My life is a cruel joke.

[LynnSmith]

Just said a prayer to God and and Jesus I did not lift my hands or anything but laid in bed and whisperer all my pains and sorrows that I mentioned here. It's a start as I have not prayed in over 10 years.

That is a wonderful way to start! You don’t have to lift your hands. You just need to talk to Him. Just keep talking.

 

[JacksBratt]

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." seems like a cruel joke God keeps playing with my life.

I use to believe this but after losing the only friends I had about 15 years ago I stopped believing this. I have not been to church in 13 years matter of fact I have no church to even go though. I suffer major social issues "Aspergers" and even talking to strangers is very difficult. I use to be saved but now my heart is so bitter. I get upset over everything which rubs off with my family who hold grudges and don't believe in "forgive and forget" so no friends means I have the bitterness of my family to talk too who many times seem not to care or change the subject.

So it seems that I was "born again" 17 years ago but I am now "lost again".

I feel for you. Sometimes we feel lost or that we have lost our friends..

However, it is not God's "fault".
You have left Him. You stopped going to church.. So, respectively... you are the cause of your issues.. as we all are.

Get up, go to church... you don't have to talk to anyone. If someone approaches, be polite... If your bitter.. who's fault is that?

Go get the book "Telling Yourself the Truth" by William Backus and Marie Chapian.

This book set me straight as to what is my fault.. in my control... what to be concerned about and what to take ownership for.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Finding a church as I said not Lutheran or Catholic is a problem. There nothing but those churches around where I live.

Example here.
Liturgy
The left side is what I grew up with as a child forced to. I don't like that.
The right is like the last church I attended at "New Hope" Bay Ridge Brooklyn.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Delete.

 

[Take Heart]

Hey Tony, I admit that I dont usually go to a physical Church place, but I do watch services online that are live. If you are interested, I highly recommend checking out Home - Elevation Church Online or www.intouchministries.org

I'm not sure how old you are but you look to be around my age and the first link I sent is a Church mainly around our age so it may appeal to you more. Both links are great though. Anyway, I'd like to pray with you, if you dont mind. Please pray outloud with me:

Holy Father, I thank You for Tony Ramirez' life. Thank You for using others to reach out, speak, and help him through this website forum. Please forgive us of all our past sins, known and unknown, that we have committed. Thank You that Your Word says that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us our sins, that Your will is not that anyone should perish but have eternal life through Jesus Christ. We believe that You died and rose again in order for us to have forgiveness and redemption for our sins. We accept your forgiveness and ask You to come into our lives and do a mighty work of redemption, healing, and change in our hearts, minds, and lives from this moment on. Holy Spirit, change us. We ask for Your help. Lord, i pray that You will heal Tony's depression and fill in all areas of loneliness in his heart and life. I pray that, in time, you will connect him with godly friends who will encourage and help him in life. Strengthen his faith like never before, Lord.
Please protect him from the lies and schemes of the enemy. Renew his mind, Lord God, and keep him safe always. Please also heal the relationships between him and his family. In the Name of Jesus Christ we ask these things, Amen.

Be encouraged, Tony. Don't give up. You have breath and a heartbeat for a reason. It is not over. You still have purpose. God truly does love you and never meant you any harm. He wants you to spend time with Him and to know Him more..to know His heart and love for you so that you can be free from the lies that God doesnt care, that He doesnt see or hear your prayers because He does.

 

[Pastor.D.Paris]

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." seems like a cruel joke God keeps playing with my life.

I use to believe this but after losing the only friends I had about 15 years ago I stopped believing this. I have not been to church in 13 years matter of fact I have no church to even go though. I suffer major social issues "Aspergers" and evfen talking to strangers is very difficult. I use to be saved but now my heart is so bitter. I get upset over everything which rubs off with my family who hold grudges and don't believe in "forgive and forget" so no friends means I have the bitterness of my family to talk too who many times seem not to care or change the subject.

So it seems that I was "born again" 17 years ago but I am now "lost again".

Hi Mr.Ramirez,

I understand how you feel and why you feel this way and I sympathize with you.

It may have been 15 years ago
but your pain is still fresh as if it had just happened.

Death is obviously one path we are all going to cross for some its rather scary for others its simply part of life.

Either way, dealing with loss requires in itself quite some effort.

I myself lost my bestfriend 6 years ago.

But more than a friend, it was a brother, an angel whom never judged me, always showed compassion, the most reliable and honest person I then knew.

Each year, on my birthday ,he called me a few minutes before midnight to be the first to wish me happy birthday.

And many years have passed, no one can ever replace him, but he thought me that life was meant to be lived.

After his death, I made radical changes in my life, he died under 30 and was not even sick.

He died in his sleep ,his time had come.

I was the last phone called he attended.

But in reality, life must follow its course.

When someone dies we must remember that we are still alive.

And we don't know for how long.

God didn't forsake you, but your friend had to leave.

God lives everywhere he lived in your friend, he lives in new friends if you give them a chance.

It's true ,new friends may also die when you aren't ready to let go of them, but its not a reason to be affraid to make new bonds.

Its true the world is not all pink, and many people are careless hypocrites, but its not a reason to stop believing.

If you are bitter and feel lost, its because deep down ,you need to let go of your pain.

And its a process, it will not happen overnight.

But if you are willing, as a Pastor I will help you.

Again, I understand how you feel, I always think of my friend and I can relate to your loss but ,I want to help you be alive again, find joy instead of bitterness, you should never feel alone.

God is everywhere, if you are willing,he will show you that he hasn't forsaken you.

Life is not always fair Mr.Ramirez, nor is life always perfect, great and trouble free.

God never promised a perfect life however, he promised to be by our side in these difficulties that we face.

Be encouraged today.

And let me hear from you.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." seems like a cruel joke God keeps playing with my life.

I use to believe this but after losing the only friends I had about 15 years ago I stopped believing this. I have not been to church in 13 years matter of fact I have no church to even go though. I suffer major social issues "Aspergers" and even talking to strangers is very difficult. I use to be saved but now my heart is so bitter. I get upset over everything which rubs off with my family who hold grudges and don't believe in "forgive and forget" so no friends means I have the bitterness of my family to talk too who many times seem not to care or change the subject.

So it seems that I was "born again" 17 years ago but I am now "lost again".

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I found a church that I am going to and I am feeling better even trying to socialize more.