Hey there! First off I'd like to say that this is a nice Christian-based forum I stumbled upon. I decided to finally make an account after lurking here for a short amount of time to answer a few of the questions that inevitably pop up in my head. Rather than letting those questions disappear, I thought I'd use this as an opportunity to have them answered, or just have some friendly banter and discussions to explore other alternative points of views. With that said, let's begin.
I grew up in a Catholic-based community, went to a Catholic school, occasionally went to a Catholic church, and had moderate Catholic parents. I didn't have a heavy spiritual household or upbringing but I remember going to church at a very early age with my parents every Sunday morning. After my parents divorced, which I was also at a decently early age, we sort of stopped going to Sunday mass and my only exposure to church and faith in general was through school, either through religion class or by getting dragged to church for a class mass (heh, class mass).
Of course I was young and would rather do kids stuff than listen to a boring sermon drone on and on about things I couldn't really comprehend (or care to). With that being said, I'd like to think I was a God-fearing, kind and considerate kid, always trying to do the right thing. A bit of a goody-two-shoes if you will. My faith was never strong or well-understood, but it was there.
Of the very seldomly few times we were forced to read bible scripture, I remember one story or parable or something that always stood out to me and retained in my mind to this day (whether I remembered it accurately remains to be seen).
There were these scribes or noblemen who would go out to the streets and pray publicly, making a big spectacle about Jesus and God to the public. They would do so to make themselves look good, to boost their ego, and to get people to point to them and say, "Those are good guys, what an example!" or something along those lines (I'm paraphrasing of course). Jesus took one look at that and said, "No, faith is something you do somewhere privately like in your room with your door shut, so you can have a personal relationship with your Father." or something like that. (I'd love it if someone could point to me which part of the bible this is in, I'd love to find it and read it formally). His point was it was something you find in your heart and do on a very personal level, not to boast out in public for "brownie points" or ego-inflation. I always liked that story and it stuck with me for life.
Fast-forward to highschool. My faith waned, the so-called practicing Catholics that went to church seemed to only be Christian for one day of the week before resuming their lives of hypocrisy, I'm sure all of us have been witness to those types of people at some point in our lives. Hardships set in, depression set in. I'd ask myself (in ignorance, I might add) "Why does God allow all this suffering to happen in the world? Why doesn't God come and fix my problems? Why doesn't God make himself known, or show himself to us?" Pretty much at that brief point in my life I became an atheist, blaming all the bad things that happened on God.
I was never a "militant atheist" but I laughed to myself. "How could people in this day and age believe in this nonsense?" You know all of the common atheist arguments by now, I imagine. "There is no God, there is no Satan, there is no Allah, people are just running around with these false hopes to make themselves feel better when their loved ones die, or to justify killing those of different beliefs for who-knows-why."
In my senior teen years, I began smoking weed. Oh boy, this is when I started seeing things in a whole other perspective. I began to become aware of the Illuminati, the conspiracy theories, the whole shebang. It started to question all my views of the world, and then I couldn't unsee it. "It's all a grand illusion; society, everything. All fake, all pre-programmed, all controlled."
As I matured and delved deeper on these topics, I began to reform my views for a bit. I was against organized religion, or even the concept of man-made religion in general. I always thought deep down though, "No, Jesus wouldn't of wanted all this. All this indoctrination, the deception and hypocrisy, church organizations centering around money, people not practicing what they preach." Religion was a turn-off for me, but I still thought about individual spirituality and having a personal connection with God (going back to that bible story I always liked). I became what I believed then and still believe now to be the most honest position someone could take on faith with the limited knowledge they may have on the topic; an agnostic.
Now, I hear the argument that you can only be an agnostic-theist or an agnostic-atheist. I truly felt I was right in the perfect center; a true agnostic. It was a comfortable position; no commitments to either side, I could shift back and forth based on my mood that day, as stupid as that sounds. I usually tilted towards the atheistic side but maintained that God was something that couldn't be proven or disproven. The thing that always bothered me about atheists (and still does to this day) is the rather arrogant belief that God doesn't exist just because we can't prove Him in our very limited comprehension of the universe. I mean, we don't even know of everything that exists on this earth; in the depths of the oceans, let alone the entire universe. There was, and is, always that possibility that somewhere in the depths of space and time dwells an all-knowing, all-seeing entity that may or may not be called God, who has no knowable form, maybe just some gas-based being beyond recognition or comprehension. How could we confine this being into our restrictive and incomplete concepts and theories of science? It was a pathetic attempt to explain the unknowable in a cramped, limited, erroneous way.
I maintained the position of being agnostic for the majority of my adult life (I'm only 21 years old so take that for all its worth, LOL). I always had a healthy fascination of theology regardless of my views and enjoyed researching biblical stories like that in Genesis and such, the Tower of Babel being amongst my favorites. But one thing stood out to me. As I mentioned, I liked to delve into conspiracy theories and am naturally distrustful towards world governments and doctrines of any variety. I began to notice a common theme; Satanic symbolism and imagery. Everywhere I looked, Satanic influence. Pop-culture, various cults (looking at you, Freemasons), numerology, company logos, popular music, weird "art shows", you name it. Anything linked to the higher echelons of society, there was almost always an ode to Satan.
So I began believing in Satan. No, not like that! I believed that Satan existed and was an evil, repulsive being. I didn't follow him, I remember calling him names for fun as a child (I was a weird kid). But why did all these elitists and organizations pay homage to the devil, and flash pentagrams and all that other symbolism they loved so much? It was a big mystery to me (and in hindsight, Satan was the one that began to lead me closer to God, as ironic as that sounds).
So I was in a depressive sort of state of "spiritual limbo" of thinking that there was all this evil in the world and Satan sat happily on his throne, controlling everything from behind the scenes as the puppet-master, totally unstoppable with no other power or being to rival him. At that point I thought that God and religion were all lies spun up to keep people distracted and pre-occupied, a means of keeping people happy and quiet.
Then I came upon a few rough patches in my life, sustained a few injuries, nothing I'd like to go into detail about. One thing came to another and I came across this YouTube channel called "The Watchman" which intrigued me. As an agnostic I liked to watch arguments on both sides of the coin, so I began watching this guy's videos. One thing he focuses on in particular is the fulfillment of bible prophecy in today's days, especially now in the last few years.
And boy, did Jesus give me a wake-up call.
Long story short, with the more points that were brought up and the more accurate comparisons that were made between the Book of Revelation and the current events happening in today's world, I became convinced that all of this was more than mere coincidence. And no, I didn't change my mind solely after watching these videos, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back after years of contemplation and playing "spiritual teeter-totter." I felt that it couldn't be long before Jesus' return, and that I had to get things right with Him. I felt like an outcast finally wandering back home after being lost for years.
So basically I accepted Him into my heart, and said my (probably) first real genuine prayer from deep within my heart. My father was a heavy unbeliever, lost his beliefs long ago. Think of it as a more extreme version of the situation I was in. I felt somewhat silly by praying but I did, just said a short sincere prayer in my head to God. I asked for Him to help my father find God in his life, just as I've been led back to God myself.
The next morning I found my father's old dusty bible, the one I never saw since I was a little kid, sitting on his nightstand. He came home and basically said he was having serious thoughts of rekindling his faith again. Now this was a shocker, as he was an avid and heavy disbeliever in this kind of stuff, and actively criticized religion rather harshly.
God listened to me, and that was the sign He gave to me. My faith began to flood back, the cobwebs surrounding my faith were brushed away. That little persistent hole of emptiness in my heart was filled, I felt different though I couldn't explain how. What surprised me further was that my dad wanted to go to this small church he didn't go to in decades; a friendly non-judgmental modest Baptist church filled with kind people who openly welcomed us, rather than the empty judgmental stares I was so used to when walking into a packed Catholic church.
I walked out of that church feeling refreshed and happy for the first time in a long time, which was surprising for someone like me who never liked or believed in the concept of going to church.
God is real. Jesus is real. Heaven is real. Hell is real.
God is continuing to help me everyday and while I may not always understand His plan, I feel His love touch me in a way I could never comprehend in my spiritually-dead former state. And this is coming from a former atheist/agnostic that had to see it to believe it.
Well I saw it, and I believe it.
I've picked up a bible and made it one of my life goals to read it in its entirety at least once before I die. I want to follow God's law as accurately as I can. So that's my story.
God bless each and every one of you!
P.S.
This pastor's experiences also helped me rekindle my faith as well, I think a lot of you would enjoy it just as much as I did:
P.P.S.
Wow, I didn't expect this post to be this long! Props to anyone who actually read the entire thing, lol.
I grew up in a Catholic-based community, went to a Catholic school, occasionally went to a Catholic church, and had moderate Catholic parents. I didn't have a heavy spiritual household or upbringing but I remember going to church at a very early age with my parents every Sunday morning. After my parents divorced, which I was also at a decently early age, we sort of stopped going to Sunday mass and my only exposure to church and faith in general was through school, either through religion class or by getting dragged to church for a class mass (heh, class mass).
Of course I was young and would rather do kids stuff than listen to a boring sermon drone on and on about things I couldn't really comprehend (or care to). With that being said, I'd like to think I was a God-fearing, kind and considerate kid, always trying to do the right thing. A bit of a goody-two-shoes if you will. My faith was never strong or well-understood, but it was there.
Of the very seldomly few times we were forced to read bible scripture, I remember one story or parable or something that always stood out to me and retained in my mind to this day (whether I remembered it accurately remains to be seen).
There were these scribes or noblemen who would go out to the streets and pray publicly, making a big spectacle about Jesus and God to the public. They would do so to make themselves look good, to boost their ego, and to get people to point to them and say, "Those are good guys, what an example!" or something along those lines (I'm paraphrasing of course). Jesus took one look at that and said, "No, faith is something you do somewhere privately like in your room with your door shut, so you can have a personal relationship with your Father." or something like that. (I'd love it if someone could point to me which part of the bible this is in, I'd love to find it and read it formally). His point was it was something you find in your heart and do on a very personal level, not to boast out in public for "brownie points" or ego-inflation. I always liked that story and it stuck with me for life.
Fast-forward to highschool. My faith waned, the so-called practicing Catholics that went to church seemed to only be Christian for one day of the week before resuming their lives of hypocrisy, I'm sure all of us have been witness to those types of people at some point in our lives. Hardships set in, depression set in. I'd ask myself (in ignorance, I might add) "Why does God allow all this suffering to happen in the world? Why doesn't God come and fix my problems? Why doesn't God make himself known, or show himself to us?" Pretty much at that brief point in my life I became an atheist, blaming all the bad things that happened on God.
I was never a "militant atheist" but I laughed to myself. "How could people in this day and age believe in this nonsense?" You know all of the common atheist arguments by now, I imagine. "There is no God, there is no Satan, there is no Allah, people are just running around with these false hopes to make themselves feel better when their loved ones die, or to justify killing those of different beliefs for who-knows-why."
In my senior teen years, I began smoking weed. Oh boy, this is when I started seeing things in a whole other perspective. I began to become aware of the Illuminati, the conspiracy theories, the whole shebang. It started to question all my views of the world, and then I couldn't unsee it. "It's all a grand illusion; society, everything. All fake, all pre-programmed, all controlled."
As I matured and delved deeper on these topics, I began to reform my views for a bit. I was against organized religion, or even the concept of man-made religion in general. I always thought deep down though, "No, Jesus wouldn't of wanted all this. All this indoctrination, the deception and hypocrisy, church organizations centering around money, people not practicing what they preach." Religion was a turn-off for me, but I still thought about individual spirituality and having a personal connection with God (going back to that bible story I always liked). I became what I believed then and still believe now to be the most honest position someone could take on faith with the limited knowledge they may have on the topic; an agnostic.
Now, I hear the argument that you can only be an agnostic-theist or an agnostic-atheist. I truly felt I was right in the perfect center; a true agnostic. It was a comfortable position; no commitments to either side, I could shift back and forth based on my mood that day, as stupid as that sounds. I usually tilted towards the atheistic side but maintained that God was something that couldn't be proven or disproven. The thing that always bothered me about atheists (and still does to this day) is the rather arrogant belief that God doesn't exist just because we can't prove Him in our very limited comprehension of the universe. I mean, we don't even know of everything that exists on this earth; in the depths of the oceans, let alone the entire universe. There was, and is, always that possibility that somewhere in the depths of space and time dwells an all-knowing, all-seeing entity that may or may not be called God, who has no knowable form, maybe just some gas-based being beyond recognition or comprehension. How could we confine this being into our restrictive and incomplete concepts and theories of science? It was a pathetic attempt to explain the unknowable in a cramped, limited, erroneous way.
I maintained the position of being agnostic for the majority of my adult life (I'm only 21 years old so take that for all its worth, LOL). I always had a healthy fascination of theology regardless of my views and enjoyed researching biblical stories like that in Genesis and such, the Tower of Babel being amongst my favorites. But one thing stood out to me. As I mentioned, I liked to delve into conspiracy theories and am naturally distrustful towards world governments and doctrines of any variety. I began to notice a common theme; Satanic symbolism and imagery. Everywhere I looked, Satanic influence. Pop-culture, various cults (looking at you, Freemasons), numerology, company logos, popular music, weird "art shows", you name it. Anything linked to the higher echelons of society, there was almost always an ode to Satan.
So I began believing in Satan. No, not like that! I believed that Satan existed and was an evil, repulsive being. I didn't follow him, I remember calling him names for fun as a child (I was a weird kid). But why did all these elitists and organizations pay homage to the devil, and flash pentagrams and all that other symbolism they loved so much? It was a big mystery to me (and in hindsight, Satan was the one that began to lead me closer to God, as ironic as that sounds).
So I was in a depressive sort of state of "spiritual limbo" of thinking that there was all this evil in the world and Satan sat happily on his throne, controlling everything from behind the scenes as the puppet-master, totally unstoppable with no other power or being to rival him. At that point I thought that God and religion were all lies spun up to keep people distracted and pre-occupied, a means of keeping people happy and quiet.
Then I came upon a few rough patches in my life, sustained a few injuries, nothing I'd like to go into detail about. One thing came to another and I came across this YouTube channel called "The Watchman" which intrigued me. As an agnostic I liked to watch arguments on both sides of the coin, so I began watching this guy's videos. One thing he focuses on in particular is the fulfillment of bible prophecy in today's days, especially now in the last few years.
And boy, did Jesus give me a wake-up call.
Long story short, with the more points that were brought up and the more accurate comparisons that were made between the Book of Revelation and the current events happening in today's world, I became convinced that all of this was more than mere coincidence. And no, I didn't change my mind solely after watching these videos, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back after years of contemplation and playing "spiritual teeter-totter." I felt that it couldn't be long before Jesus' return, and that I had to get things right with Him. I felt like an outcast finally wandering back home after being lost for years.
So basically I accepted Him into my heart, and said my (probably) first real genuine prayer from deep within my heart. My father was a heavy unbeliever, lost his beliefs long ago. Think of it as a more extreme version of the situation I was in. I felt somewhat silly by praying but I did, just said a short sincere prayer in my head to God. I asked for Him to help my father find God in his life, just as I've been led back to God myself.
The next morning I found my father's old dusty bible, the one I never saw since I was a little kid, sitting on his nightstand. He came home and basically said he was having serious thoughts of rekindling his faith again. Now this was a shocker, as he was an avid and heavy disbeliever in this kind of stuff, and actively criticized religion rather harshly.
God listened to me, and that was the sign He gave to me. My faith began to flood back, the cobwebs surrounding my faith were brushed away. That little persistent hole of emptiness in my heart was filled, I felt different though I couldn't explain how. What surprised me further was that my dad wanted to go to this small church he didn't go to in decades; a friendly non-judgmental modest Baptist church filled with kind people who openly welcomed us, rather than the empty judgmental stares I was so used to when walking into a packed Catholic church.
I walked out of that church feeling refreshed and happy for the first time in a long time, which was surprising for someone like me who never liked or believed in the concept of going to church.
God is real. Jesus is real. Heaven is real. Hell is real.
God is continuing to help me everyday and while I may not always understand His plan, I feel His love touch me in a way I could never comprehend in my spiritually-dead former state. And this is coming from a former atheist/agnostic that had to see it to believe it.
Well I saw it, and I believe it.
I've picked up a bible and made it one of my life goals to read it in its entirety at least once before I die. I want to follow God's law as accurately as I can. So that's my story.
God bless each and every one of you!
P.S.
This pastor's experiences also helped me rekindle my faith as well, I think a lot of you would enjoy it just as much as I did:
P.P.S.
Wow, I didn't expect this post to be this long! Props to anyone who actually read the entire thing, lol.
