My kids deserve better

Beautyinsteadofashes

Well-Known Member
Supporter
May 16, 2017
450
934
36
Mathews
✟271,206.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
It’s just the honest truth, I feel that my kids deserve a better mother than me. There are moments, like when my daughter hugs her brother, tells him she loves him, then kisses him, that I think “I must be doing something right”. One thing at least.
There are also times when I get a good chewing out from my mother on how horrible a parent I am. It’s especially at these times when I feel that my kids deserve better.
But a part of me thinks...if I’m so awful then why did God give these children to me? I feel as though I’ve been blessed with what I do not deserve. But certainly God knows what He is doing right? With a different mother, my kids would not be who they are. They wouldn’t look (adorable) or act (silly and hyper but sweet) the way they do. Being who I am makes them who they are. And they are precious children.
I guess somewhere inside I know God gave these kids specifically to me for a good reason. It just gets a little hard sometimes believing I’m good enough to deserve them.
Any other parents ever feel this way?
 

thecolorsblend

If God is your Father, who is your Mother?
Supporter
Jul 1, 2013
9,199
8,425
Gotham City, New Jersey
✟308,231.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
I know somebody who got grief all the time from his mother about his supposedly questionable fathering skills. After the 6 millionth time, he blew up a little bit. He told his mother to go ahead and say it. Speak her mind. Tell him every little fault he has as a father. As a bonus, he even promised to not argue any of it with his mother. He would simply listen and not respond.

But the condition he laid out was that once she had finished speaking her mind, he would tell her every single fault she has as a mother.

She stopped shooting her mouth to him after that, for some reason.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Kenny'sID

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 28, 2016
18,185
7,001
69
USA
✟585,304.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
My mother didn't exactly help me to have confidence in myself. And thinking back there were times when she was just wrong, hands down. There was a time when I could do nothing right it seemed like. Of course the grudge I held from her remarrying starting at 9yrs of age probably didn't help matters, but still. Fortunately, before the divorce she did a pretty good job, so all is well.

Point being, not sure what your mom is going on about, but might be wise to take it with a grain of salt...you should be able to tell if she has any valid points or not..
 
  • Like
Reactions: mama2one
Upvote 0

JAM2b

Newbie
Sep 20, 2014
1,822
1,913
✟93,117.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Divorced
Every child needs better because there are no perfect parents and we live in a corrupt and violent world.

There are very few parents who think they are good parents all the time. Healthy parents realize they try their best, but will make mistakes or drop the ball from time to time.

Therefore a good parent is not defined by perfection, but by honesty, love, and a having a humble and teachable spirit.

Any parent who claims to be a wonderful mom or dad or that they have it all together is either lying or delusional.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: mama2one
Upvote 0

cacemf

Active Member
Supporter
Mar 3, 2018
49
85
Washington, DC
✟56,686.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
It’s just the honest truth, I feel that my kids deserve a better mother than me. There are moments, like when my daughter hugs her brother, tells him she loves him, then kisses him, that I think “I must be doing something right”. One thing at least.
There are also times when I get a good chewing out from my mother on how horrible a parent I am. It’s especially at these times when I feel that my kids deserve better.
But a part of me thinks...if I’m so awful then why did God give these children to me? I feel as though I’ve been blessed with what I do not deserve. But certainly God knows what He is doing right? With a different mother, my kids would not be who they are. They wouldn’t look (adorable) or act (silly and hyper but sweet) the way they do. Being who I am makes them who they are. And they are precious children.
I guess somewhere inside I know God gave these kids specifically to me for a good reason. It just gets a little hard sometimes believing I’m good enough to deserve them.
Any other parents ever feel this way?

I think we all go through that Beautyinsteadofashes. Parenting isn't an easy job, and I say to you what I say to many, maybe you don't do everything right, but you don't do everything wrong either. I think we all get it right and wrong, but we do our best with what we have. I'm sure you love your kids and do the best you can and that's what counts.
 
Upvote 0

mama2one

Well-Known Member
Apr 8, 2018
9,161
10,089
U.S.A.
✟257,683.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
.And they are precious children.

so sorry your mom has been critical of your parenting

it sounds like you love your children and want the best for them and you are it!
you're their mom and children are a blessing!
so continue on and love them as you do
(and try to ignore the criticism as best you can)
 
Upvote 0

Mayflower1

Hello my Name is "Child of the One True King"
Supporter
Dec 2, 2005
21,415
3,986
Heaven of course!
✟117,693.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
You know your kids better then anyone else. Yep, even momma. So if they are well cared for with all the necessities and you are praying for guidance to help teach your kids in the way they ought to go, then give yourself a break momma. :) I am a first time mom. I have a 6 month old little girl and can sometimes feel inadequate, because I am learning quite a bit and know I will make mistakes. But I am learning not to take things to heart when people don't agree with me on some parenting things, because momma knows best. :) At least in things I research and have made educated guesses on. lol
 
Upvote 0

mama2one

Well-Known Member
Apr 8, 2018
9,161
10,089
U.S.A.
✟257,683.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I learning not to take things to heart when people don't agree with me on some parenting things, because momma knows best. :) At least in things I research and have made educated guesses on. lol

good for you for learning not to take things to heart and doing the best for your child


keep up the good work, lily!
 
Last edited:
  • Friendly
Reactions: Mayflower1
Upvote 0

Ichthymom

Member
Jul 26, 2018
10
12
Pontiac
✟9,302.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
It’s just the honest truth, I feel that my kids deserve a better mother than me. There are moments, like when my daughter hugs her brother, tells him she loves him, then kisses him, that I think “I must be doing something right”. One thing at least.
There are also times when I get a good chewing out from my mother on how horrible a parent I am. It’s especially at these times when I feel that my kids deserve better.
But a part of me thinks...if I’m so awful then why did God give these children to me? I feel as though I’ve been blessed with what I do not deserve. But certainly God knows what He is doing right? With a different mother, my kids would not be who they are. They wouldn’t look (adorable) or act (silly and hyper but sweet) the way they do. Being who I am makes them who they are. And they are precious children.
I guess somewhere inside I know God gave these kids specifically to me for a good reason. It just gets a little hard sometimes believing I’m good enough to deserve them.
Any other parents ever feel this way?
I don't think we are ever "good enough" for anything, really. God blesses us with more than we can ever deserve, and that's good enough for me.
You might be taking the criticism too close to the heart. Everyone has their own standard of a "good" parent that we will never 100% reach. I'm sure you are doing a great job as your children's mom because of your concerns on here.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums