• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

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My Testimony of Hope

Samaritan Woman

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This thread is about offering hope to those with mental illness and who have experienced deep trauma via my testimony of illness and life experience.

To briefly introduce myself, I am a 42 year old single woman who was diagnosed bipolar over 20 years ago; I was only recently diagnosed as also having OCD within the last five years. At one point I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by two different psychiatrists. While I am on five meds to successfully manage all my symptoms, I consider myself an emotionally healthy and stable person who maintains close friendships with those who are functional and stable people as well. My life is drama free.

Some of my bipolar symptoms are severe – I am easily prone to psychosis and catatonia, both of which are more prevalent in schizophrenics. Additionally, my OCD symptoms and mania can feed into one another, making both illnesses worse.

My father was very narcissistic who beat my face while verbally and emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even into early adulthood; he in general terrorized me and stripped me of an identity and filled me with fear and shame. On top of that, he was sexually inappropriate. My mother drank during my teenage years but fortunately they divorced when I was around 30 (she's great now!) We went to a legalistic church every Sunday which fostered deep hate, resentment and bitterness within me; fortunately I still got saved at 24 when I had decided to throw myself off a bridge – that intention scared me so bad that I ultimately sought the Lord.

Over the decades I tried therapy/counseling but it never worked. What ultimately healed me was fostering deep intimacy with and trust in the Lord by learning about His nature and character through intensive study of His word. I needed a rock to stabilize me, someone to whom I could vent my hate and anger to along with share my deepest fears and insecurities; He didn't judge me when I confessed my pride. I don't care how educated a therapist is – he/she can never get in another person's head. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of that; He has greatly healed my soul/psyche and deep wounds. While there is still some garbage left to address, in general I am SO much better and happy. Praise God!!
 

Jeshu

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This thread is about offering hope to those with mental illness and who have experienced deep trauma via my testimony of illness and life experience.

To briefly introduce myself, I am a 42 year old single woman who was diagnosed bipolar over 20 years ago; I was only recently diagnosed as also having OCD within the last five years. At one point I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by two different psychiatrists. While I am on five meds to successfully manage all my symptoms, I consider myself an emotionally healthy and stable person who maintains close friendships with those who are functional and stable people as well. My life is drama free.

Some of my bipolar symptoms are severe – I am easily prone to psychosis and catatonia, both of which are more prevalent in schizophrenics. Additionally, my OCD symptoms and mania can feed into one another, making both illnesses worse.

My father was very narcissistic who beat my face while verbally and emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even into early adulthood; he in general terrorized me and stripped me of an identity and filled me with fear and shame. On top of that, he was sexually inappropriate. My mother drank during my teenage years but fortunately they divorced when I was around 30 (she's great now!) We went to a legalistic church every Sunday which fostered deep hate, resentment and bitterness within me; fortunately I still got saved at 24 when I had decided to throw myself off a bridge – that intention scared me so bad that I ultimately sought the Lord.

Over the decades I tried therapy/counseling but it never worked. What ultimately healed me was fostering deep intimacy with and trust in the Lord by learning about His nature and character through intensive study of His word. I needed a rock to stabilize me, someone to whom I could vent my hate and anger to along with share my deepest fears and insecurities; He didn't judge me when I confessed my pride. I don't care how educated a therapist is – he/she can never get in another person's head. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of that; He has greatly healed my soul/psyche and deep wounds. While there is still some garbage left to address, in general I am SO much better and happy. Praise God!!

Great hearing your testimony i have also been diagnosed with bipolar as well as Schizophrenia and i suffered a violent sexual assault at the age of 11 which caused me to develop complex P.T.S.D. i've had e.c.t done to break me out of years of depression and tried almost all the psych medications to find some help with my psychoses, rages and depression. For years i was in and out of the hospital. In the end i stabilised myself through an intimate relationship with Jesus through the Word, and just like has happened with you, happened to me, i have greatly stabilised and improved my symptoms. i also finally found some medications that helped me get over the worst of my depression and keep my psychoses at bay.

Good on you for building on Jesus He is The Rock we want to build our dwelling place on, especially when we are mentally ill.

Peace.
 
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BookofMatt

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I'll be second to thank you for your testimony, the courage to share it and congratulations for maintaining your stability. I was diagnosed with bipolar with psychotic features and borderline personality disorder a few years ago and also went through many trials and tribulations of numerous medications and hospitalizations; though I have a manageable cocktail of medicine nowadays and good therapy, it was being saved at 25 which has truly given me a stability like no other.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
 
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Samaritan Woman

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Great hearing your testimony i have also been diagnosed with bipolar as well as Schizophrenia and i suffered a violent sexual assault at the age of 11 which caused me to develop complex P.T.S.D. i've had e.c.t done to break me out of years of depression and tried almost all the psych medications to find some help with my psychoses, rages and depression. For years i was in and out of the hospital. In the end i stabilised myself through an intimate relationship with Jesus through the Word, and just like has happened with you, happened to me, i have greatly stabilised and improved my symptoms. i also finally found some medications that helped me get over the worst of my depression and keep my psychoses at bay.

Good on you for building on Jesus He is The Rock we want to build our dwelling place on, especially when we are mentally ill.

Peace.

Thank you for sharing YOUR testimony!!
 
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Confused1980

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Thank you for sharing. I am happy that you have found sone comfort in your struggles.
This thread is about offering hope to those with mental illness and who have experienced deep trauma via my testimony of illness and life experience.

To briefly introduce myself, I am a 42 year old single woman who was diagnosed bipolar over 20 years ago; I was only recently diagnosed as also having OCD within the last five years. At one point I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by two different psychiatrists. While I am on five meds to successfully manage all my symptoms, I consider myself an emotionally healthy and stable person who maintains close friendships with those who are functional and stable people as well. My life is drama free.

Some of my bipolar symptoms are severe – I am easily prone to psychosis and catatonia, both of which are more prevalent in schizophrenics. Additionally, my OCD symptoms and mania can feed into one another, making both illnesses worse.

My father was very narcissistic who beat my face while verbally and emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even into early adulthood; he in general terrorized me and stripped me of an identity and filled me with fear and shame. On top of that, he was sexually inappropriate. My mother drank during my teenage years but fortunately they divorced when I was around 30 (she's great now!) We went to a legalistic church every Sunday which fostered deep hate, resentment and bitterness within me; fortunately I still got saved at 24 when I had decided to throw myself off a bridge – that intention scared me so bad that I ultimately sought the Lord.

Over the decades I tried therapy/counseling but it never worked. What ultimately healed me was fostering deep intimacy with and trust in the Lord by learning about His nature and character through intensive study of His word. I needed a rock to stabilize me, someone to whom I could vent my hate and anger to along with share my deepest fears and insecurities; He didn't judge me when I confessed my pride. I don't care how educated a therapist is – he/she can never get in another person's head. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of that; He has greatly healed my soul/psyche and deep wounds. While there is still some garbage left to address, in general I am SO much better and happy. Praise God!!
 
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Samaritan Woman

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Thank you for sharing. I am happy that you have found sone comfort in your struggles.

I'm glad you enjoyed my testimony - people with my type of past and mental health diagnoses are typically stereotyped as "forever dysfunctional" and without hope; with the Lord such labels from the world can be nullified and His children can be made new from within.

BTW, I noticed that you are a "seeker". Hopefully the questions you have will be answered from the believers on this forum.
 
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