My mother is so angry

[derpytia]

Every word out of my mom's mouth in the past year has been of anger. And I'm not talking mild anger, I mean rage. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. I mean, I can't completely condemn her because her life has been one catastrophe after another since the day that she was born. So many bad things have happened to her and there was never any justice given to her from anyone including God. She get so angry and believes that God does not care and says that Jesus didn't really defeat Satan because if He did then Satan would just give up already and go away. And her words and anger really get to me and make me so sad because I look around me and there really is no justice in this world. And any charity or help that Christians give to people feels like a drop in a water bucket. The world is so unkind to her and I and other people and it just makes her so incredibly angry and she can't control herself and says that if she didn't have things like cigarettes and wine to take her away from what she calls "the edge" that she would have no problem getting bloody revenge on every single person who has ever hurt her or myself and wouldn't care if she went to jail or hell. I'm not sure what to do. I've prayed to God to help so many times (not even for specific help because I'm not even sure what would help in this situation) and there is nothing but silence. I've tried reading the Bible more and delving into God's justice for the evildoers but it doesn't seem to help her or myself. I'm at a loss.

 

[Emli]

Every word out of my mom's mouth in the past year has been of anger. And I'm not talking mild anger, I mean rage. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. I mean, I can't completely condemn her because her life has been one catastrophe after another since the day that she was born. So many bad things have happened to her and there was never any justice given to her from anyone including God. She get so angry and believes that God does not care and says that Jesus didn't really defeat Satan because if He did then Satan would just give up already and go away. And her words and anger really get to me and make me so sad because I look around me and there really is no justice in this world. And any charity or help that Christians give to people feels like a drop in a water bucket. The world is so unkind to her and I and other people and it just makes her so incredibly angry and she can't control herself and says that if she didn't have things like cigarettes and wine to take her away from what she calls "the edge" that she would have no problem getting bloody revenge on every single person who has ever hurt her or myself and wouldn't care if she went to jail or hell. I'm not sure what to do. I've prayed to God to help so many times (not even for specific help because I'm not even sure what would help in this situation) and there is nothing but silence. I've tried reading the Bible more and delving into God's justice for the evildoers but it doesn't seem to help her or myself. I'm at a loss.

Oh, I feel for you. I grew up with an angry mother. It is a situation that is never easy. I also became really angry myself, and was diagnosed with a lot of different emotional disorders, so I know a lot about this.

The thing is, she needs help. Is there a possibility for her to seek treatment or see a counselor? Or just talk to a deacon or a pastor? It might be really difficult for you to get her to agree to it, but it could be a valid option. Nothing will change unless she actually wants the change, but she won't want the change until something good awakens in her. She needs to open up about her feelings. Break down the barriers of her hardened heart.

She does NOT need a theological discussion. That will only end up hurting her more, and you.

I will pray for you, and for her. Talk to me if you need emotional or moral support. I've been through a lot.

 

[derpytia]

Oh, I feel for you. I grew up with an angry mother. It is a situation that is never easy. I also became really angry myself, and was diagnosed with a lot of different emotional disorders, so I know a lot about this.

The thing is, she needs help. Is there a possibility for her to seek treatment or see a counselor? Or just talk to a deacon or a pastor? It might be really difficult for you to get her to agree to it, but it could be a valid option. Nothing will change unless she actually wants the change, but she won't want the change until something good awakens in her. She needs to open up about her feelings. Break down the barriers of her hardened heart.

She does NOT need a theological discussion. That will only end up hurting her more, and you.

I will pray for you, and for her. Talk to me if you need emotional or moral support. I've been through a lot.

She has seen numerous counselors and psychologists in the past year or two and none of them have been able to help her. She already is open about her feelings. Almost too open sometimes. None of those feelings involve goodness or compassion. And she can be a good person. When I was a child she was kinder and more compassionate. She prays to God and God listens but does nothing. No matter how angry she is she still prays even though she feels that God does nothing for her. This is why I'm at a loss.

 

[Emli]

She has seen numerous counselors and psychologists in the past year or two and none of them have been able to help her. She already is open about her feelings. Almost too open sometimes. None of those feelings involve goodness or compassion. And she can be a good person. When I was a child she was kinder and more compassionate. She prays to God and God listens but does nothing. No matter how angry she is she still prays even though she feels that God does nothing for her. This is why I'm at a loss.

Alright, then let me ask you, does she actively repent? I mean, does she try control herself an turn from her sins? And have you sought deliverance?

Ephesians 4:26-27 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

Anger is a sin that allows some serious demonic oppression, and I believe that you might need some help from a local church. It might absolutely be worth a try, at least. Demons are real. I know this, because a lot of my past behavior were because of them.

 

[derpytia]

Alright, then let me ask you, does she actively repent? I mean, does she try control herself an turn from her sins? And have you sought deliverance?

Ephesians 4:26-27 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

Anger is a sin that allows some serious demonic oppression, and I believe that you might need some help from a local church. It might absolutely be worth a try, at least. Demons are real. I know this, because a lot of my past behavior were because of them.

She says she does but I don't think she tries to put in an effort even though she knows that she does wrong by being this way.

Demonic oppression is what I'm afraid of. But how do you tell someone that? How would I even begin to talk to either of our church pastors about that?

 

[Emli]

She says she does but I don't think she tries to put in an effort even though she knows that she does wrong by being this way.

Demonic oppression is what I'm afraid of. But how do you tell someone that? How would I even begin to talk to either of our church pastors about that?

If your mother is oppressed, I don't think that she is able to control herself.

Do your pastors know about your situation? What denomination are you?

 

[derpytia]

If your mother is oppressed, I don't think that she is able to control herself.

Do your pastors know about your situation? What denomination are you?

My senior pastor knows about our struggles and im sure he knows about most of what my mom has been through and what i've been through. I don't think he's considered demonic oppression in her case though I know for sure that he does believe that such a thing exists and can happen even to those who have been baptized. We are Lutheran denominated (in the missouri synod)

 

[rockytopva]

There is only one thing I know to do... And that is to live the example I expect to see from them. My whole family was lost and all I did was pray for them (in the closet) and live the life before them. Eventually they all came to Christ.

 

[Emli]

My senior pastor knows about our struggles and im sure he knows about most of what my mom has been through and what i've been through. I don't think he's considered demonic oppression in her case though I know for sure that he does believe that such a thing exists and can happen even to those who have been baptized. We are Lutheran denominated (in the missouri synod)

Since he believes in evil spirits, then you should talk to him. He might not be able to help, but if he can't, he will be able to find someone who can. Just make sure that they know what they are doing. Tell him about how difficult it is, and how she doesn't seem to be able to control herself. Tell him that someone who knows about these things told you to, if he doesn't believe you. It might not be the case, but it seems like it, and it is definitely worth a try.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I think you need to prioritise yourself. if you cant stand listening to her rage anymore, then choose not to. "Sorry Mom, that's enough. I have to go." otherwise you will become like her. Do you want to be angry day in, day out?
You can pray for her. let her know you are doing that. I see that is all you can do. Make sure you don't become bitter and twisted. Show her, you are choosing to rise above the sadness , the awful past.
God Bless.

 

[tturt]

Feel for you and your situation. You might already do this but it's important for you to let her know you love her no matter what.

How to talk with your pastor? Perhaps asking if there's a Bible study he conducts when people have problems with anger, bitterness, forgiveness, etc. If he doesn't, he might know of a local church that does.

Also, before deliverance she needs to understand that she'll need to stay in The Word because of Matthew 12:43-45 Even if she doesn't do deliverance, she needs to forgive. Do you play religious music? Do you have Bible study or pray together - Lord's prayer would help.

 

[EmmaCat]

I'll pray for you and your Mom. I hope there is some way she can get some help.

God bless you.

 

[St_Worm2]

She can be a good person. When I was a child she was kinder and more compassionate. She prays to God and God listens but does nothing. No matter how angry she is she still prays even though she feels that God does nothing for her. This is why I'm at a loss.

Hi Derpytia, praying for your mom and for you!

You said she wasn't always like this. If you don't mind me asking, how long ago did this recent behavior start? And was it over a particular, perhaps tragic event in her life?

Also, are there other symptoms, symptoms that she has now, but didn't have earlier in her life (e.g. sleep loss, memory loss, agitation, you know, other symptoms than just anger?).

BTW, it might help for you to encourage her indirectly, by being extra positive AND thankful when you're around her for the little things that are blessings in your life. As Pastor Charles H. Spurgeon rightly said:

"Thankfulness makes much of little"​

And hey, it can't be all bad for your mom, she has you

Finally, you should at least let your pastor know about her death threats towards others, as well not caring about what happens to herself, because such statements need to be taken very seriously (and they should be quietly reported to her doctor/pastor, or to both). Even though most people who say such things don't really mean it, there are still quite a few who do, and many of these have caught those closest to them by surprise, which can end very poorly.

Yours in Christ,
David

 

[Emli]

I think you need to prioritise yourself. if you cant stand listening to her rage anymore, then choose not to. "Sorry Mom, that's enough. I have to go." otherwise you will become like her. Do you want to be angry day in, day out?
You can pray for her. let her know you are doing that. I see that is all you can do. Make sure you don't become bitter and twisted. Show her, you are choosing to rise above the sadness , the awful past.
God Bless.

I'm sorry, but this is the worst possible advice. We are called to love and forgive, not abandon each other. We are also to honor or mothers, honor each other above ourselves, and give our lives for each other. Christ will be with her to protect her heart as she helps her mother. Where is your faith?

 

[Emli]

Also, before deliverance she needs to understand that she'll need to stay in The Word because of Matthew 12:43-45

I agree. This is very important. She will have to commit herself fully to Christ, and really follow His Word, but I believe you already know this.

 

[Goodbook]

Every word out of my mom's mouth in the past year has been of anger. And I'm not talking mild anger, I mean rage. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. I mean, I can't completely condemn her because her life has been one catastrophe after another since the day that she was born. So many bad things have happened to her and there was never any justice given to her from anyone including God. She get so angry and believes that God does not care and says that Jesus didn't really defeat Satan because if He did then Satan would just give up already and go away. And her words and anger really get to me and make me so sad because I look around me and there really is no justice in this world. And any charity or help that Christians give to people feels like a drop in a water bucket. The world is so unkind to her and I and other people and it just makes her so incredibly angry and she can't control herself and says that if she didn't have things like cigarettes and wine to take her away from what she calls "the edge" that she would have no problem getting bloody revenge on every single person who has ever hurt her or myself and wouldn't care if she went to jail or hell. I'm not sure what to do. I've prayed to God to help so many times (not even for specific help because I'm not even sure what would help in this situation) and there is nothing but silence. I've tried reading the Bible more and delving into God's justice for the evildoers but it doesn't seem to help her or myself. I'm at a loss.

Is it your dad shes angry with? Sorry dont mean to be personal but if so you could pray for him as well.
God is a god of Justice and mercy. He will avenge the wicked and evil doers. Your mum just needs to realise this. Thats why we dont take revenge cos if anyone whos sinned against us and treated us unkindly we just take it to God and he will sort it out. But your mum needs to be on Gods side. If she tries to take vengeance herself she will be just as bad as the people that hurt her and noone wins. Gods not going to take any notice if she doesnt even believe in Him or trust Him to do right. Look God already sent his only son to DIE for our sins. How unjust is that?! Imagine Mary, mother of Jesus thinking. Is this fair?! But it doesnt end there cos guess what Jesus rose from the dead no evil and no amount of sin could keep Him down.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I'm sorry, but this is the worst possible advice. We are called to love and forgive, not abandon each other. We are also to honor or mothers, honor each other above ourselves, and give our lives for each other. Christ will be with her to protect her heart as she helps her mother. Where is your faith?

We're called to value ourselves too , not be doormats for others to walk over.

 

[lastofall]

Take the wrong and forgive.

 

[Emli]

We're called to value ourselves too , not be doormats for others to walk over.

Scripture, please!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I think what your mother needs is true healing and I hope the lords grace and mercy cover her and lead her to a place of restoration.

It can be easy to see the world as a bad place when someone else is giving you those same dark glasses to you in which they view the world with.