- Aug 4, 2005
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hi my name is melisa, i am an addict even tho i havent used in 3 years now. but thx to God the father i am clean. I am going to right out my first step wich is wht i wrote when i first got clean.
June 4, 2002 first day clean.
My mother kicked me out of the house when i was 11. she said it was for flerting with her at-the-time boy friend because i was waring a night gown she said was see through.at this time i moved in with my mothers high school friend. A wonderful 5'2 indian woman named Tima and her husband. They had a half way house that took care of Juvinile boys. I started haning out with my older cousin Destiny, (she was 6 years older)
and she introduced me to pot or weed, witch ever you would like to call it.
From the age of 11 to 15 i was smoking a 40 sack a day and dranking an 18 almost every day,i had tried acid, meth and shrooms during this time but pot was my drug "of choice". at the age of 15 i was in the park with some friends smoking weed when i went into a siezure, (please bare with me my spelling is not the greatest
) and when to the hospital, were i found out that i was alergic to the THC in the weed. When i found this out is when i started getting into the meth realy heavy. by the time i was 16 tima told me to eather get off the meth or get out. me being stupid and thinking i knew everything i left and moved in a house with a friend of mine.
My friend and i would have party s every night and spend weeks awake(since meth is an upper and kept you awake) After a while meth was no longer a party, i had to have it to function. i was sleeping around and getting meth were ever i could. i was in and out of relation ships and freind ships. i couldent keep a job or a place to live. I was taking the chance of sleeping with some one and catching somthing or over dosing and dying. i ended up in the hospital over dosing three times but making it though.( I never caught an STD thank God)
I got pregnant at the age of 17 with my first child. at that time i was able to quit using. Tima let me move back into her house and i thought it was the end of my using. At 18 i had a perfect 7lbs. baby girl. 2 weeks after she was born an old "friend" of mine stopped by and wanted to hang out. i said sure. we ended going to one of her friend house, were they had some dope. I didnt think it would hurt anything so i did a couple of lines.i met a guy there i was interrested in and we started talking and hanging out. a week later we were a couple. 5 months later me and this man got married. (we had been awake for a month when we got married.)
By this time we were living with his parents and we were using them to watch my daughter,for money and there car. They would always gripe about what we were doing but they never tried to stop us. they enabled us and we took it for all it was worth.
My at the time hubbys uncle made the stuff so we were at his place all the time. he gave us piles of meth when ever we wanted it. We were going through1-3 eight balls every other day. Our marrage was horrible! I was wanting to be with my daughter and he was wanting togo out and i couldent trust him. ( not to mention i wanted to get high too) so we made a plan, he would go get the dope and i would stay home with my baby. 1-3 days later he would show back up( tweekers cant keep time) and i would put the baby to bed and we would go in the bathroom and smoke it.
We would smoke it in or on anything, foil, light bulbs, pop cans, candy thermometers, and if we didnt have any of those we would eat or snort it.
I had 2 children with him and i would quit while i was pregnant and then start back up after words. it was a cycle.the 3 years we were to get her there was a lot of fighting and hitting and verbal abuse.i tried to leave him 3 times the 3 years we were married.the 2 times i tried to leave i went to drug houses and he would find me and cause all sorts of trouble to were i had to leave. (since it was a drug house they didnt want the cops there) I felt i had no other place to go but back to him.
By the time i was 21 i had enough. I wanted out. at the time i didnt know it but God was watching me and heard my cry for help.i met a gal that said if i realy wanted to leave my husband she would help as longs as i didnt go running back in a week. i told her i was done and ready to give up on life. so i moved in with her. when my husband found out were i was he showed up and started screaming things and reving the motor to his truck . she handed me the phone and told me to call the police. i was afraid, so she did it for me. the police came and took him away. he tried some more things but that finaly quit two.
I asked his parents to keep the kids tell i got my self clean and they agreed. It took me 8 month to get to the point were i hated every thing about me,i didnt have my kids, i had no home ( the gal whent to gail for drugs) nothing......i felt i had nothing. i went into detox then. my current boyfriend (now my awsome husband) walked 30 miles to come see me even thou his parents said i wouldent change. then his mom came in to visit me..... and she gave me a bible........and told me that my way didnt work-that my best wasnt good enough -and to put it into Gods hands.
And thats what i did. since finding the father ( who was never lost- just forgotten) I now have a house, my kids are home with me and i am blessed more and more every day. I LOVE to tell ppl about the Father.
And knowing that the father could FORGIVE me after all the lieing ive done and the stealing, and sleeping around and the cheating and EVERY thing ive done i KNOW that he will forgive you too!!
Thx for taking the time to read and i hope it helps you in your life or any struggles you might have!
In the Fathers Name
Missy
June 4, 2002 first day clean.
My mother kicked me out of the house when i was 11. she said it was for flerting with her at-the-time boy friend because i was waring a night gown she said was see through.at this time i moved in with my mothers high school friend. A wonderful 5'2 indian woman named Tima and her husband. They had a half way house that took care of Juvinile boys. I started haning out with my older cousin Destiny, (she was 6 years older)
and she introduced me to pot or weed, witch ever you would like to call it.
From the age of 11 to 15 i was smoking a 40 sack a day and dranking an 18 almost every day,i had tried acid, meth and shrooms during this time but pot was my drug "of choice". at the age of 15 i was in the park with some friends smoking weed when i went into a siezure, (please bare with me my spelling is not the greatest
) and when to the hospital, were i found out that i was alergic to the THC in the weed. When i found this out is when i started getting into the meth realy heavy. by the time i was 16 tima told me to eather get off the meth or get out. me being stupid and thinking i knew everything i left and moved in a house with a friend of mine.My friend and i would have party s every night and spend weeks awake(since meth is an upper and kept you awake) After a while meth was no longer a party, i had to have it to function. i was sleeping around and getting meth were ever i could. i was in and out of relation ships and freind ships. i couldent keep a job or a place to live. I was taking the chance of sleeping with some one and catching somthing or over dosing and dying. i ended up in the hospital over dosing three times but making it though.( I never caught an STD thank God)
I got pregnant at the age of 17 with my first child. at that time i was able to quit using. Tima let me move back into her house and i thought it was the end of my using. At 18 i had a perfect 7lbs. baby girl. 2 weeks after she was born an old "friend" of mine stopped by and wanted to hang out. i said sure. we ended going to one of her friend house, were they had some dope. I didnt think it would hurt anything so i did a couple of lines.i met a guy there i was interrested in and we started talking and hanging out. a week later we were a couple. 5 months later me and this man got married. (we had been awake for a month when we got married.)
By this time we were living with his parents and we were using them to watch my daughter,for money and there car. They would always gripe about what we were doing but they never tried to stop us. they enabled us and we took it for all it was worth.
My at the time hubbys uncle made the stuff so we were at his place all the time. he gave us piles of meth when ever we wanted it. We were going through1-3 eight balls every other day. Our marrage was horrible! I was wanting to be with my daughter and he was wanting togo out and i couldent trust him. ( not to mention i wanted to get high too) so we made a plan, he would go get the dope and i would stay home with my baby. 1-3 days later he would show back up( tweekers cant keep time) and i would put the baby to bed and we would go in the bathroom and smoke it.
We would smoke it in or on anything, foil, light bulbs, pop cans, candy thermometers, and if we didnt have any of those we would eat or snort it.
I had 2 children with him and i would quit while i was pregnant and then start back up after words. it was a cycle.the 3 years we were to get her there was a lot of fighting and hitting and verbal abuse.i tried to leave him 3 times the 3 years we were married.the 2 times i tried to leave i went to drug houses and he would find me and cause all sorts of trouble to were i had to leave. (since it was a drug house they didnt want the cops there) I felt i had no other place to go but back to him.
By the time i was 21 i had enough. I wanted out. at the time i didnt know it but God was watching me and heard my cry for help.i met a gal that said if i realy wanted to leave my husband she would help as longs as i didnt go running back in a week. i told her i was done and ready to give up on life. so i moved in with her. when my husband found out were i was he showed up and started screaming things and reving the motor to his truck . she handed me the phone and told me to call the police. i was afraid, so she did it for me. the police came and took him away. he tried some more things but that finaly quit two.
I asked his parents to keep the kids tell i got my self clean and they agreed. It took me 8 month to get to the point were i hated every thing about me,i didnt have my kids, i had no home ( the gal whent to gail for drugs) nothing......i felt i had nothing. i went into detox then. my current boyfriend (now my awsome husband) walked 30 miles to come see me even thou his parents said i wouldent change. then his mom came in to visit me..... and she gave me a bible........and told me that my way didnt work-that my best wasnt good enough -and to put it into Gods hands.
And thats what i did. since finding the father ( who was never lost- just forgotten) I now have a house, my kids are home with me and i am blessed more and more every day. I LOVE to tell ppl about the Father.
And knowing that the father could FORGIVE me after all the lieing ive done and the stealing, and sleeping around and the cheating and EVERY thing ive done i KNOW that he will forgive you too!!
Thx for taking the time to read and i hope it helps you in your life or any struggles you might have!
In the Fathers Name
Missy
