This thread is about offering hope to those with mental illness and who have experienced deep trauma via my testimony of illness and life experience.
To briefly introduce myself, I am a 42 year old single woman who was diagnosed bipolar over 20 years ago; I was only recently diagnosed as also having OCD within the last five years. At one point I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by two different psychiatrists. While I am on five meds to successfully manage all my symptoms, I consider myself an emotionally healthy and stable person who maintains close friendships with those who are functional and stable people as well. My life is drama free.
Some of my bipolar symptoms are severe – I am easily prone to psychosis and catatonia, both of which are more prevalent in schizophrenics. Additionally, my OCD symptoms and mania can feed into one another, making both illnesses worse.
My father was very narcissistic who beat my face while verbally and emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even into early adulthood; he in general terrorized me and stripped me of an identity and filled me with fear and shame. On top of that, he was sexually inappropriate. My mother drank during my teenage years but fortunately they divorced when I was around 30 (she's great now!) We went to a legalistic church every Sunday which fostered deep hate, resentment and bitterness within me; fortunately I still got saved at 24 when I had decided to throw myself off a bridge – that intention scared me so bad that I ultimately sought the Lord.
Over the decades I tried therapy/counseling but it never worked. What ultimately healed me was fostering deep intimacy with and trust in the Lord by learning about His nature and character through intensive study of His word. I needed a rock to stabilize me, someone to whom I could vent my hate and anger to along with share my deepest fears and insecurities; He didn't judge me when I confessed my pride. I don't care how educated a therapist is – he/she can never get in another person's head. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of that; He has greatly healed my soul/psyche and deep wounds. While there is still some garbage left to address, in general I am SO much better and happy. Praise God!!
To briefly introduce myself, I am a 42 year old single woman who was diagnosed bipolar over 20 years ago; I was only recently diagnosed as also having OCD within the last five years. At one point I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by two different psychiatrists. While I am on five meds to successfully manage all my symptoms, I consider myself an emotionally healthy and stable person who maintains close friendships with those who are functional and stable people as well. My life is drama free.
Some of my bipolar symptoms are severe – I am easily prone to psychosis and catatonia, both of which are more prevalent in schizophrenics. Additionally, my OCD symptoms and mania can feed into one another, making both illnesses worse.
My father was very narcissistic who beat my face while verbally and emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even into early adulthood; he in general terrorized me and stripped me of an identity and filled me with fear and shame. On top of that, he was sexually inappropriate. My mother drank during my teenage years but fortunately they divorced when I was around 30 (she's great now!) We went to a legalistic church every Sunday which fostered deep hate, resentment and bitterness within me; fortunately I still got saved at 24 when I had decided to throw myself off a bridge – that intention scared me so bad that I ultimately sought the Lord.
Over the decades I tried therapy/counseling but it never worked. What ultimately healed me was fostering deep intimacy with and trust in the Lord by learning about His nature and character through intensive study of His word. I needed a rock to stabilize me, someone to whom I could vent my hate and anger to along with share my deepest fears and insecurities; He didn't judge me when I confessed my pride. I don't care how educated a therapist is – he/she can never get in another person's head. Only the Holy Spirit is capable of that; He has greatly healed my soul/psyche and deep wounds. While there is still some garbage left to address, in general I am SO much better and happy. Praise God!!