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my girlfriend has ED? *trigger?*

Discussion in 'Eating Disorders' started by UndeservedGrace, May 24, 2007.

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  1. UndeservedGrace

    UndeservedGrace New Member

    15
    +0
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Hello! I'm new here!
    I have spent this afternoon reading many threads in this forum!

    I've found out # months ago that my girlfriend was vomiting! when I discovered it I immediately went to talk to her!
    she said she was doing it for a month and she was doing it because she wanted to become prettier for the summer!
    she said that she had no ED because she had control over it, and because she didn't binge!

    I don't know what to do!!!!

    She asked me not to tell anyone!!

    Can this be consdered an ED?

    I tried to seek a professional but I was looking for a christian one but in my country there are only some and they all know my girlfriend!

    What can I do? Should I do nothing?

    we talk sometimes about it! but she hides me many things, and I think that this is really affecting our relationship!

    No idea what to do!

    would appreciate any kind of help! even the most important (prayer)

    thanks
     
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  2. bumblebee62331

    bumblebee62331 Well-Known Member

    +827
    Anglican
    Private
    First off I think it's great you want to support and help your girlfriend. If she is throwing up her food then it's a chance it's an ED. It doesn't matter if she thinks she has control over it and it's got nothing to do with binging - it's possible to be bulimic without binging. And if she thinks she has control over it, tell her to stop doing it and never do it again. After a while she'll realise that it has control over her, not the other way round.

    You do need to talk to a professional. It's too bad they know her, but it's their job to help and they might be the only ones who can help her. It's great they are Christian - they will be able to help her from a Christian perspective. I think you do need to talk to a professional about your girlfriend. She said not to tell anyone, but as it's been said before, it's better to have a healthy, angry girlfriend than an unhealthy, anorexic/bulimic girlfriend. She needs help and she just might not know how to ask for it. :hug:
     
  3. UndeservedGrace

    UndeservedGrace New Member

    15
    +0
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Thanks
    and another thing her father is a pastor!
    I really don't know If telling him is the right thing to do but at the moment I'm not considering it!
    Okay so I need to find a professional but she won't want to come! what can I do?
    Should I go by myself?
    and another thing! I don't Know how to put this matter in the hands of God! I mean what can I ask of him? wierd question I know!
    Thank you very much for your answer!
     
  4. bumblebee62331

    bumblebee62331 Well-Known Member

    +827
    Anglican
    Private
    I would suggest sitting down with your girlfriend and asking her to come and see a therapist with you. Offer your support. If she doesn't want to go, tell her that you will have to go alone because you can't deal with this on your own - you shouldn't have to. I don't know how old you are, but regardless, you shouldn't have to deal with this on your own, especially if it continues and gets worse. I would suggest talking to a professional in confidence (private) first before involving her father, depending on your girlfriend's age. If she is an adult, then I would try to get her to talk to a therapist first, and if she isn't an adult then her parents need to know.

    Please take everything I say with a grain of salt because this might not be the advice other people give you. At least if you talk to a professional he/she will be able to give you advice as to whether to tell her father etc. They will take it out of your hands.

    Praying with your girlfriend is a good idea. Ask God to take control of the situation and show your girlfriend that what she is doing is unhealthy. Ask Him for support and guidance and strength to know what is right and what is wrong, and also strength to admit there might be something wrong, and seek help. :hug:
     
  5. UndeservedGrace

    UndeservedGrace New Member

    15
    +0
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Yes thank you very much! I'm nineteen and she's sixteen!
    I don't know how to find a therapist! Maybe I'll begin with a non christian one at my university! i's easier and I guess it's free!
    thank for the praying tips! :)
    Bless you sister! see you in heaven! :D
     
  6. the_box_of_giggles

    the_box_of_giggles SuperGirl

    +25
    Methodist
    Single
     
  7. UndeservedGrace

    UndeservedGrace New Member

    15
    +0
    Christian
    In Relationship
    of course I don't know exactly!
    But I think He would put her daughter first!
    Be blessed
     
  8. the_box_of_giggles

    the_box_of_giggles SuperGirl

    +25
    Methodist
    Single
    Her parents are a special case though.
     
  9. Daysoni

    Daysoni ****See me, Hear me, Hold me.****

    +220
    Christian
    Single
    Even if your girl friend isn't binging it is still an eating disorder. I have delt with and eating disorder since #rd grade and I'm sad to say that we all say at one time or another I have this under control. But we don't we don't control our ED it controls us. It says alot that she is willing to talk to you even a little. Most of the time we hide it. Untill you can find someone to help her here on earth we can all pray for the two of you God is there and here and he see's her pain. Alot of the time an Ed is our way of masking something else. Anything that we don't want to deal with. For now just let her know that you are here for her and keep the lines of comunication open with her. Maybe you could show her the forums. It may be a release for her and a way to find encouragement,,, Praying for the # of you.....
     
  10. Nobility

    Nobility Guest

    +0
    Completely agree with this advice :hug:

    My main piece of advice is PLEASE don't carry this on your own sholders... Talk to someone you trust about it. Whether thats our mum or dad, or counsellor, or trusted adult friend.. You need some support too so you don't burn out in trying to help her :hug:
     
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