It's been hard for me to gain weight most of my adult life. I am 5'1" 33 years old, and 105 lbs..............Some of you may think that's a good thing, not as good as you may think. It has taken me roughly six months to go from 98 lbs to 105, and my goal weight is at LEAST 110.
It takes me months to gain weight and at the least bit of illness or stress, it only takes a week to lose it.
Due to a lot of stress, my lowest weight was 85 lbs. I looked into the mirror one day and sobbed for I didn't know the person looking back at me. To this day, I have pictures and my legs looked like toothpicks, my eyes were sunken, I just looked like skin stretched over bone.
Earlier this year, I was hospitalized for medication adjustment and doctors asked me if I was anorexic. I weighed 98 the day of admission. I begged them to put me on something that would help me gain weight. They even went as far as putting me on Ensure during my stay.
A couple times in my life, I found myself homeless and hungry. After gathering a few dollars, I was able to buy a jar of peanutbutter after not eating for a few days. I was never so glad to see a jar of peanutbutter in my life. The downside was, I had to ration it for I didn't know when it would be that I would get another bite to eat. That jar of peanutbutter lasted me four days. So many times in between those scoops of peanutbutter I would sit and dream of just having one good meal to eat.
"Looks" have become such an issue in this world, that people are forgetting what's REALLY important. You don't have to look like barbie and ken to be beautiful. It's what you have on the inside that matters most, and from experience, when you are satisfied with what's on the inside, everyone is going see your beauty from the inside and out.
When I first came to CF, (a year ago), my self-esteem wasn't the greatest. I was down on myself for being so under-weight and people were trying to get me to post a pic, but I was scared to. I finally posted one with my head down, so all you saw was mostly my hair and my puppy. After those people let me know that what I had on the inside is what made me beautiful, and that's without seeing me, I then got more confident. I then posted another pic and was looking sideways at the camera, but more of me showed. Now, I look straight on and no matter what, I am me. God didn't put me on this earth to look good for everyone else. He put me here for His reasons.
Even on those days when my weight drops and I feel less confident, I keep my head up and push forward. It's not my looks that makes me, it's my personality and my heart. Sure, I still want to weigh more, but I'm thankful for the poundage that I do have.
My point? When you get down on yourself, think about what's REALLY IMPORTANT.
When you feel guilty for eating, please do me a favor...........
Be thankful for being blessed with the food you've been provided for some would give anything to have just one bite off your plate.
When you feel bad for gaining a pound or two, don't sweat it. God made you in His image and regardless of how much you weigh, you are beautiful!
Wether you be under-weight, over-weight, or just right.............Just do your best and let God do the rest!
It takes me months to gain weight and at the least bit of illness or stress, it only takes a week to lose it.
Due to a lot of stress, my lowest weight was 85 lbs. I looked into the mirror one day and sobbed for I didn't know the person looking back at me. To this day, I have pictures and my legs looked like toothpicks, my eyes were sunken, I just looked like skin stretched over bone.
Earlier this year, I was hospitalized for medication adjustment and doctors asked me if I was anorexic. I weighed 98 the day of admission. I begged them to put me on something that would help me gain weight. They even went as far as putting me on Ensure during my stay.
A couple times in my life, I found myself homeless and hungry. After gathering a few dollars, I was able to buy a jar of peanutbutter after not eating for a few days. I was never so glad to see a jar of peanutbutter in my life. The downside was, I had to ration it for I didn't know when it would be that I would get another bite to eat. That jar of peanutbutter lasted me four days. So many times in between those scoops of peanutbutter I would sit and dream of just having one good meal to eat.
"Looks" have become such an issue in this world, that people are forgetting what's REALLY important. You don't have to look like barbie and ken to be beautiful. It's what you have on the inside that matters most, and from experience, when you are satisfied with what's on the inside, everyone is going see your beauty from the inside and out.
When I first came to CF, (a year ago), my self-esteem wasn't the greatest. I was down on myself for being so under-weight and people were trying to get me to post a pic, but I was scared to. I finally posted one with my head down, so all you saw was mostly my hair and my puppy. After those people let me know that what I had on the inside is what made me beautiful, and that's without seeing me, I then got more confident. I then posted another pic and was looking sideways at the camera, but more of me showed. Now, I look straight on and no matter what, I am me. God didn't put me on this earth to look good for everyone else. He put me here for His reasons.
Even on those days when my weight drops and I feel less confident, I keep my head up and push forward. It's not my looks that makes me, it's my personality and my heart. Sure, I still want to weigh more, but I'm thankful for the poundage that I do have.
My point? When you get down on yourself, think about what's REALLY IMPORTANT.
When you feel guilty for eating, please do me a favor...........
Be thankful for being blessed with the food you've been provided for some would give anything to have just one bite off your plate.
When you feel bad for gaining a pound or two, don't sweat it. God made you in His image and regardless of how much you weigh, you are beautiful!
Wether you be under-weight, over-weight, or just right.............Just do your best and let God do the rest!
