I understand what you are saying. Just to let you know I'm not back but I am just back here just to respond to this.
But I do understand what you are saying. I know that no Christian is going to condone me hating my brothers and sisters because the Bible tells me to love. Well at this point I don't care anymore what the Bible says.
The battle within each of us every day is over who rules us. Only one can rule on the throne of our hearts: God or Self. You've chosen to serve Self in the matter of your siblings. God promises that your choice won't produce anything good. It may satisfy feelings of vengeance; telling your siblings to "Go to the hot place" may feel gratifying, but doing so is just about serving yourself. Your anger and hard words don't help your Mom any; they won't help heal things between you and your siblings; they won't point any of your siblings to the Saviour they so desperately need. No, all that will happen is that you will have "let off some steam," you'll have acted the ungrateful servant who, having been forgiven of a great debt went out and found one who owed him a far lesser debt and did to his debtor what he begged would not be done to himself. In the story Jesus told about the ungrateful servant, he concluded with a very dire warning:
Matthew 18:32-35
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’
34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
It's so easy to tell yourself you're a champion of the cause of your Mother, you're a seeker of justice, you're righting a wrong in hating and verbally savaging your siblings. But, really, your refusal to forgive is just about
you, not your Mom. What's worse, if you're God's child, you have been forgiven an enormous debt of sin. Your debt was so bad it deserved eternal separation from God in hell; your debt of sin was so awful it cost the life and blood of Christ to redeem you from it. But having been forgiven of your HUGE debt by God, at terrible cost to His Only Son, you refuse to forgive in turn! God has no patience with this sort of ungratefulness. It makes Him angry. Did He look at what your sin cost His Son and rage at you? Did He look upon your wickedness and cry, "You can just go to H**l!" No! Through the horrifying sacrifice of His Son, He extended to you grace, and mercy, and fellowship with Himself. How can you not follow His example? As far as God is concerned, you can't - not if you want to know and walk with Him.
I know I I shared with you guys how I'm feeling oh, so I'm not angry that people told me what the Bible says. But I am going to just let you know that I don't care anymore. I hate my brothers and sisters. I am unable to love them. They talked crap about my mom. And I refuse to love them. If that means that I'm going to go to hell because of that, then so be it.
It's amazing, isn't it, what we'll say and do in service to Self? The things we'll give up just to satisfy selfish, petty anger! But, if you are truly God's child, He won't let you carry on in ease and comfort with your bad choice. You've thrown down the gauntlet before God, stamping your feet in temper tantrum about your badly-behaving siblings, willfully rebelling against your Maker's will. Okay. God says He will resist you (
1 Peter 5:5; James 4:6); He will withdraw His fellowship and blessing from your life (
Psalms 66:18; Isaiah 59:2; 1 Peter 3:10-12); and He will "hand you over to the jailers," to the bondage of the World, the Flesh and the devil (
Ephesians 2:1-3).
Anger and unforgiveness are exhausting. They harden a person, too, making them nasty, cold and bitter. And they are powerfully habit-forming. The longer and more you indulge anger and unforgiveness, the deeper into these things you'll settle until, one day, you will be permanently unable to extricate yourself from them. Ironically, in becoming such a person, you will take on the character of your siblings. In your hatred of them, you will share in their wretchedness.
No one is asking you to think the ugly things your siblings say about your Mom are good and right. In love, you ought to challenge the bitterness and resentment in their hearts just as you ought to do in your own. If their talking to you degenerates into a "Let's slam Mom" session, simply refuse to say or listen to things that are unkind to the memory of her. You shouldn't rail and rage at your siblings, but you don't have to participate in, or accept, their rotten behaviour, either. Forgiveness doesn't require that you turn a blind eye to sin.
But don't be like foolish Esau who, for temporary satisfaction in the moment, gave up his birthright forever. There is only bondage, suffering and regret on this path. Which is why God tells you to forgive.
