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My parents are forcing a girl on me for marriage

Discussion in 'Face the board (Singles)' started by vlisco, Feb 6, 2019.

  1. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    Please advise me.. My parents want me to marry a lady I have no attraction for. They threaten to show no concern if I marry someone else . Now my right to find my own wife is taken from me. I am 30 now
    This issue has been a headache for me
     
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  2. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,606
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    Say no and walk away from your family until they can respect you as an adult. Seriously.
     
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  3. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,606
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    Also, get emotional and spiritual support from others in your area, like church, community groups, organizations you could be part of... Build a strong network of friends who will encourage and walk along side you.
     
  4. Justasurvivor

    Justasurvivor Member

    132
    +71
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
    dude and I thought my parents woulden't let me go, this is a new level
     
  5. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    U got any advice for me?
     
  6. Justasurvivor

    Justasurvivor Member

    132
    +71
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
    well do you have lady friends that are single that you feel affection for?
     
  7. Justasurvivor

    Justasurvivor Member

    132
    +71
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
    because if you do then narrow your search to those that have interest in you and present them to your family as friends and get your parent's opinion on them and then work it from there
     
  8. Justasurvivor

    Justasurvivor Member

    132
    +71
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
    and besides asking advice from people online is never a good idea
     
  9. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,106
    Christian
    What happens if you say "no"? Marrying this young woman is hurting her if you don't love her. You are 30 years old. How exactly do they make you marry anyone?
     
  10. Felipe Barbosa

    Felipe Barbosa New Member

    60
    +60
    Brazil
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Run for you life
    *Seriously, just say not and be honest with the girl.
     
  11. Petros2015

    Petros2015 Well-Known Member

    +1,807
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    ... and this is a problem how exactly? I'm assuming you aren't living with them in their house and have a place on your own and support yourself?
     
  12. Felipe Barbosa

    Felipe Barbosa New Member

    60
    +60
    Brazil
    Christian
    In Relationship
    One question: But what about the question of blessing and honoring your parents?
     
  13. Petros2015

    Petros2015 Well-Known Member

    +1,807
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I guess it depends on the OPs lifestyle; if he is living a batchelor lifestyle and just wants to continue doing that while the parents want him to settle down with a good family, a good spiritual woman from a family they feel comfortable joining to and bring children into that family, then a good way to bless and honor them would be to do that or to move in that direction.

    In this case, they seem to have chosen the person/family for him (and perhaps they have invested a great deal of thought, effort and negotiation doing so). This is traditional in many cultures (just not mine).

    If the choice isn't acceptable to the OP, I don't think he should have to take it, but hopefully he will honor his family by choosing eventually someone who will be acceptable to both himself and them. Marriages are between 2 people, but they are also between 2 families as well.
     
  14. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,106
    Christian
    Marrying someone you don't want to marry doesn't bless or honor anyone. And it is cruel to the one you marry if you don't want to be married to her.

    To honor your parents, means to be respectful, honest, and considerate. There is no command that adults need to honor their parent by always obeying them. However, I am assuming that this man is living independent of his parents financially. If not, then he needs to do that before he even considers getting married...even if it is someone he desires to marry.
     
  15. Rawtheran

    Rawtheran Lightmaker For Christ

    372
    +166
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    This..... this is seriously happening..... In the UK...... of all places? I'm literally blown away because truthfully I was expecting you to be from some sort of traditional country in either Eastern Europe or Asia. Shame on me for assuming. Anyway, if your parents are truly of God then there is no way in heck they can or should force you to marry someone who you're not attracted to. You are your own man with inalienable rights that cannot be taken away from you by anyone. Also we live in a world now where people live longer, get married later, and have kids later as well so I wouldn't stress it even at 30. What's also great about being 30 is that your dating pool is essentially limitless at this point in time for you because you can date women who are either younger or older then you. You'll be fine buddy, if Isaac from the Bible was able to get his dream girl later in life when he was 40 years old then you can too!
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2019
  16. Antari Zephyr

    Antari Zephyr Living For Christ.

    21
    +20
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    US-Others
    My mom was in a similar situation. She ended up marrying my dad (he passed away in 2004) and her parents despised him. They had millions, yet just because she married someone they didn't like, they wrote her out of the will. My uncle got it all, and decided to give us just enough to pay off our debts as we were always poor, having to borrow, our credit was destroyed, etc.

    However! It is love that matters and my mom loved dad more than any guy they wanted her to marry!

    My advice is to find a woman who you love, & loves you, then leave your parents a few verses on how arranged marriage is not correct these days (along with a personal message), then get married.

    You're an adult, your parents shouldn't control your life, especially this aspect of it!
     
  17. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    Thank you...
     
  18. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    Well said... Marriage is indeed between two families..
     
  19. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    It's still h
    Its still happening every where unfortunately
     
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  20. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    80
    +57
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Single
    No I'm actually not living with them
     
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