My Mother Is Guilting Me About My Faith

[Rescued One]

My mother passed away this year at age 93. She believed in a generic god. I tried to do things for her, we gave her a Bible that she liked having on a table and would rub her hand across it occasionally as if that was some sort of magic, she never read it in my entire life (I don't think her parents had a Bible), I witnessed to her on several occasions, but she continued to believe Jesus was only a teacher and that Satan didn't exist. Don't you see? We aren't responsible for another person's faith or lack thereof.

I'll pray for you. Jesus is praying for those the Father has brought to Him. Hopefully someone will give you the verses because I have to go visit two of my grandchildren.

 

[Emerald Richardson]

I am also a different denomination than my parents and relatives and don't plan on telling them until I move out because I know I would face endless persecution anfthey would almost take it like I switched religions. That's also why I am not changing churches as well until then, I'm already leaving lifegroups.
My parents are Baptists who both grew up Catholic, and as far as I know, all the rest of my relatives are Baptist or Catholic as well. Unlike my parents though, a lot of my relatives don't take it that seriously and I doubt all of them are genuine Christians becuase they just do it out of expectation. I myself did not identify with denomination for years, but recently came to relize I'm Presbyterian. It's not easy to break the family mold, but I half to stick with what I truly believe out of heart sincerity.

 

[fat wee robin]

Hi everyone, I'm Jess. I'm 24 years old, born and raised Catholic, but as of the last couple years, I've left the Catholic church and considered myself a Christian. I've been attending a Baptist church for about a year and a half with my boyfriend and so far I really like it there.

(If anyone is curious, I did not leave the Catholic church because of my boyfriend and it's not like he ever asked me to. I only left Catholicism because I don't believe in praying to Saints, God's forgiveness being only obtainable through confession, or purgatory. No judgement on anyone who does believe those things, but I personally don't. I don't want to start any religious debates, this is purely for context)

My mother, however, has never been okay with this. She believes that because I was raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, and in her mind I've changed religions, not denominations, religions. Here's the thing: She doesn't go to church anymore. She claims that she doesn't go because she's angry at God for taking her son away (my brother passed away 13 years ago).

Today, my Mum approached me and told me that she just can't be okay with my new faith. She wants to see me married in the Catholic church, by a priest, so she wants me to go back to the Catholic church despite my beliefs. If I do, she says that she'll go back too, because "that's her miracle".

So now, I feel like unless I abandon my convictions and go back to my old church, I'm at fault for her lack of faith, and that thought really makes my heart hurt. What should I do? Any prayers and/or advice is welcome.

What ever happens ,I feel truly feel for your dear mother who has been devastated to the foundations by the loss of of your brother .
I too come from the RCC ,and having looked at other churches decided that in spite of it's shortcomings in certain areas , it is better than all the other churches , save, perhaps the Orthodox .
The crisis which is happening now, hopefully will bring profound changes and clear out the rot . You should relook at the idea of the 5TH commanment ,which is foundational to our moral health to take seriously .You have only one mother and can never have an other ,so if you can please her heart, and help it to heal , I am sure God will approve indeed .

 

[Neostarwcc]

My mother is Catholic too. She raised me Catholic and when I accepted Jesus back in 2013 she was overjoyed. But I didn't want to be Catholic and I left the faith I never had faith in to begin with. She was disappointed but eventually accepted my decision. See to my mother you cannot accept Jesus without being Catholic. And my mother is barely a Christian to begin with. She believes in a lot of warped things like ghosts and stuff like that. I believe that believers go to be with Jesus when they die and unbelievers go to sheol. I don't believe that people wander the earth. But... My mother does and its really hard for me to accept my mothers beliefs. It will take a while but your mother will probably accept your decision to become a Baptist too. Same as my mother who accepted me being an atheist for a while. If your mother really loves you she should accept you no matter what religion you are. You did the right thing leaving the Catholic church. I don't blame you one bit. Give your mother time. She will disagree with your beliefs but she will also learn to accept them. Trust me.

 

[GoldenRule636]

Actually I think you missed the point of what I was saying.

What you're saying has no relevance to the issue at hand. And no, the Bible does not say our friends and family in heaven intercede for us, it says Jesus Christ intercedes for us.

 

[GoldenRule636]

What ever happens ,I feel truly feel for your dear mother who has been devastated to the foundations by the losso of your brother .
I too come from the RCC ,and having looked at other churches decided that in spite of it's shortcomings in certain areas , it is better than all the other churches , save, perhaps the Orthodox .
The crisis which is happening now hopefully will bring profound changes and clear out the rot . You should relook at the idea of the 5TH commanment ,which is foundational to our moral health to take seriously .You have only one mother and can never have an other ,so if you can please her heart, and help it to heal , I am sure God will approve indeed .

I don't believe that changing churches will end her anger at God. She'll go to church for a while just so I'll go. I feel her faith should be rooted in Christ, not in me and my decisions

 

[Cis.jd]

What you're saying has no relevance to the issue at hand. And no, the Bible does not say our friends and family in heaven intercede for us, it says Jesus Christ intercedes for us.

1 Timothy 2:5: "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all men"

Rev. 8:3–4: [An] angel came and stood at the altar [in heaven] with a golden censer; and he was given much incense to mingle with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar before the throne; and the smoke of the incense rose with the prayers of the saints from the hand of the angel before God".

-I hope you are not going to show more of your bible ignorance by using the typical protestant verse comebacks such as "there is one mediator... thou shall have no other gods before me... blah3x"

Since you say, the Bible says Jesus is the only one who can intercede(pray for us) then are you going to tell your new pastor to not pray for you? Are you going to reedit your posts in where you ask people here to pray?

Your choice on conversion is all up to you but you are clearly doing this out of being uneducated with christianity.

Praying to saints isn't just a catholic belief. All the older christian denominations do it, except for those who were born 1600 years after the Bible was canonized.

 

[Tomm]

My mother, however, has never been okay with this. She believes that because I was raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, and in her mind I've changed religions, not denominations, religions. Here's the thing: She doesn't go to church anymore. She claims that she doesn't go because she's angry at God for taking her son away (my brother passed away 13 years ago).

Today, my Mum approached me and told me that she just can't be okay with my new faith. She wants to see me married in the Catholic church, by a priest, so she wants me to go back to the Catholic church despite my beliefs. If I do, she says that she'll go back too, because "that's her miracle".

So now, I feel like unless I abandon my convictions and go back to my old church, I'm at fault for her lack of faith, and that thought really makes my heart hurt. What should I do? Any prayers and/or advice is welcome.

Certainly, you should pray to God for guidance. Without His guidance, we are nothing. But I believe you, deep down in your heart, know which is the True Church founded by Lord Jesus 2000 years ago, and then appointed Peter the Apostle as her head when He said "You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My Church."

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

you would be required to heed your conscience per romans 14. Christ told us that taking up our cross and following Him would require us to forsake very close relationships in our lives, even those of our immediate family.

I'm concerned with the guy you're marrying. he is still of the roman faith? how have you two worked things out as far as your theological convictions? this will be important if you plan on having children as you gotta teach them something.

 

[Mountainmike]

A couple of things I think are important.

First to understand that as a parent (I am one) your mum cares about you. The only reason she is nagging you is because she is genuinely concerned for you, however wrong you think she may be. Respect the motive if not the action. If she didnt care, she wouldnt say anything. Its a parents right to "nag" and a kids right to put cotton wool in their ears!

Second the secret to coexistence is to understand the reason by behind the other persons position, whether or not you agree with it. So accept it as a valid position even if not the one you hold.
And in that case see the origin of your dispute is nothing to do with "praying to saints"

The origin of your difference with her, is whilst you are saying listen only to "scripture", she is saying listen to the "church" and the faith it hands down called "tradition" . She might justify that position by saying 1/ the bible itself says "the foundation of truth is the church" (it doesnt say scripture)) and 2/ there clearly was a long period before the new testament existed in which the faith was handed down ie "tradition" as Paul says "stay true to tradition we taught you by word of mouth and letter" - she might also point out, that those at the councils and early fathers (many) who decided the "creed" and "canon" you call the new testament such as Anasthasisius were vociferous about asking "saints for intercession" so since very early times many believed that. So accept the validity of someone holding her position even if you dont agree, and decide why you cant accept them if you dont.

So all I ask is
first - you respect that she is trying to help, and honor her duty to guide you, even if you dont like the direction!
second - respect her position has a valid case behind it, even if it is not one you agree with. Even talk to her about the difference, but research her side of it first: researching it shows you respect her as a person, even if not her conclusion..

 

[joshua 1 9]

What you're saying has no relevance to the issue at hand. And no, the Bible does not say our friends and family in heaven intercede for us, it says Jesus Christ intercedes for us.

I am telling you that they intercede for me. Are you calling me a liar? Just because you have never had that experience does not mean I have not. Maybe by the time you are 70 somewhere along the way you will have a dream about heaven and you will have the experience for yourself.

 

[Karin12414]

Hi everyone, I'm Jess. I'm 24 years old, born and raised Catholic, but as of the last couple years, I've left the Catholic church and considered myself a Christian. I've been attending a Baptist church for about a year and a half with my boyfriend and so far I really like it there.

(If anyone is curious, I did not leave the Catholic church because of my boyfriend and it's not like he ever asked me to. I only left Catholicism because I don't believe in praying to Saints, God's forgiveness being only obtainable through confession, or purgatory. No judgement on anyone who does believe those things, but I personally don't. I don't want to start any religious debates, this is purely for context)

My mother, however, has never been okay with this. She believes that because I was raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, and in her mind I've changed religions, not denominations, religions. Here's the thing: She doesn't go to church anymore. She claims that she doesn't go because she's angry at God for taking her son away (my brother passed away 13 years ago).

Today, my Mum approached me and told me that she just can't be okay with my new faith. She wants to see me married in the Catholic church, by a priest, so she wants me to go back to the Catholic church despite my beliefs. If I do, she says that she'll go back too, because "that's her miracle".

So now, I feel like unless I abandon my convictions and go back to my old church, I'm at fault for her lack of faith, and that thought really makes my heart hurt. What should I do? Any prayers and/or advice is welcome.

Hey Golden

First off, sorry if I repeat someone else, I didn't actually get to go through all the replies.

But in regards to your mother, I think a good sit down, adult conversation is what you need.

One thing my Pastor has recently been stressing (because we just discovered that another Baptist Church is moving right up the road from our Baptist Church), is that EVERY Church is a part of the Universal Bride. Whether you are Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, or even Nondenominational, we ALL fall under the title of Christian. The differences come in the styles and individual traditions, but the ultimate goal is Salvation.

Try to explain to her, in a non demeaning way, that it's not about where you Worship, it's about WHO you Worship. We are all a part of the Body of Christ and no part is better than another and every part is important. We are not in competition between denominations or individual Churches, we are all working to be an example and show people to Christ

Maybe try to tell her about how your life has changed and become closer to God through your Church. For most people, your life and how you live it will speak much louder than any words that leave your lips.

Praying for you hun! Just keep doing what you are doing and don't let ANYONE, not even your mother, stand between you and your relationship with Christ. You are NOT responsible for her "lack of faith", that is something between her and God. You can only control you, so don't take responsibility for things you do not have control over.

And just leave the rest in The Father's hands. <3 <3 <3

 

[fat wee robin]

1 Timothy 2:5: "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all men"

Rev. 8:3–4: [An] angel came and stood at the altar [in heaven] with a golden censer; and he was given much incense to mingle with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar before the throne; and the smoke of the incense rose with the prayers of the saints from the hand of the angel before God".

-I hope you are not going to show more of your bible ignorance by using the typical protestant verse comebacks such as "there is one mediator... thou shall have no other gods before me... blah3x"

Since you say, the Bible says Jesus is the only one who can intercede(pray for us) then are you going to tell your new pastor to not pray for you? Are you going to reedit your posts in where you ask people here to pray?

Your choice on conversion is all up to you but you are clearly doing this out of being uneducated with christianity.

Praying to saints isn't just a catholic belief. All the older christian denominations do it, except for those who were born 1600 years after the Bible was canonized.

I have many issues with the RCC , but I would never join any protestant denomination because they would not exist, but for the Old churches .

 

[fat wee robin]

I am telling you that they intercede for me. Are you calling me a liar? Just because you have never had that experience does not mean I have not. Maybe by the time you are 70 somewhere along the way you will have a dream about heaven and you will have the experience for yourself.

One of the problems with some ,many here is that the Holy Spirit is not yet working in them , they are still in ignorance .

 

[fat wee robin]

I don't believe that changing churches will end her anger at God. She'll go to church for a while just so I'll go. I feel her faith should be rooted in Christ, not in me and my decisions

Well the golden rule is to love those close to you ,and particularly your mother, as without her you would not have been born . Look at what God says about honouring your parents -He gives a promise which passes into the generations .
Modern American (and English )society too, is not one in which I could live in as it is fractured in a way most European Catholic countries are not .There , the Chrstian way of life is integrated into the society ,and people not only do not have to carry guns ,but there are many wonderful religious and commmunal festivities which have sprung from the old churches .Basic médicine is free and much more .
Afer much strife life is quite excelllent now .

If I am a cafeteria Catholic so be it and I love to read and learn from all kinds of Christians which I know God approves of ,butThere is no complete denomination
outside of the Ancients ,whic have unfortunately not been as they shoild be and need to repent and learn .

 

[Chris V++]

Quoted earlier "]The crisis which is happening now, hopefully will bring profound changes and clear out the rot . You should relook at the idea of the 5TH commanment ,which is foundational to our moral health to take seriously .You have only one mother and can never have an other ,so if you can please her heart, and help it to heal , I am sure God will approve indeed ."

To paraphrase, Jess, you better stay Catholic to help please your poor, sad mother. I wonder if you'd get this 'remember the 5th commandment' advice if you were a protestant entertaining Catholicism against your protestant mother's wishes. Guilt and name calling is what you should prepare for. This is why the world's Mary statues are all crying-they want you to feel guilty. Now go tell the sad statue you're sorry already and go light yourself a candle, missy!

 

[mama2one]

been attending a Baptist church for about a year and a half with my boyfriend and so far I really like She believes that because I was raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, What should I do? .

it's possible that a lot of your mom's "hopes and dreams" are focused on you now so you need to have some patience with her

once you move out and/or marry, hopefully there will be less pressure on you from your mom as she'll see you'll have your own life

since you're still living at home, your mom probably doesn't fully see you as an adult yet so I don't see a solution until you're out on your own

 

[Newtheran]

So now, I feel like unless I abandon my convictions and go back to my old church, I'm at fault for her lack of faith, and that thought really makes my heart hurt. What should I do? Any prayers and/or advice is welcome.

Tell her you'll meet her in the middle and go to an Eastern Orthodox or confessional (LCMS/WELS) Lutheran church with her.

Or tell her that you don't have to go back because St. Malachy said that Francis is going to be the last pope anyway and following this all faithful Roman Catholics are going to be looking for a new denomination anyway.



In all seriousness, you should not abandon your convictions. Although I no longer go to a Baptist Church, secondary to various innovations that have crept in to the Baptist faith over the years and my own study of church history I don't believe the correct answer is going back into Roman Catholicism particularly given the deep moral crisis that church finds itself in.

 

[Peble]

Hi everyone, I'm Jess. I'm 24 years old, born and raised Catholic, but as of the last couple years, I've left the Catholic church and considered myself a Christian. I've been attending a Baptist church for about a year and a half with my boyfriend and so far I really like it there.

(If anyone is curious, I did not leave the Catholic church because of my boyfriend and it's not like he ever asked me to. I only left Catholicism because I don't believe in praying to Saints, God's forgiveness being only obtainable through confession, or purgatory. No judgement on anyone who does believe those things, but I personally don't. I don't want to start any religious debates, this is purely for context)

My mother, however, has never been okay with this. She believes that because I was raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, and in her mind I've changed religions, not denominations, religions. Here's the thing: She doesn't go to church anymore. She claims that she doesn't go because she's angry at God for taking her son away (my brother passed away 13 years ago).

Today, my Mum approached me and told me that she just can't be okay with my new faith. She wants to see me married in the Catholic church, by a priest, so she wants me to go back to the Catholic church despite my beliefs. If I do, she says that she'll go back too, because "that's her miracle".

So now, I feel like unless I abandon my convictions and go back to my old church, I'm at fault for her lack of faith, and that thought really makes my heart hurt. What should I do? Any prayers and/or advice is welcome.

I think that your mother is acting out of concern for your soul (according to her beliefs) although I do think that she's overstepped her duties as a Catholic. Her responsibilities lie in informing you that you've done the wrong thing and that there are consequences (as per her beliefs). Nothing else. The choice of what to believe is entirely up to you. Also, if you had to return back to Catholicism only for your mother's sake, then it wouldn't be much of an improvement or any different from not being Catholic as it takes a real conviction to truly embrace the Catholic faith. Perhaps if you tell that to your mum, it'll help her understand that she should not be trying to 'force' Catholicism on you since that would be useless anyway.

 

[fat wee robin]

I don't believe that changing churches will end her anger at God. She'll go to church for a while just so I'll go. I feel her faith should be rooted in Christ, not in me and my decisions

Well then you will have to leave ,as you need to respect her if she is in any way supporting you , or you are not sincere in your independence .You are trying to have it both ways . Need to take the speck out , and face your own dishonesty .