My heart is tied to the wrong person

[vlisco]

Hello guys..
I'm single but currently very confused about who to finally settle down with.
There are very good and attractive ladies in my life that i'ad love to marry but I'm unable to make progress because of one particular lady whom my parents forcefully want me to marry. The issue is I don't like this lady or have attraction for her. But my parents refuse to accept this and have resorted to serious/dangerous prayers( they are ministers) to make me love this girl.. Since then I'm strangely beginning to feel my heart like amd care for her although i still don't find her attractive to keep me married to her for life.
I have equally very good options, who are both attractive to me and have good character just like the one I'm being asked to marry.. I want one of these ladies but the thought of letting the other one go is very heart breaking too since I've come to like her..(still dont have any attractive feelings for her)
Please what should I do.. How do I go about making a decision since I don't have to keep any of them waiting.. I might even end up losing all of them..

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Remain in constant prayer, and honor your parents.

 

[vlisco]

Remain in constant prayer, and honor your parents.

My parents are not aware of these equally good ladies in my life.. Funny thing is one of these ladies is a daughter of one of their own very good minister friends.. Once they get to know this, I'm certain they will be confused also.. I think they rushed in finding someone for me and now I feel very stuck not attracted to her but strangely like her because of their prayers

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

My parents are not aware of these equally good ladies in my life.. Funny thing is one of these ladies is a daughter of one of their own very good minister friends.. Once they get to know this, I'm certain they will be confused also.. I think they rushed in finding someone for me and now I feel very stuck not attracted to her but strangely like her because of their prayers

Is anything of this/ of anything, sufficient reason to disobey Yahuweh Sovereign Creator and possibly not receive the promise from His "first commandment with promise" (I think it is called somewhere) i.e. "Honor your father and your mother that it may be well with thee,
... ... ... "

I believe when the Creator of all things in the Universe gives a Word "that it may be well with thee...." it is potentially a grave mistake to ignore Him.

 

[John P. Alexander]

This isn't medieval Europe or the Middle East. Your parents don't get to choose your spouse or force you to marry anyone.

 

[vlisco]

This isn't medieval Europe or the Middle East. Your parents don't get to choose your spouse or force you to marry anyone.

Thank you...
Now how do I untangle my heart from her and be free

 

[John P. Alexander]

Thank you...
Now how do I untangle my heart from her and be free

I don't think it's the prayers of your parents, who are trying to force this upon you, that's causing you to believe you're opening up to the idea of caring for the woman. Rather I believe it's you subconsciously trying your best to please your parents. The solution is to get into a relationship with one of the women you actually like and all of this will cease.

 

[vlisco]

I don't think it's the prayers of your parents, who are trying to force this upon you, that's causing you to believe you're opening up to the idea of caring for the woman. Rather I believe it's you subconsciously trying your best to please your parents. The solution is to get into a relationship with one of the women you actually like and all of this will cease.

That's what I can't seem to do.. Getting into a relationship with them and the thought of living the other lady.. There's something strong pulling me back to her...
I know for certain it's the prayers because I have not in any way tried to please my parents on this.. I have actually rebelled on this matter and that's when they resorted to those dangerous prayers..
Will God untangle this if u pray back?

 

[paul1149]

Will God untangle this if u pray back?

God is not going to override your will on this or anything else. It is up to you to decide whom to marry. That is the only interpretation consistent with Genesis 2: "a man will leave his parents and cling to his wife".

Let's say that your parents see something in this girl that they believe would be good for you, so they pray that your heart will be open to her. Fair enough, but your description that their prayers "make" you love her is either inaccurate, or in fact there is witchcraft afoot. The decisions is yours and yours alone, and you should have peace about whatever you decide (see last part of James 3 for the characteristics of heavenly wisdom). Godly prayers can help you see more clearly so as to make a better decision, but they cannot commandeer your will.

 

[Greengardener]

I find myself wondering not only about how I would feel were you my son writing but also wondering how I would feel were it my daughter as one of the women you mentioned. Once you make the decision, may it last for a lifetime. Every friend/brother/sister is precious, but it's best to keep it to one spouse. It's always a good idea to just be friends until you receive the clarity you seek. As our brother noted previously, it's your choice, it's wise to consider that your parents who love you want you to have a successful and stable marriage, and I'd add that if you seek first how to live under God's rule, as Jesus said (seek first the kingdom), the other things are somehow easier to sort through. Perhaps the answer is just to wait. I hope you find a good answer.

 

[vlisco]

I find myself wondering not only about how I would feel were you my son writing but also wondering how I would feel were it my daughter as one of the women you mentioned. Once you make the decision, may it last for a lifetime. Every friend/brother/sister is precious, but it's best to keep it to one spouse. It's always a good idea to just be friends until you receive the clarity you seek. As our brother noted previously, it's your choice, it's wise to consider that your parents who love you want you to have a successful and stable marriage, and I'd add that if you seek first how to live under God's rule, as Jesus said (seek first the kingdom), the other things are somehow easier to sort through. Perhaps the answer is just to wait. I hope you find a good answer.

Thank you

 

[bèlla]

Greetings,

How are you engaging with these ladies where three options exist? Character is an important facet of discernment. But it isn’t the lone consideration. What degree of involvement have you permitted to arrive at this point?

I suspect your confusion has less to do with parental involvement but too many selections before your eyes. Do the ladies reciprocate your interest? What have you done to gauge their suitability as a spouse?

~Bella

 

[vlisco]

Greetings,

How are you engaging with these ladies where three options exist? Character is an important facet of discernment. But it isn’t the lone consideration. What degree of involvement have you permitted to arrive at this point?

I suspect your confusion has less to do with parental involvement but too many selections before your eyes. Do the ladies reciprocate your interest? What have you done to gauge their suitability as a spouse?

~Bella

Greetings,

How are you engaging with these ladies where three options exist? Character is an important facet of discernment. But it isn’t the lone consideration. What degree of involvement have you permitted to arrive at this point?

I suspect your confusion has less to do with parental involvement but too many selections before your eyes. Do the ladies reciprocate your interest? What have you done to gauge their suitability as a spouse?

~Bella

At the moment I only talk to them mostly on phone.. And they seem to reciprocate my interest in them eventhough I have not proposed to any of them yet...

 

[Joined2krist]

Did you finally chose one of them?