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My father is drinking again

Discussion in 'Trauma, PTSD & Dissociation' started by Pearl7, Oct 17, 2021.

  1. Pearl7

    Pearl7 New Member

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    He used to drink for almost 20 years, when God made a miracle. Lots of people were praying and fasting for him to stop, and he suddenly had a health problem and was told to stop drinking or he will die. His liver was very damaged, he then for 6 years didn't drink. The change was great but he remained pretty aggressive and even being sober he wanted to beat me for nothing. I moved out. I think he forgot how scared he was back then, his liver became 100% healthy although he had lot of health problems, God helped him a lot, and he started to drink again this year. I am very sad and I don't understand God. I don't understand why He let him be clean just so that he can start again, I don't have the nerves anymore.
    Please pray for us.
     
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  2. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    God is telling you that people can relapse. It's a good lesson to learn and has lasting value.
     
  3. Stabat

    Stabat Stat Crux, dum volvitur orbis Supporter

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    You're father drank for years, but suddenly stopped. You prayed for him and God obviously did some work on your father. That being said, your father quit drinking on his own. It was his decition and God may have led him towards soberness, but ultimately it was your fathers own Choice to make. The same goes for his relapse. God is not to blame. God only move peoples heart, but our answer to his touch is for ourselves to decide.

    Why did he relapse? Has there been something happening to him, or upsetting him lately? Usually people relaps for a reason after that many years.
     
  4. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Simul Justus et Peccator Supporter

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    Hello @Pearl7, I'm sorry to hear this news about your father :( I'll be praying for him, and for you too (I too am the child of an alcoholic, so I know a little bit about what you are going through).

    I don't know why God allows things to happen the way that they do sometimes, but as others have already said, God loves us and helps us, but He also gave us free will. When we choose to push back hard enough/long enough against the help that He is trying to give us, sometimes He lets us have our way .. to suffer the consequences of our poor choices so that we can learn from them (God sees a clearer picture of our life and of our true needs than any of us could ever hope to, so pray that the Lord will see your dad past this setback in his life to a far better place :)). Is your father a believer?

    God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

    --David
    p.s. - addiction is a disease and sadly, VERY hard for many to overcome.
    .
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2021
  5. Pearl7

    Pearl7 New Member

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    I know it's not God's fault, but I've been thanking Him and giving Him praise for doing it and now I feel this just ridicules what happened in the past, that he was more okay. I don't think he had anything bad happening, he became healthy. He had other obsessions like facebook and he was still angry. I think he is a narcissist with sociopath behaviours. The next thing I prayed for was that he would know God, repent and get clean.
     
  6. Pearl7

    Pearl7 New Member

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    So if that happens why do I pray anyway?
     
  7. Pearl7

    Pearl7 New Member

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    Thank you. I can't say my father is a believer, and my whole family is very relaxed when it comes about God. They know that I repented and put God first in my life. They don't like this. The only good thing about it could be that when we prayed with the church he had to stop drinking. Otherwise I am a loser in my family because I am single and I have no boyfriend, I just have a job. He also mentioned lots of things about my faith when he wanted to beat me. I don't know why I am connected to this disaster, it's like I am the one who suffers the most.
     
  8. Stabat

    Stabat Stat Crux, dum volvitur orbis Supporter

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    It is in many ways unfortunate, but man was created with a free will. I dont think you should look at it so darkely as you seem to do. He had several good years where he regained his freedom from addiction. During that time he had his 2nd chance to make a different life for himself. He may have a 3rd, 4th and 5th chance coming his way, or this was it. We cannot know about that. All I'll say is that it helped him and he has experienced that leading his life the way he does is in fact a choice he has made and continues to make every time he opens a new bottle. As I see it, something good definitely came out of this despite his relapse and all.
    You should continue to thank God for that. God answered your prayers and moved your fathers will. He also provided him a second chance which some of us never get. Be thankful and trustful sister and remember the sad fact that some people will get lost in the end of the day. The gospel and life itself is a story with only two possible outcomes.

    Be at peace beloved sister in Christ our Lord.
     
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  9. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    Prayer adjusts you to be open to seeing what God has planned for you to experience.
    His plans are without fault, and prayers never change them. But they can change you.
     
  10. Stabat

    Stabat Stat Crux, dum volvitur orbis Supporter

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    This is not sound theology. Classical theology teach us that God is a living God. This means that he is a relational being. His trinitarian nature allows nothing less. His essense is deeply social and this affects his relationship with mankind too. God listens to our prayers and can indeed change his plans. God is good, without fault and compasionate. Without fault means something other than simply perfect though. Perfect, as we're used to apply the word, refers to something static and as such it doesnt fit for God as he's dynamic and living. Without fault comes closer to morally impeccable than simply perfect. God have changed his plans before and he does so at times in the face of our prayers. This goes together with a very useful distinction one should make. The distinction is to analytically separate Gods essense from his relational and social nature. The first is God himself and does not change. He was, is, and will forever be fully without fault, again I should stress that I'm talking about something which is deeper and more complex than simply "perfect". The second part is how he relates to his creation which does indeed change in the face of our prayers. We can move Gods heart!
    This means that God remains the same ontologically spraking, but his contingent relationship with man chnages in the course of events.
    Its important to stress this fact as it explains the passages from scripture (there are plentiful of verses indicating that God indeed changed his mind in the past). It also provides greater meaning to our prayers practice. If God already made up his mind in beforhand, prayer would be a sham and could be described as walking down a dead end. It would be like talking to a wall.
    If this was the case I'm sure God wouldve stressed the importance of praying for peace of heart and just passive surrender to his will. This is however not the case!
    Matt 21:22 And in all things whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.

    Prayer changes things! This is why it is so important to pray without ceasing. It changes us and opens us up for the grace of God. It also chnages how God relates to us. Prayer is utter most important!
     
  11. Pearl7

    Pearl7 New Member

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    Thank you!
     
  12. Stabat

    Stabat Stat Crux, dum volvitur orbis Supporter

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    I suspect that the difference between my theological view (which is indeed the classical one, known through the centuries especially in the Orthodox Church) and SkyWriting's perception is a difference between the apostolic churches and Calvinism. Calvinism typically stresses the "absent God" and downplays the human side of Christ. Its actually of greater importance than one might suspect at the first glance. This is a question of who we say that God are. Matt 16:13-15 comes to mind. It is indeed important what we say and what we believe about God.

    God subsumed mans nature at the birth of Christ and has preserved that ontological change forever. This has alout to say about his interactions with mankind. He is indeed fully human and fully God. The change he underwent is indeed a irreversible one. God knows how it is to be human and he becomes moved when we cry out to him in our sufferings and our agony.

    So what I wrote about the ontological nature of God is indeed to be a bit adjusted. God changed his nature once through the incarnation, but will forever remain affected by that change. The contingent factor also allows for God to be moved by compassion and alter his initial plans in the face of our prayers.
     
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