My new Christian faith -- and my problem with sex

[xMATHiiASx]

Hello dear Christians.
I'm 18 year old, danish young Male christian who just about 2 months ago repented and turned to our lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ healed my wounds, and made my drinking, smoking etc. go away, and I'm still grateful for it to this day. I'm close to tears because I'm confused.
First I want to start by stating that I believe that I'm the only Christian in my family. Some of my other family members kind of laugh at me because I've completely changed from a Sinner to a Believer... I feel sorry for them. I am very often frustrated by people around me laughing by the word of our dear Lord, and just talk blasphemy out of their mouth using their tongue.

I have a dear girlfriend which is 17-year old which I love by all my heart, and still she believes in the Lord, I felt that she hasn't completely let Jesus into her heart. Well let that be for now.

My biggest problem is, that I just can't stop being tempted to have sex with her. We both want to wait, and I admit that I regret ever starting to have pre-marital sex, but it is so hard to let go off. What do I do? By now, I know that Satan of course knows that it's my biggest weakness, therefore I am attacked all the time.
To help you understand, before repenting, I used to have a problem with alcohol and cannabis. I used to sleep with different girls from week to week as soon as I got the chance.. I am thankfully to our loving God for not doing that anymore. He has healed many of my wounds, and purified many of my scars on my soul.

I could really use a prayer from some few people now, since I'm standing in front of one of my biggest challenges yet; yet so simple, yet so hard to confront.

God bless you all dear people, I hope you can understand my frustration.

P.S: I'm new to this forum

 

[pilgrimgal]

Hello, welcome to the forum.

Your frustration is very understandable. Practicing pre-marital sex is hard to overcome especially since you have been doing that for a long time. Our society not only condones it but promotes it via media, etc. so there is more support out there for it than against it. As you seem to already know.. there are really good reasons why this is not right nor for your own good.

Finding some mature Christian men friends to talk to face to face would be good. There are others who have faced what you do, were determined to be free, are free, and will listen and help. We all need fellowship and are greatly helped by the support of a Christian atmosphere and community, Church, bible study group, support group, etc. ..but that is something we have to seek. Hopefully if you haven't done so you will.

As for your family..many of us have faced the problem of being given flack for our newfound faith and especially from family members who don't share that faith. Nothing is impossible with God..and you can persevere and live a Christian life..with much grace and His all abiding mercy. Meanwhile trust in Him to help you overcome. You may have to change some things in order to do so..and some relationships as well. The best thing is to avoid the occasion of the sin and that can mean changing things, relationships, places you go, what you watch on TV and the Internet, etc.

Remember you are understood and forgiven by a God of love who is merciful and loves you. And be kind to yourself..if and when you may fall. Let God pick you up and try harder each time.

It helps to pray every day and start getting into reading the scriptures. Psalms is a good place as well as the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John to just dive in. The Holy Spirit sustains, strengthens, and changes us through the reading and application of God's Word in the bible.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

" If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." (1 John 4:15-16)

God bless you brother in Christ. I am praying for you.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Prayers for your struggles. It is not always easy to be in a new Christian but it is the most rewarding experience one can have at the same time.

 

[salida]

Yes, pray and tell youself some scriptures like- Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.

This may not sound as fun but also surround yourselves in a group with other christians and/or in situations that won't be as tempting.

Take one day at a time-after while with prayer this will help.

 

[Ramy Louis]

Pray, delve in Christianity history and the Church struggles to survive the gates of hell, feel the suffer of the poor and the sick, and yes of course surround yourself with group of Christians.

 

[Peripatetic]

Sexual temptation of some kind is experienced by most people (especially men). Just be sure that it doesn't lead you into self-hate, condemnation, or separation from your faith. God knows your heart, and every one of us has areas of our lives that are especially challenging.

 

[Hand_of_Grace]

Hello dear Christians.
I'm 18 year old, danish young Male christian who just about 2 months ago repented and turned to our lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ healed my wounds, and made my drinking, smoking etc. go away, and I'm still grateful for it to this day. I'm close to tears because I'm confused.
First I want to start by stating that I believe that I'm the only Christian in my family. Some of my other family members kind of laugh at me because I've completely changed from a Sinner to a Believer... I feel sorry for them. I am very often frustrated by people around me laughing by the word of our dear Lord, and just talk blasphemy out of their mouth using their tongue.

I have a dear girlfriend which is 17-year old which I love by all my heart, and still she believes in the Lord, I felt that she hasn't completely let Jesus into her heart. Well let that be for now.

My biggest problem is, that I just can't stop being tempted to have sex with her. We both want to wait, and I admit that I regret ever starting to have pre-marital sex, but it is so hard to let go off. What do I do? By now, I know that Satan of course knows that it's my biggest weakness, therefore I am attacked all the time.
To help you understand, before repenting, I used to have a problem with alcohol and cannabis. I used to sleep with different girls from week to week as soon as I got the chance.. I am thankfully to our loving God for not doing that anymore. He has healed many of my wounds, and purified many of my scars on my soul.

I could really use a prayer from some few people now, since I'm standing in front of one of my biggest challenges yet; yet so simple, yet so hard to confront.

God bless you all dear people, I hope you can understand my frustration.

P.S: I'm new to this forum

ok first off your heart and spirit are saved and sealed, but the body, retains a memory. and the body still remembers what sin has taught it.

it is not s sin to feel tempted. Even Christ was tempted in every way we were. and if you do sin, get up and get on track.

i cover this topic alot in my post the dew of heaven in unorthodox theology

 

[xMATHiiASx]

Okay thank you guys very much for your kind answers. God bless you all. I'm not sure if I forgot to mention it, but me and my girlfriend still has a difficulty in stopping with sex -- whereas, we have sex very often. But as you say - get up and get on track.

 

[heymikey80]

Welcome, son. My prayers go out to you, that in your privacy you will feel the Presence of the God of the Universe wherever you are.

Your sister in Christ wants to back off and wait -- even though the impulse is strong not to wait. You lose a lot by not relating socially during that time. You get the feeling of connecting, but the constant presence of being married isn't there to bring it all together.

I've had kids handle this a variety of ways, but keeping-on is something of a cop-out. Some try to tackle the issue by bringing someone else into confidence about their problem. It's tough to know who can help -- sometimes less-connected but deeply trusted people are better to talk with. Other times you need the accountability and the constant engagement of someone who can be there during the day.

It is hard. It is also possible. Virtually all of the early Christian information we have refer to exactly two things about them: their holding to their guns even in the face of criminal execution; and their sexual purity. It's downright humbling that the two things we find hardest to deal with, are things the early Christians were constantly reported to have overcome in their lives.

There are other rightful ways of dealing with this situation, especially if you both find your relationship will really be permanent. I've had some people -- admittedly, older than you -- just walk up and tell their parents they're getting married. One couple told their parents to show up the next weekend for their marriage. Again, if you know your love's heart deeply, you'd probably know whether this were the case, and you'd be able to plan that out with her.

The issue is where God's leading, not how you (and she, and both of you) can accommodate everyone. That was the critical factor among those early Christians. They defied a culture that said sex and violence were just fantastic. They started from that exact same point, being part of their culture, and changing. They overwhelmed that culture with righteousness.

I'm not even sure how they did it.

It's again, amazing to me what God can accomplish in the face of practical impossibilities.

 

[Bart Siegwart]

Congratulations, your normal. The whole Bible was written for us normal guys, just like you. God knows your fleshly desires (Don't forget, Jesus was a human man as well as being God). That's why in 1st Cor. 7:1 he addresses this issue very completely. Your right it's a SIN to have sex outside of marriage. So what does this scripture tell you to do??? It say's "get married" so you don't "BURN"!
It doesn't say "WAIT"!! GOOD NEWS...... On your wedding night, if your are both born again Christians, your mutually biggest thought will be the 500 pound weights that's been lifted off your chests. That, if you have sex tonight, you won't be fornicating. Don't let Satin condemn you but, Don't wait. With her father's permission (if he is alive and available) within the next day or so, ask your girlfriend to a special place, with ring in hand, and ask her to marry you NOW. Then arrange an inexpensive but formal wedding (dress-up and do it in a church) within the next 30 days. Sooner if possible. THEN PRAY TO JESUS EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO MAKE YOU THE HUSBAND AND FATHER THAT HE MADE YOU TO BE. IN JESUS NAME , GUIDE DANISH, AMEN.

 

[xMATHiiASx]

Okay guys I've only been with her for about 4 months soon, and I think it would be odd just to marry her right away , like it was only to have sex. And I think that it's a good idea to ask God and see if he can approve it if you know what I mean.

I think it's kinda rushing through a relationship to get married already, so I'll think I'll wait. It seems kind of extreme. But of course as different humans, we have different opinions.

 

[Peacedove]

We all sin and we all have temptations put in front of us. Unfortunately for you sexual temptations (especially once they have been given in to) can be particularly difficult to resist. God does not judge as man judges, He sees right into your heart and mind and knows what you really want to do and He knows when you are honouring Him. I could give you lots of advice from my own head but the advice I will give you is to keep your eyes on Jesus and keep seeking His support and guidance for your life. It is good to fellowship with other christians and we should do that but He will be your real strength. May God make His way clear to you and give you the ability and strength to do that which He is asking you to do. Amen

 

[NewHope2010]

You should definitely talk to God. Have a conversation with Him and He will speak to you through your conscious. But you can also take some other steps.

1. Don't kiss. That's playing with fire.
2. Always look her in the eyes. Don't tempt yourself looking where you shouldn't.
3. Think of her as a sister until you're married.

I'll pray for you and hope this helps a little.

 

[Hand_of_Grace]

(rolls eyes) oh boy...

dont approach this topic in terms of right or wrong. that is law.

nothing wrong with attraction untill it starts going places that only married people go.

your only other option is to marry her before you take her to bed.

 

[xMATHiiASx]

but that is too late now? :s I know it can be hard to understand but I have a very hard time struggling with this problem. When I ask myself, where I'd go wrong, I know it right away, but it feels like that a part of me don't wanna quit having sex... I often don't even want to, but feels like somebody is driving me to do it, or like it's my "duty" to do so.
Very weird indeed.

But apart from that, it's very hard to resist. I don't want to give exact number but to be honest, before I became a Christian, I went to beds with more girls than you could count with two hands. Sorry if I'm so straight-forward I just like being honest so people can understand

 

[SharonL]

One thing for sure, you can't have a walk with Jesus and walk in the world on your terms. You just have to make a decision which one you want to do.

Once you have abused this privilege it is hard to stop - but you can stop.

Remember when you perform this act, you become in a way - one. Now if you are one with someone else what flows through their lives flows through yours. Do you want all the bad stuff that flows through others to become part of you also? You need to break the ties from all those other sex acts. Ask God to remove that passage from your life.

Your present girlfriend will have much more respect for you if you put a halt to it and have a proper relationship with her. Lots of times, girls give in because they feel they will lose their boyfriend.

Jesus paid a very high price for our salvation, he made the ultimate sacrifice. We can make our sacrifices in our lives that brings us into a pure relationship with Jesus.

Letting God do His work to reverse the flow of your life will give you a healthier existence and bless everyone around you with the beauty and strength of His presence flowing through you.

 

[EnVida Isaac]

Get married right away.

Stay committed and true to her.

Put the past behind you, focus on your self, not others.


You were lacking knowledge. Now you have some. You need more. That requires thirst.

You can get into all sorts of traps where you get stuck, feeling powerless. Powerlessness is not truth. Truth is power. Do not forsake the power of God as many do, taking a form of godliness but rejecting the inherent power.



The devil wants to test you, and is, getting you to believe you may be powerless. You already do have knowledge of what to do.

 

[xMATHiiASx]

okay I see. to make a choice. It is very hard, I don't expect you to understand dear brothers and sisters hehe. Alcohol and all other was no problem. It was taken right out of my life... But sex... that's just so personal. Marry her right away might be kind of... to rush things. But rather her than sex? Yes!

 

[EnVida Isaac]

okay I see. to make a choice. It is very hard, I don't expect you to understand dear brothers and sisters hehe. Alcohol and all other was no problem. It was taken right out of my life... But sex... that's just so personal. Marry her right away might be kind of... to rush things. But rather her than sex? Yes!

Where do you get this idea about "rushing things"? That is a worldly concept. Comes from "out there".

You have a choice about what to believe. That is your own choice to believe there is some kind of concept of "rushing things". It doesn't seem to fit you very well, though to believe that concept as you are left open to the temptations of the Devil and dangling as on a high wire over an abyss of failure.

Sometimes, you just need to go, "I am not going to wallow around in this anymore" and take action. You are choosing to walk that tightrope. You have gone from super risky unadvised behavior to finding yourself in a place where you are stuck.... without seemingly a way out except to possibly fail.

There is a way out. Get a fast marriage, stay together, decide on commitment, get some kind of job, and change your life.

You had no problems making impulsive decisions and taking risks in the past. But the reality was, you didn't really have any other choices and there weren't really much risk in any of that.

There is a huge risk in commitment.

The other way is failure. Drink, pot, one night stands. There isn't any depth or meaning to any of that.

It is just kind of standing on a moving platform down a hall and letting whatever come, come.

One might as well be a zombie, how little choice or action or freedom that takes.

 

[oi_antz]

If it helps you to understand that commitment is just as daunting now or in five years, let me tell you about an elderly couple I met who told me they met one day and within hours of meeting each other they decided to marry. I knew them when they were around 70 years old and they had been happily married all their lives. Just saying this because it could be an experience that you have not had, but it does go to show that no matter who the person is, we are capable of sticking it "through thick and thin, for richer and poorer, in sickness and health", and the decision you really need to make is whether you are prepared to do this, whether your partner really is the one you love above all others, and whether you are prepared to dedicate yourself to her and thereby decline any temptation that may ensue to dissuade you from her to someone else.