's
R - Riches
A - At
C - Christ's
E - Expense



I have been saved by God's grace, and it's all about His amazing grace. God has intervened in my life. BUT GOD... because of this I have been redeemed. I have nothing to offer to God except my sins, but what He offered to me was His love, mercy and grace, all of which was totally underserved.


I hope what I have shared is used by God to open someone's eyes to the Saviour, who I love and treasure, to His finished work on the cross. It is because of this that I can sing the words:


Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.

T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.


Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.


God bless you,

Keith
 

gospel2456

Newbie
Aug 25, 2012
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✟768.00
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Single
My Testimony



"But God"... a story of Amazing Grace


Ephesians 2

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.



I pray that my testimony touches your heart! My name is Keith, but everyone knows me as KK. The first thing to say is that I am just an ordinary person; I am not a pastor; I have no special gifts or abilities: I am what I am because God has showered His grace upon me.


Well, I had better start at the beginning. I was born in Bradford, Yorkshire, U.K., and then lived most of my life in Morecambe, a beautiful seaside town on the Lancashire coast. My childhood was difficult. My parents were great, but they were consumed with work and as I spent much time on my own, I gained a very rebellious and angry streak from an early age. I was a very troubled and restless child. . .I craved attention. My parents tried everything, I had serious issues relating to a childhood stammer, which led to bullying. I was in and out of speech therapy/relaxation classes
.

Sent to Sunday school, I listened to the stories of Jesus and thought that they were just stories. My favourite hymn was "There was a Green Hill Far Away". This hymn said that He died to save us all. "Great," I thought, "Jesus died - I can live as I want."


I was in the church; I even did the collection for upstairs at the church. Sad to say, I was a Judas-- not just from the church, but from my parents. By the age of 14, I was placed in the lowest class at school; I was a very nasty and angry person; a sinner who had all the appearance of a good person, but was a devil on the inside. . . in all my churchgoing, I have never heard the true Gospel that Jesus saves personally.



At school, I was known as trouble; teachers thought I had no hope, but my parents didn't give up-- they fought for me to be placed in a higher class. They finally got their wish and I was placed in Class 4S, along with two very special people, both whom are close friends today, David and Andrew, the person whom God used to bring me to faith.​


As I said, I was trouble at school: if there was trouble in class, it usually revolved around me; Keith had said or done something to upset them. Well, I created havoc in class, tormenting virtually everyone: I was a mixture of Dennis the Menace and Homer Simpson, loveable and dumb but just a pain in the bum: well. . . except for Andrew.
.
Everything I tried to do to him, it didn't upset him at all! What is it with this guy? Why is he so calm? OK, he's a Christian; well, so am I! I go to church, so what's the big deal? Also, we had R.E. (Religious Education) in our school, led by Mr Curnow. I just sat the back of the class and mocked him. He said at the end of the class, "Jesus loves you and is the Answer!" "What?" I thought, "Why doesn't he tell it to us through all the class, if Jesus is so good?" Many years later I had the pleasure of meeting him and his wife, who was my French teacher; also, my history teacher, Mr Waterhouse, who were all Believers-- the ones I had mocked were Christians.

Andrew was getting under my skin; he invited me to these meetings, and on a Saturday night! "What, you go to these Bible meetings on a Saturday? You are a fanatic, man!" One day he invited me: and to be honest, just to stop him asking me, I said "OK, but look, I have to be home by 10, the football is on."


So, on Saturday, the 15th of February, I set out to Moorlands Gospel Hall in Lancaster. Meeting me at the bus station, we made our way to the meeting. It was different to everything I had ever been to: this was lively, hymns were sung truly and powerfully, people stood up and told how Jesus had changed their lives, and finally Victor Jack (an evangelist) stood up and preached. He said "If Jesus came tonight, where would you spend eternity? You are a guilty sinner, condemned by your sin; but Jesus has provided salvation through the Cross." For the first time I had heard the true Gospel. Victor said he was going into a side room, anyone who would like to talk with him, please do so. I remember closing my eyes-- the curtain was raised; the light went on! I turned to Andrew, "I want to go into that room!" I got there first, just before someone else; this was something I just had to do. Victor took me through "Journey into Life" (tract by Norman Warren). I said the prayer, and trusted Christ. My prayer was sincere. Something happened that night-- something life changing! Thanks, Andrew and Victor!


I remember going home: I shouted out in glee, "I've become a Christian!" My parents weren't impressed. "It will wear off," they said. My form teacher had said to Andrew, "Keith will never get saved." Things did change. I went to church and got baptised, but still had many problems. . . but I knew something had happened-- I had new affections and new interests; I loved reading the Bible and praying.


For the first 10 years of my Faith walk I went up and down, but I still made progress. But I was now to enter the "wilderness years". For nearly 15 years from 1986-2001, I went off the rails completely. Not terrible sin, but just rebellion and disobedience: no prayer, no church, living in the world; yet through all that time God Who had saved me, held me.

He was drawing me back to himself.

During my wilderness years, I saw many things and met many people, I wish I hadn't. My life was apart from God, I was out of work, depressed and very alone. During that time, I thought about suicide and was on anti-depressants, Ciprail 15mg, eventually I was able to stop taking them, but it took time and prayer.

I was and am a modern-day prodigal, one more thing I saw.

On the 11th May 1985, I sat in the stand at my home town football played (Bradford City), a fire broke out in the stand where I was sitting (right behind me). Five minutes earlier, something had stopped me going to the toilet at the back of the stand, it was God preventing me, if I had gone, then I would have been trapped by the fire, again it was the hand of God on my life.

I do not tell you these things to make you think, look at Keith, but to let you know that Christ is everything, he is faithful, despite me, despite my failings. He is and always will be ..MY LORD AND MY GOD.


But God... a story of amazing grace!

My wilderness years were between 1986-2001. Yes, I did go to church on occasion, not the best one to be honest... I picked up my Bible on occasion and I prayed, but not with same love and fervour I once had.


Something was happening, and the Holy Spirit was speaking. At this time, I was back home with mum after living away for a long time. I had put all my effort into trying to do it my way. I had a computer and through that I came into contact with a Christian who challenged me to repent and to come back to God. My answer was that although God would forgive, HE would never trust me and would never forget MY sin.


I remember one day being in my bedroom, when I broke down in tears. The Lord restored me! He is truly the God of the second chance, and I was a prodigal who had come home.

I found a church and settled there, but my computer turned out to be my enemy. I was led away by my own lusts and the devil, and made friends with a so-called female "pastor" in the USA. Being very foolish, I moved there in 2004 and got married, losing not only my testimony, but also my mother, the respect of my family and nearly my life. The three years spent in America were a sobering experience. I blame no one but myself, but again God was gracious and merciful, giving me the mercy and grace that I didn't deserve.


Thankfully, I was able to spend three months at my brothers in Canada, taking lots of time to restore my relationship with him and most importantly the Lord. I then returned to the UK and went back to my old church, and they looked aghast when I turned up, and I heard lots of "Well, I told you so."


Over the next four years, the Lord restored me. I thought that was it for me, but God had another surprise for me. I thought I would not be moving again. Relationships tool a back burner, as I remember, and after I had the latest let down I said to the Lord, "No relationships and no internet relationships ever Lord."


The summer of 2011 was a time of great fellowship between me and the Lord. I spent hours in prayer, fellowship was sweet, and I also had a website, which was getting hits from all over the world, including Nanjing China. Wow China... that's great, but I gave it little thought.


I had an old email, so I decided to move to Gmail, and told these few people on Hotmail that I was moving, never expecting to receive a reply. I did, from a lady who was in China. She didn't know if I was a sister or a brother, or a strange person. I thought she was the person that viewed the site, and thought, "Hey that's cool. She wants to be friends. Wow a Chinese friend!!"


Over the summer of 11, something happened. I didn't hear from my friend for a few weeks, but then she wanted to skype. "Okay, I thought... we can see what the other looks like, and that will put her off for good."


We soon found ourselves chatting every day. Something was happening... No come on Lord!, are you joking with me? We all know the end of the story.


As autumn came around things moved quickly. Our friendship had deepened, and on October 1st, God spoke to Helen clearly about me being her husband. On the following Tuesday, He spoke to me about her being my wife. I remember it clearly; it was early morning and He spoke clearly and decisively.


But I had just moved into my caravan and I was settled. What did my family think? My niece went bonkers and my brother refused to talk to me for two weeks. Everything was becoming obvious, and as we both prayed and sought the Lord, He made it even clearer. Obstacles were removed and I bought the ticket to China on 29 feb 2012. I went in June, lost my luggage (fortunately I had tag and track, and they found it) and was the last one off the plane. Helen must have thought I wasn't coming, but we met and things changed forever.


We became engaged in China and I returned after a month to the UK. My static had to be sold, along with my furniture, which the Lord graciously blessed.


Now I live in China. My life here is not easy, the language is still a mystery to me, but I am thankful to my two wonderful girls, my dear wife and our special daughter.


But God is my story. I was dead totally dead... not just sick. I had no hope. Spiritually we aren't sick... we are dead, in rebellion against God and His ways, lost to His wonderful grace and truth, and under His wrath.


I could do nothing to help myself. You see we are all like that. We are dead spiritually, and it takes God to step in and to spiritually activate us. Someone has said it's all about grace.. amazing grace to be exact:


G - God's
R - Riches
A - At
C - Christ's
E - Expense



I have been saved by God's grace, and it's all about His amazing grace. God has intervened in my life. BUT GOD... because of this I have been redeemed. I have nothing to offer to God except my sins, but what He offered to me was His love, mercy and grace, all of which was totally underserved.


I hope what I have shared is used by God to open someone's eyes to the Saviour, who I love and treasure, to His finished work on the cross. It is because of this that I can sing the words:


Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.

T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.


Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.


God bless you,

Keith
Amazing story! Sounds very similar to mine in the beginning. I came to Christ in 2012 and when I got saved I too felt different and a change. I too fell away from 2016-2019. During those years I as well was depressed, took some medications for help, and wanted to end it all, but I did not. I realized as time went on, even now that medications like that don't help as I know only God be only one heal. I still deal with depression & anxiety, but not as bad as those years. I had a discussion with co-worker in 2019, which brought me back in faith in believing in God. I was not fully in the faith, and doubt some things in Bible. in that same year later in 2019, I too got myself in a bad and toxic relationship. in 2022 I lost a best friend in a car accident, and my dad to leukemia. I believe these events let me closer to God as I had the desire and hunger for seeking out the truth. I came to realize with my research that the Bible is 100% truth and inspired by God, and learned many other truths. I too got told who I am suppose to be with, which was in 2012, 6 months or so after being saved. It was about how she will only have 1 year left to live, (In my mind I was like great, I'll be with someone and then they will die) but then God said "I'll use you to heal her", which would begin our ministry of healing. I'm still waiting on this promise, and I know it's true cause there are many things he said that would happen, which has happened. 2018/2019 was when I started seeing the prophecy start to happen. Anyways, thank you for sharing your testimony, very encouraging to see someone that has similar circumstances.
 
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