my living parents are homosexual pedophile kidnappers

[vnct0000]

i didn't call my father this year for thanksgiving. i stopped calling him because he makes me ill.

my living parents are homosexual pedophile. my father was brought up on manslaughter charges before i was born. he kept the severed finger of his victim like a rabbit's foot that i found as a small child. subsequently, his husband served 20 years in prison for kidnapping. they were both awakened at gunpoint in their home by the FBI.

i really can't deal with them.

 

[MissRowy]

You don't have to call him. There is no rule that says you have to. I hope you are okay brother.

 

[vnct0000]

You don't have to call him. There is no rule that says you have to. I hope you are okay brother.

i made a mistake and called him. now i regret it, because i'm feeling bad again. it's like a dark cloud has descended again.

i don't attend church anymore, because the christian leaders obligate me to call him. but they don't know how it affects me. they consider me unchristian for not calling my own father. i want nothing to do with their religion.

 

[MissRowy]

I am praying for you brother. I can understand why you want nothing to do with them. If you want to talk to a chaplain here then I can provide you a link.

 

[vnct0000]

I am praying for you brother. I can understand why you want nothing to do with them. If you want to talk to a chaplain here then I can provide you a link.

thanks, but i'm not sure how that will help.

 

[Greg J.]

thanks, but i'm not sure how that will help.

That is why a lot of people don't want to go see a psychiatrist or psychologist, but ignorance is not a good reason. Talking to them until you know it isn't helping is the wiser course of action (for everyone).

Presumably your church knows details about the situation that you haven't shared with us. Knowing only what you've written, I believe that no one at your church should have told you that you "should" call him. What they should be doing is helping you see the situation as God sees it. If they don't know the effect it has on you, then they can't see it as God sees it.

If a long-time therapist and said you should, that is one thing. No one outside of that kind of relationship should be saying that. From what you've written, I'd suggest that it is possible that you should not contact either of them until you have changed so much you can do so without being hurt by them (presumably 15+ years from now).

If you want to honor your parents because of God's command to do so, then seek God for ways to honor them that will please God. Who knows what he might say. He could want you to honor someone who has been like a good parent to you.

 

[vnct0000]

----

 

[com7fy8]

the church leaders are just ignorant. they believe that if someone is not fully 100% recovered from a trauma situation that they are therefore resistant to the gospel of jesus christ.

Well, I understand that it can take time for me to be changed by God so I am strong against how evil people would effect me. So, in case you have talked only with people who say you should get a total and instant 100% quick fix without any further problems . . . may be you have not shared with others who are Christians and who don't expect this. Or, you somehow have misunderstood what you were told. I, of course, do not know you or the ones you are talking about. So, I'd like to offer not just ideas, but how I find that God has proven Himself to me.

My experience is I have needed how Jesus corrects me > this includes how God through Jesus makes me more and more strong against how evil people have been able to effect me. I have not just suddenly been fixed and 100% healed.

Because my own selfish character takes time to cure, so I am in God's love, instead, with His power almighty to keep me safe from how evil people can mess with me, spiritually and emotionally.

And I know even at least one TV minister who says she still needs to get more real against how her painful past can still get to her . . . if I understand her right.

So, I agree that it does take time. And the Bible tells us that we can become able to keep evil from overcoming us >

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)

So, I understand that no evil person should have power over me, to be able to decide if I love that person or not, or give up on that person or not. Jesus so suffered like He did and died for us, on the cross, with hope for any evil person, at all. But to get real with Him takes time of trusting Him and getting His correction so I can join Him in His example >

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, and offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

This is not only so we will just ignore the evil people have done; but this makes us strong for our loving relationships, in close involvement with people who may be very caring and loving people but not perfect. And so we need to become strong, not so we let evil people get away with something, but so we are strong enough to stay pleasant and patient when we find out how even loving and caring people at times can be wrong . . . or wise to us so they don't go along with our selfish ways

they then talk down to me condescendingly with their 'spiritual insignts', assuming that anyone who doesn't agree with their belief system is therefore ignorant.

That is right, that we need to not look down on anyone; but Jesus is so superior to us, that He has to look down, but He has looked down on us, from the cross, with compassion. And this is how He has us relating >

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

And yes, for all of us, this takes time . . . to get real correction, so we are loving like Jesus on the cross . . . and our example.

So, yes there might be people who push some quick-fix healing which makes someone feel good but without taking the time to go through real correction how God is able to prove Himself and all He can do with us.

And then, after He has proven Himself to you, He also will satisfy you to do whatsoever He really wants

 

[Greg J.]

@vnct0000, please forgive me. I completely misread your original post.

 

[vnct0000]

@vnct0000, please forgive me. I completely misread your original post.

thanks for listening.

 

[vnct0000]

So, in case you have talked only with people who say you should get a total and instant 100% quick fix without any further problems . . . may be you have not shared with others who are Christians and who don't expect this.

i had been attending a christian recovery group, but i was removed in the absence of sufficient change.

And I know even at least one TV minister who says she still needs to get more real against how her painful past can still get to her . . . if I understand her right.

religious leaders have greater privileges and allowances.

So, I agree that it does take time. And the Bible tells us that we can become able to keep evil from overcoming us

i was allowed maybe 25 recovery sessions (25 weeks).

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

(Romans 12:21)

not practical without the support of the church.

 

[com7fy8]

i had been attending a christian recovery group, but i was removed in the absence of sufficient change.

i was allowed maybe 25 recovery sessions (25 weeks).

Thank you for telling us this. But in case you are trying to use a recovery thing in order to get what is not God's will for you . . . this could be at least part of why it does not work.

You don't decide how long you might need to be on time out, in case you are.

And if my experience means anything > lolololololol > I have been growing and learning how to love. And this means God expects me to do loving things with impossible people, living in unconditional love. Someone I am trying to help wants the help but he can do a lot of very different things which mix and mess things up; and I need to stay prayerful with God so I make the right moves.

If I have Jesus, I can be tested by Satan. Paul had how he was so blessed, and this meant he could have it all tested by Satan. So, he had to be real in grace, in order to well handle how his "thorn in the flesh" "messenger of Satan" (2 Corinthians 12:7-15) was allowed to mess with him and test however he was blessed.

So, if you are called to something of God or maybe blessed in a very special way in love sharing, maybe, Satan can be allowed to attack you with the exact opposite; so you need to become a deeply strong and stable person who can stay prayerful during hard things, stay kind and considerate and pleasantly patient with other people while people and things mess with you.

So, if you are trying to get with God . . . by staying mainly by yourself and trying to get healed mainly only to you . . . we need to learn how to share as family with our brothers and sisters, and find out how God has us being good for each other . . . not depending only on our self effort.

 

[vnct0000]

If I have Jesus, I can be tested by Satan. Paul had how he was so blessed, and this meant he could have it all tested by Satan. So, he had to be real in grace, in order to well handle how his "thorn in the flesh" "messenger of Satan" (2 Corinthians 12:7-15) was allowed to mess with him and test however he was blessed.

So, if you are called to something of God or maybe blessed in a very special way in love sharing, maybe, Satan can be allowed to attack you with the exact opposite; so you need to become a deeply strong and stable person who can stay prayerful during hard things, stay kind and considerate and pleasantly patient with other people while people and things mess with you.

i am perhaps more frequently attacked by the church than by satan. the church leadership is the 'messenger of satan'.

So, if you are trying to get with God . . . by staying mainly by yourself and trying to get healed mainly only to you . . . we need to learn how to share as family with our brothers and sisters, and find out how God has us being good for each other . . . not depending only on our self effort.

the church leadership has restricted me from interacting with its members.

 

[com7fy8]

i am perhaps more frequently attacked by the church than by satan. the church leadership is the 'messenger of satan'.

the church leadership has restricted me from interacting with its members.

Thank you for telling me

If you please to tell me . . . have you gotten to know anyone, at all, in that church, who has been a good example who helps you get more real with God and more real in how Jesus desires for us to love any and all people?

We need examples who do not only tell us things to do, but they are our examples who feed us how to be and how to share in love >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

I am thinking how even if we do prepare to forgive someone or reach to someone, we need to be ready to relate the way Jesus wants . . . including so this can spread to help whomever we forgive or reach to. We need to have hope for people who are wrong. Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

 

[vnct0000]

If you please to tell me . . . have you gotten to know anyone, at all, in that church, who has been a good example who helps you get more real with God and more real in how Jesus desires for us to love any and all people?

the Christian leaders did not want a personal relationship with me.

 

[com7fy8]

the Christian leaders did not want a personal relationship with me.

What about members?

Even if you do know someone who is for real, he or she can not get into much of a sharing relationship with you, unless both of you are being gentle and humble and mutually submissive >

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

I think I have seen how certain people have come to our church and right away they want a lot of attention from the pastor. They are looking for attention and a big name and influence; so they go only or mainly to leaders. They expect the leader to be the greatest person in the church and therefore the one who will give them the most attention that they want. But if they are un-subject people, they can not get into a mutually submissive relationship; so the leader can do only so much with them! And it is not wise to get connected with someone who is not submissive and able to handle things prayerfully > this can be getting into an unequal yoke.

I know ones who have complained about the pastor not giving them the attention they demand and dictate they should get. They are nasty and naughty and not nice; so I can see how the pastor needs to keep limits with them. Then they get all bent out of shape, blaming the pastor, instead of seeing their own need. But we pray with hope for them > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7); meanwhile, they can be not having hope for us!!

So, because my leaders already are quite busy, I need to appreciate any moment to share with them, and not be greedy I often get interrupted or a leader just turns away to something else, but I understand they are quite busy and I can tend to try to bend people's ears to me; I need correction, myself!! And God wants me to love people, myself, and not dictate and demand how others will share with me.

I expect people to evaluate me about if I am for real or not; and if the pastor does not find me to be for real enough so he needs to spend time with me, then I need to seek our Father for real correction . . . not only my do-it-myself stuff! Plus, like I offered, I need to consider how busy leaders have their own need for time to pray and study God's word, time with their own families, time to continue the relationships they have with people already good for them, and reaching various people and not only me. If someone is very good for me . . . like my lady friend . . . I need to welcome them to also be good for others > I often challenge and welcome her to be with others, because she is God's gift of love not only for "me, myself, and I".

But I can not assume you have been with really Christian people. Are any of them really good role models? I am interested in knowing if you know anyone who has been a good example of getting real with God and learning how to relate in love, the way the Bible says we need to relate. In case they are not really Christian, you have the challenge of finding who is for real, who can help you.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

But in order for me to be able to connect with someone who is for real, I need to be real, myself. A really Christian person can only go so far with me, if I am not being gentle and humble in God's love >

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)

This is included in our basic calling as God's children. If you please to look at the verse before this, you can see this is part of our basic love calling as Christians.

And we have Colossians 3:15, which shows how we all "in one body" are "called" to obey how God rules us in His own peace.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

i didn't call my father this year for thanksgiving. i stopped calling him because he makes me ill.

my living parents are homosexual pedophile. my father was brought up on manslaughter charges before i was born. he kept the severed finger of his victim like a rabbit's foot that i found as a small child. subsequently, his husband served 20 years in prison for kidnapping. they were both awakened at gunpoint in their home by the FBI.

i really can't deal with them.

I’m not sure if that’d help, but my mother is a thief, and my father had gang relations. We’re in the same boat, me, you, and everyone else. Don’t mind what people tell you and find yourself another community to attend to.