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Featured My life is a cruel joke.

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Tony Ramirez, Apr 13, 2019.

  1. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." seems like a cruel joke God keeps playing with my life.

    I use to believe this but after losing the only friends I had about 15 years ago I stopped believing this. I have not been to church in 13 years matter of fact I have no church to even go though. I suffer major social issues "Aspergers" and even talking to strangers is very difficult. I use to be saved but now my heart is so bitter. I get upset over everything which rubs off with my family who hold grudges and don't believe in "forgive and forget" so no friends means I have the bitterness of my family to talk too who many times seem not to care or change the subject.

    So it seems that I was "born again" 17 years ago but I am now "lost again".
     
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  2. My King and Lord

    My King and Lord Member

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    Well, it seems like you don't practice all that much. Do you pray? Do you fast? Do you read the Bible? As much as I want to, I can't even go to church. It's something I will have to wait a few years for. I don't have many friends in real life also. Maybe just one or two, but I barely talk with them. Go to the library or park and try to start up a conversation. If you live in a rural area, go to an urban area and meet people there. Christians seem to forget that christians never die. Your friend is with the Lord now, he has the most riches no man can ever have on earth. Pray to the Lord everyday, read the scriptures more, and start practice the religion of Christ more overall. Everything will be alright once you do that.
     
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  3. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal Supporter

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    Hey stranger,

    (I'm Crossbreed on Autism Forums.)

    The Bible says that your current ennui is a typical consequence of those who forsake going to church.
     
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  4. thecolorsblend

    thecolorsblend If God is your Father, who is your Mother?

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    I am not trying to be sarcastic so I hope this doesn't seem like sarcasm.

    But with what you wrote up there, it looks more like your ex-friends forsook you rather than God.

    I know what it's like to lose friends for the gospel. But remember that God promised to never leave you and never forsake you. Others may. But He won't.

    I don't know anything about what it's like to have your handicap. I have no useful advice for you with that. But I do urge you to remember God's promises. He loves you and He won't abandon you.

    Hang in there.
     
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  5. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    I have been taking daily walks trying to lose weigh after nearly passing out with back-pain wearing headphones and I have encounter some conversations pulling a wagon home I nearly tripped walking home and an young woman said "are you alright" I was shocked as I though people were "stuck up" as I was laughed at "high school"

    This happened in church once when I went and I got the same "are you alright".

    So before that I use to go out maybe once a month now going out more but still feel like an outcast like a fishbowl looking out at the joyful people.
     
  6. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    It's when we encounter loss and grief that we most need to believe in God's faithfulness. It's a hard lesson to learn, because it's when it's the hardest to believe. When my first church imploded I bailed on God, but He stuck with me and in due season I saw it and returned.

    I don't know anyone who isn't up against something, no matter how "have it all together" they might seem on the surface. Sooner or later, everyone will hear from life. But God is good, all the time. It's hard to go through trails on our own. We were not made to. Our strength is in God's faithfulness.

    Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. -ps27.10​
     
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  7. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    Christians I talk to online say to read a lot of passages from Psalms. I did but it still makes me feel lonely.
     
  8. maintenance man

    maintenance man Well-Known Member Supporter

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    This Christian will not tell you to read the Bible, go to Church, or pray.

    All those things are very important, but I don't think they are the solution to your problem.

    My suggestion would be to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others. Find ways to help other people. Volunteer someplace. Ask friends and family how you can help them. The more you help others the more you will find others interested in helping you. But don't help others because you want to get something in return - help with a pure heart - sincerely caring about others more than you care about yourself.

    I'm praying that you find a way out of this dark space and find a way to step into the light.
     
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  9. Apologetic_Warrior

    Apologetic_Warrior Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to CF, stick around here and chat awhile, you might find others in similar situations, and perhaps worse. Sorry about your struggles and how you feel, life is often cruel to so many of us, and it is so easy to become bitter. My thought and prayer right now is God would begin to soften your heart towards Him and restore His peace and comfort which surpasses understanding. May He bring you back to that place of remembering your first true love. May He remind you and bring understanding and slowness to anger in difficult times.

    Why did I choose to respond? Because out of personal experience of many many years in the past, my heart is near to people suffering with loneliness. I completely understand what that silent death feels like. I have been used and abused and forsaken by so many people, among other things. I too could easily give into bitterness, but the grace and mercies of God hold onto me and will not let go, and remind me of just how dependent I am on God. Without Him, I am nothing, like the grass that blows and the flowers that fade. May Christ grab ahold of you and not let go, Amen!
     
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  10. Apologetic_Warrior

    Apologetic_Warrior Well-Known Member

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    This may sound silly, but I've often found emotional comfort and strength in listening to music, it has a way of touching places in my soul where other methods miss. Maybe you're not musically inclined, I don't know, but I think about the effect David playing his instrument had on King Saul and cannot help but see power unseen there.

    The song "All Along the Watchtower" from 1968 by Jimi Hendrix (Bob Dylan) during the Vietnam War era comes to mind:

    The lyrics "there must be some way out of here" and "there are many here among us, who think that life is but a joke" come to mind, and this is the spirit of depression the anger and darkness of loneliness.



    On the flip side, I offer "The Lord of Patience" by Shai Linne



    Lyrics here below:

    "Heavenly Father, we come to You in the name of Jesus
    It's because of His righteousness that we pray You receive this
    Lord, you're holy, we shouldn't even be in Your presence
    Due to our sin, we don't deserve the least of Your blessings
    But through the cross and believing that Jesus is risen
    Even the worst of sinners can be redeemed and forgiven
    I'm living proof when I say this and these are truthful statements
    You're beautiful when displaying Your unusual patience
    You take the blasphemous- pridefully stuck in our blindness
    Instead of smashing us, decided to love us with kindness
    Even with unbelievers facing Your terror, You slow up
    Like when You waited patiently in the era of Noah
    We know that with You, a day is just like a thousand years
    So does that mean for every sin, You cry a thousand tears?
    Who can record Your graces? Adored through scores of ages
    Your reward is the nations, for You are the Lord of patience

    Our Sovereign God, You are
    The Lord of Patience, yeah
    Your wrath, Oh God, we deserve
    Christ has taken, yeah
    Gracious God, You are
    Slow to anger, yeah
    You're Lord of patience and
    You love us patiently

    Lord, we worship You, we know that everything we owe You
    And when we reflect on the time before we came to know You
    How we were unbelievers committing tons of treason
    We had a hundred reasons why we wouldn't come to Jesus
    But they were all excuses because our thoughts were useless
    That's what the dark produces, Father, You already knew this
    We were foolish and clueless, just as ruthless as Judas
    Who knew that You would choose to pursue us and move to woo us
    So after waiting with patience as we would run from You
    You activated our faith so that we would come to You
    Your law exposed our sin so that we would know the danger
    And take refuge in the Holy Savior who's slow to anger
    And as our teary eyes beheld the cross of our King
    We understood the true meaning of long-suffering
    Who can record Your graces? Adored through scores of ages
    Your reward is the nations, for You are the Lord of patience

    Our Sovereign God, You are
    The Lord of Patience, yeah
    Your wrath, Oh God, we deserve
    Christ has taken, yeah
    Gracious God, You are
    Slow to anger, yeah
    You're Lord of patience and
    You love us patiently

    And now that we're in Christ, the thing that is amazing to us
    Is that You still continue to display Your patience to us
    Through all our stumbles and falls and our idolatry
    Through all our grumbling and all of our hypocrisy
    Our self-righteousness, with brothers and sisters we're hostile
    Our unforgiveness- all because we're just missing the gospel
    We should be slow to anger, but Your Word- we're slow to hear it
    Oh Father, help us please! We truly need Your Holy Spirit!
    He is the only Person who can shape this fruit within us
    We praise the risen Savior who is able to present us
    Without an ounce of blame, with zero doubt or shame
    Lord Jesus, down You came from heaven to announce Your reign
    In the hearts of Your people, and now we have the truth
    And gladly choose to praise You for all of Your attributes
    Who can record Your graces? Adored through scores of ages
    Your reward is the nations, for You are the Lord of patience

    Our Sovereign God, You are
    The Lord of Patience, yeah
    Your wrath, Oh God, we deserve
    Christ has taken, yeah
    Gracious God, You are
    Slow to anger, yeah
    You're Lord of patience and
    You love us patiently"

    May God be glorified through the foolishness of my pathetic efforts and may He use the words to touch hearts in ways only He can do.
     
  11. Lost4words

    Lost4words Like a puppy, i need guidance. Supporter

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    Offer up your day, your sufferings, your health, your thoughts to God. Lay it all at His feet. Ask that His will be done.

    As you carry your cross, Jesus is carrying you my friend.

    You are not alone. There are many that are lonely etc. I myself am.

    Be strong. Keep turning to God. However hard it gets.

    Dear Lord my God. Please help our dear brother in his daily struggles. Wrap him in Your loving arms. Help him to accomplish what he desires in life.
     
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  12. Invalidusername

    Invalidusername Well-Known Member

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    I share similar experience. I was born again 10 years ago but I was bitter like you and I think I'm lost again too. Hope you recover. Bless you.
     
  13. NBB

    NBB Well-Known Member

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    I have autism too. Don't allow your sufferings become an excuse for not seeking God and try to live the christian life, he can be the perfect company, and he is a very important person of course, who can help you, and trying to be faithful to him has rewards, then when you think all you suffered because autism, you can take comfort that you have God by your side, time you were not paying attention to God and doing you own thing is time wasted.
     
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  14. Messerve

    Messerve Active Member

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    I've gotten this advice myself a lot, and it's not bad advice but I think in the case of myself and Mr. Ramirez it is simply more complex. There is a fear of people combined with bitterness and a lack of interest in forming relationships deep down because of past experiences. But despite not particularly liking being close to people, we still feel lonely and abandoned. It feels like there's no solution, because the solution is something we actively reject as a means of emotional self-protection.

    So, Tony, first of all you're not alone in feeling the way you do. I have a single friend in the area and we hardly see each other. I go to the store to buy food, the hardware store to get things for home projects, etc. But at the end of the day, it's a relief to close myself up inside my house, lock the door, and hope no one will bother me because I don't feel like I have the mental acuity and energy to respond to people the way they expect.

    Even when I simply hear people in the apartments around me, it unnerves me and I feel vulnerable and exposed. And when I happen to actually interact with someone, I feel like I'm stumbling over my words as I try to answer their questions, and my thoughts are all over the place, and I'm wondering if they're noticing my lazy eye and, and why did they have to catch me in my dirty work clothes, and I'm hoping to get back to my cave very quickly without being rude. :D

    But what has helped me are the things I can't avoid. Work, a volunteer position I took at church, having to go shopping now and then, getting gas for my car, etc. I'm still pretty quiet at work, but I'm liked by the others generally, so I get included in fun conversations sometimes and everyone treats me as a normal human being. At church, I'm sometimes late to do what I volunteered for, which makes me feel really bad, but at the very least it forces me out of my home on Sundays and interacting with other Christians, which is a very positive thing. I admittedly avoid stores as soon as the workers and cashiers begin to recognize me, so I should stop worrying about that...

    The more you get out the more you realize, from a distance everyone seems happy, but they're really not. Sit in a park for awhile and just observe. I'm pretty sure you'll notice someone who's not having a good day - a mother angry at her children, someone who's just tired for whatever reason, someone who's walking or jogging to lose weight like yourself (in other words, probably not happy with themselves)... And the fact that Aspergers has a name, means there are plenty of people in your position.

    So, I would recommend getting back to church - one that really studies the Bible. If people bring their own Bibles to church, that's a very positive sign. I think you'll find a lot of people who really care, plus many pastors will do counseling and maybe you can talk to one about your struggles.

    God doesn't leave us or forsake us. If you aren't praying or attending church, then you've forsaken Him. Don't let your bitterness keep you from seeing His loving wisdom. There's always more to our story than what we see at first.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2019
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  15. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    I think everyone is happy in real life except me however I am starting to realize it might not be true.

    I watch some videos on YouTube sleep type videos to release stress and they even say there lives are stressful mentally and socially. I thought appearance there lives were perfect.
     
  16. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

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    If you can walk away from Christ after just those things happening to you, then I would look a bit deeper into the strength of your own conversion to Christ. You may discover that you received "religion" in the form of church, the pastor, even Christian friends, rather than Christ Himself.

    I have had friends leave me, churches fail me, back pain, depression, redundancy, six years not going to church, and yet none of these things have ever made me even think about walking away from Christ and believing that I am no longer born again.

    Goodness me! I went through a divorce after being deserted by my first wife just because she didn't want to be married to me any longer...and she was a committed Christian! Beat that! And you know what happened when I saw her car disappearing down the road and knowing that I might never see her or my four year old daughter again? Jesus came, put His hand on my shoulder, and said, "I am you refuge and strength. A very present help in time of trouble."

    He got me through the absolute worst period in my life when my whole life as I knew it was down the tubes: home, marriage, parenthood, and ministry.

    I think what you experienced was a bit of a bee sting in comparison to the seven years of storm and stress I had to experience when I found myself suddenly single again, living in a one room, grotty flat in the city, all alone, and then having to rebuild my life from scratch, using all my life savings to go to university to make a new career for myself.

    So, examine yourself. Who are you converted to? A church? Christian friends? The pastor? Or are you converted to Christ, knowing that you are filled with the Spirit, hearing His voice? Knowing Him as a person? If not, then get seeking God through prayer and reading of the Bible until you know that you are really in the faith, and not just having some form of "churchianity".

    Sorry to be so hard on you, but someone has to be. "The wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).
     
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  17. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    Thanks. Even at church they said did you come for God and Christ or for social I came for both but growing up only with my family I get lonely.

    I guess when the friends coupled up and said they wanted to hang with couples which hurt to hear. Also having so call colleagues friends that you only hang out in a group did not help either. I predict back then 2019 I would have been living on my own in friendships but that fell apart because of my stupid Aspergers.

    I do get that God did not abandon me people did but what gets me angry is why did God make it happen.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2019
  18. Apologetic_Warrior

    Apologetic_Warrior Well-Known Member

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    ^ This, thank you for putting into words so well what I could not articulate. After awhile a person may come to mostly accept loneliness to the point of it becoming comfortable, as the normal pattern of life. Anything outside of the lonely experience becomes uncomfortable, even if social interaction is what we really need the most. In my case, the need for a job caused or pushed me out of my comfort zone and consequently placed me into a position of being reached. I think the situation you've described is becoming more of a common problem as society becomes increasingly isolated by easy and instant access to all manner of entertaining virtual escapes. Problem is, human beings were created for social interaction (especially with God), we need one another, we hate to admit it, but we really do, and that is all the more reason why on one hand we become comfortable with the loneliness, and at the same time be dissatisfied, discontent, and angry about the situation, especially in the presence of others enjoying a healthy social life, and especially reminders of that special intimacy between couples, it can easily become temptation to be filled with envy, covetousness and pile on to the misery. People forget the REASON God created Eve...He did so because He could see that Adam...was lonely. May God have mercy on His lonely children, amen.
     
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  19. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    God did not make it happen. He doesn't force people to do things. God created man with free will. The first man sinned, and sin spread to all men (Romans 5). Consequently we are all self-centered and morally weak. It takes training in godliness to mature and overcome this.

    God so often gets blamed for everything. But when you see that the mess this world is in is not His fault, you are able to understand that He does truly love us and has provided a way for us out of sin and death. That way is the completed work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and He not only gets us to heaven, He gets heaven into us so that we can overcome the world here and now.
     
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  20. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez New Member

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    Also to rub it in now I remember the friends that became a couple moved to Staten Island so Aspergers was not blamed for that. What it was blamed was I could not maintain any new friendships.
     
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