my husband hit me.

Lacey31

Member
Apr 23, 2006
10
1
Oklahoma
Visit site
✟135.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I'm not wanting pity, I just need a place to vent. Yesterday we closed on our first new house. We have both been super stressed out. This morning I got out of the shower and he was yelling at me so I told him that I would just stay here and he could go live in the new house. And he started slapping me over and over and over until I fell and then I got away to go to the bathroom because I was shocked and hurting and crying. And he starts screaming at me and saying how he will never have any feelings for me ever again and telling me I am a psycho and that I WILL start listening to him and obeying him. He was yelling at me because the house was messy (we are in the very middle of moving and I have been the only person packing and I'm also a part time nurse and have 2 kids that I've been running all over). He's been off work for 2 days and didn't even put a single thing in a box. I'm still in shock and hurt by his words and actions. I've literally given every cent I have to this house and have no money to go away with. Does anyone have any advice? Please pray for him if you get time through the week.
thanks for reading, again, I don't want pity, I just am lost and don't know what to do now. I just signed a life long financial commitment with him for this house and now he thinks he can start this. :doh:

Lacey
 
  • Like
Reactions: SweetBella

MERCY@GRACE

Well-Known Member
Jan 1, 2005
2,351
165
✟3,309.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Lacey31 said:
I'm not wanting pity, I just need a place to vent. Yesterday we closed on our first new house. We have both been super stressed out. This morning I got out of the shower and he was yelling at me so I told him that I would just stay here and he could go live in the new house. And he started slapping me over and over and over until I fell and then I got away to go to the bathroom because I was shocked and hurting and crying. And he starts screaming at me and saying how he will never have any feelings for me ever again and telling me I am a psycho and that I WILL start listening to him and obeying him. He was yelling at me because the house was messy (we are in the very middle of moving and I have been the only person packing and I'm also a part time nurse and have 2 kids that I've been running all over). He's been off work for 2 days and didn't even put a single thing in a box. I'm still in shock and hurt by his words and actions. I've literally given every cent I have to this house and have no money to go away with. Does anyone have any advice? Please pray for him if you get time through the week.
thanks for reading, again, I don't want pity, I just am lost and don't know what to do now. I just signed a life long financial commitment with him for this house and now he thinks he can start this. :doh:

Lacey

How long have you been married and has he done this before?
 
Upvote 0

TexasSky

Senior Veteran
Mar 6, 2006
7,265
1,014
Texas
✟12,139.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Lacey31 said:
I'm not wanting pity, I just need a place to vent. Yesterday we closed on our first new house. We have both been super stressed out. This morning I got out of the shower and he was yelling at me so I told him that I would just stay here and he could go live in the new house. And he started slapping me over and over and over until I fell and then I got away to go to the bathroom because I was shocked and hurting and crying. And he starts screaming at me and saying how he will never have any feelings for me ever again and telling me I am a psycho and that I WILL start listening to him and obeying him. He was yelling at me because the house was messy (we are in the very middle of moving and I have been the only person packing and I'm also a part time nurse and have 2 kids that I've been running all over). He's been off work for 2 days and didn't even put a single thing in a box. I'm still in shock and hurt by his words and actions. I've literally given every cent I have to this house and have no money to go away with. Does anyone have any advice? Please pray for him if you get time through the week.
thanks for reading, again, I don't want pity, I just am lost and don't know what to do now. I just signed a life long financial commitment with him for this house and now he thinks he can start this. :doh:

Lacey

Lacey,

Contact your Pastor, and ask him to intervene with your spouse. The bible says that men should love their wives as Christ loves the church. Christ DIED for the church.

In the mean time, get yourself to a safe place. If you cannot stay where you are, try a women's shelter for abused women.

Talk to an attorney about the contracts on the house. In a divorce, if you give him the house, you can be freed of debt responsibility on it, but I am hoping that you can save the marriage with loads of counseling for him. (Anger management being one.)
 
Upvote 0

MERCY@GRACE

Well-Known Member
Jan 1, 2005
2,351
165
✟3,309.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Lacey31 said:
my husband wants nothing to do with my church, I've asked him to go to counseling with me in the past and he absolutely refuses. He does not think that he's done anything wrong.

That's kinda hard to believe. If he's never hit you in the 4 yrs of marriage, and this is the first time, he would be apologetic wouldn't he? So do you want to leave him?
 
Upvote 0

Lacey31

Member
Apr 23, 2006
10
1
Oklahoma
Visit site
✟135.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I'm sorry if it's un-believable, he's always had an anger problem but never hit me. he is bipolar and I've always known this, and I thought before that counseling would help. I don't know wether I want to leave him or not, but I am not really concerned about my feeling right now, I want to do God's will.
 
Upvote 0

MERCY@GRACE

Well-Known Member
Jan 1, 2005
2,351
165
✟3,309.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Lacey31 said:
I'm sorry if it's un-believable, he's always had an anger problem but never hit me. he is bipolar and I've always known this, and I thought before that counseling would help. I don't know wether I want to leave him or not, but I am not really concerned about my feeling right now, I want to do God's will.

Is he off his meds? Yes domestic violence is BAD, and should always be a big no-no. Anyone in a pattern of abuse should seek safety until things can be worked out, but if he's not acknowledging anything is wrong, how can things be worked out. Was he off his meds?

We can't give you the answer only God can. Get alone with him and listen to what he is saying:pray:
'
 
Upvote 0

c1ners

Senior Contributor
Dec 12, 2005
14,753
1,725
59
US
✟30,977.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I will say a prayer for both you and your husband.
Buying a new home and moving is very stressful,
but that doesn't give him an excuse to hit you.
You need to sit down with him tonight (after he's had a chance to calm down), and talk about it.
Let him know that you will not accept that kind of behavior.
If he's bi-polar he probably doesn't even relize what he's done yet is wrong. If he doesn't get better try to get him into the doctors to see about upping his medication level.

My prayers are with you. :prayer:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Entertaining_Angels

Well-Known Member
Aug 12, 2004
6,104
565
east coast
✟16,475.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I've seen this enough times now to know you need to file a police report. Believe me, you may not think it is necessary but it may very well be needed later. If you ever divorce or he leaves you, he may try to keep the children. You really need that 'evidence' otherwise it is your word against his word. Also, what he did was illegal and if you don't take serious steps from the getgo with this, you're putting yourself and your children at risk. Often women won't realize that when abuse first starts and you do need to be strong right now and do the right thing.

God bless.
 
Upvote 0

Telrunya

Student of the Word
Jun 24, 2004
1,906
120
54
Bainbridge Island Washington St.
✟2,747.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
Lacey leave him immediately. I'm just talking about getting away from him not divorce at this point. He DEFINATELY needs to know what is did is completely unacceptable even once. If he wants you back then he's going to have to change. Counciling and church have to become non negotiables IE He will go or you wont come back. My wife is bipolar so I know how that affects them and your marriage. Bring bipolar means they have extra strong emotions, they hit the extreems with very little inbetween. It does NOT mean that they have no self control though. He is not an animal and has no right or excuse to act like one. I'm praying for you. Please keep us posted on whats going on so we will know how best to pray for you.

Filing a police report is also a smart move.
 
  • Like
Reactions: free4all
Upvote 0

fieldmouse3

Contributor
Feb 14, 2002
5,562
60
42
Washington State
Visit site
✟8,313.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I agree with everyone else who's said to get help. I don't care if it's the first time or the 40th time it's happened, hitting is NEVER appropriate, and you need to show him that it won't be happening again. I hope there's somewhere you can go to get help in your area!
 
Upvote 0

Lacey31

Member
Apr 23, 2006
10
1
Oklahoma
Visit site
✟135.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
thank you guys for your advice and your non-judgemental replies. My husband did call and apologize and I told him that I accepted his apology but what he did was wrong and we needed to do some major work on our relationship and so we're planning on talking about our problems the next time he is home (he works days at a time and isn't home a lot). Anyway, you were right, I do need to seek God in this, I just needed to see what the general opinion was when something like this happened. I would rather hear the opinion of christian friends then that of non-christian people :) Thanks so much. I look forward to getting to know you all a lot better :)

Lacey
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Robinsegg

SuperMod L's
Supporter
Mar 1, 2006
14,765
607
Near the Mississippi
✟63,126.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
With all else that's been said (and yes, I agree with both getting to safety and filing a police report), I'll add this:

Can you get counselling for yourself? Even if your husband won't go right now, maybe you could counsel with your pastor on how to deal with your husband and your own emotions right now?

Rachel
 
Upvote 0
B

belladonic-haze

Guest
Lacey31 said:
I'm not wanting pity, I just need a place to vent. Yesterday we closed on our first new house. We have both been super stressed out. This morning I got out of the shower and he was yelling at me so I told him that I would just stay here and he could go live in the new house. And he started slapping me over and over and over until I fell and then I got away to go to the bathroom because I was shocked and hurting and crying. And he starts screaming at me and saying how he will never have any feelings for me ever again and telling me I am a psycho and that I WILL start listening to him and obeying him. He was yelling at me because the house was messy (we are in the very middle of moving and I have been the only person packing and I'm also a part time nurse and have 2 kids that I've been running all over). He's been off work for 2 days and didn't even put a single thing in a box. I'm still in shock and hurt by his words and actions. I've literally given every cent I have to this house and have no money to go away with. Does anyone have any advice? Please pray for him if you get time through the week.
thanks for reading, again, I don't want pity, I just am lost and don't know what to do now. I just signed a life long financial commitment with him for this house and now he thinks he can start this. :doh:

Lacey

Leave him, do not let yourself be abused in anyway by this man (I have a few other words in mind...but hey....) You are worth of being loved, respected and treated with dignity and he doesn't understand the meaning of that. Do not get yourself tangled in a web of abuse.........

:prayer:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

TexasSky

Senior Veteran
Mar 6, 2006
7,265
1,014
Texas
✟12,139.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Lacey31 said:
my husband wants nothing to do with my church, I've asked him to go to counseling with me in the past and he absolutely refuses. He does not think that he's done anything wrong.

Make counseling a condition of ever returning to him.

Tell him that whether he thinks he did wrong or not is no longer an issue. You will not return, and he will not see his children unless he agrees to counseling.

And file a police report.
 
Upvote 0