My father and sister are narcissists

[Pearl7]

I should clarify that you don't have to cut your losses in order to escape. People with NPD personalities will try to entrap victims in emotional webs. It's possible to live/work/exist around them without being trapped in the web. That is a form of escape. Then you have the long process of tending to your wounds. The healing process is difficult, but it will be transformative.

Do you have an active life beyond your family? You will absolutely need that.

No one should have to live in fear. I hope that God steps in and brings healing, refashioning your family in the Divine image. Families here on Earth reflect the relations in Heaven. The family should be a foretaste of paradise.

Thank you, I was thinking about the emotional webs too. I can't ignore my family because I love them. That sounds great, Amen!

 

[Pearl7]

God knows how you really are. We can not control how other people think about us. If someone clearly misrepresents you and does not allow you to speak for yourself, make sure you don't do this.

Well, if we pray with God, we are not alone. And, yes, we can be anywhere He pleases . . . and have peace >

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies" (in Psalm 23:5).

But Jesus did say if people reject us while we are doing God's will . . . move on to find ones who receive our ministry. And kick the dust off your feet.

Well, if people do not know how to love, they need your good example.

Now, perhaps you will move out. But anywhere you go, there can be evil people. So, you do need to learn how to relate with cruel and evil people; so now you can learn, if and as long as you stay where you are. And yes please do share with people who are helping you to grow in Jesus . . . not only giving you advice about problems.

Thanks!

 

[Pearl7]

I should clarify that you don't have to cut your losses in order to escape. People with NPD personalities will try to entrap victims in emotional webs. It's possible to live/work/exist around them without being trapped in the web. That is a form of escape. Then you have the long process of tending to your wounds. The healing process is difficult, but it will be transformative.

Do you have an active life beyond your family? You will absolutely need that.

No one should have to live in fear. I hope that God steps in and brings healing, refashioning your family in the Divine image. Families here on Earth reflect the relations in Heaven. The family should be a foretaste of paradise.

I have a very good friend, when I told her some normal conversations and examples of us, she was very disturbed and agreed with me, so I knew I am not crazy. I think she is a blessing to me from God, if she wasn't my friend, who knows I might have ended up crazy. I have a relatively active life, I am working on that.

 

[Eftsoon]

I have a very good friend, when I told her some normal conversations and examples of us, she was very disturbed and agreed with me, so I knew I am not crazy. I think she is a blessing to me from God, if she wasn't my friend, who knows I might have ended up crazy. I have a relatively active life, I am working on that.

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean Having people on the outside can keep you sane. It's the perfect antidote to gaslighting for a start. You need people to anchor and stabilise you. The more relationships you have beyond your family, the more free you'll feel.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Thank you so much for encouraging me. I don't have a car, but I am thankful because I have a really good job now. I hope it will be okay. I believe the most difficult in life is to turn away from my mom. I always encouraged her and was very kind to her, but she doesn't listen to advices. It's horror for me to see her face to face and smile knowing she is heading towards misery and as if my happiness depends on her happiness. But it's not fair, because she is making the choices, and I need to be in control of my own happiness.
Thank you!

Of course and you're right, absolutely right you cannot let your happiness depend on the choices of others even if it's your own mother as hard as that may sound. I am glad you have a good job and don't worry about the car thing I'm paying more than I would like just to drive myself lol

 

[Pearl7]

Of course and you're right, absolutely right you cannot let your happiness depend on the choices of others even if it's your own mother as hard as that may sound. I am glad you have a good job and don't worry about the car thing I'm paying more than I would like just to drive myself lol

haha

 

[SANTOSO]

Thank you so much for your answer. How do you know I haven't forgiven my father and sister. I have done it multiple times, I've fasted for them. The least thing I need to know is that not just them, but even God has a problem with me.

Beloved one,
I am glad that you have chosen the path of forgiveness and have fasted for them. I am not saying that you have not forgiven them but I don’t know whether you have forgiven or not from what you said earlier said to me. I am just telling you to be mindful of the path of forgiveness so that you abide in Christ’s love. As we walk on the earth, dust may gather at our feet.

For we heard our Lord said:
Jesus said to him, "The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you." -John 13:10

Daily we need to release forgiveness to anyone, for we don’t want our prayers hindered and go unanswered. Having forgiven, we can rest in the Lord’s love. For we heard:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. -Romans 5:1
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. -Romans 5:2

Beloved one, we stand in the grace of God, that is, the love of Christ.

Beloved one, much I share about forgiveness to what end, that your family may be delivered; not only that you, but your mother, sister, and father. Look over again what I have written earlier, much I shared that you may be given the strength to pray for their behalf, that you may also come before God on their behalf, seeking the Lord’s mercy, that they, too, may obtain forgiveness with you; that they, too, may be reconciled to God.

Beloved one, it was never in my mind when I wrote you earlier to judge or even to harm you. If you see the spirit in which I wrote to you, I comfort you in your afflictions with which I myself am comforted by God.

Beloved one, I am not saying that you have a problem with God but I am trying answer your question how to live a normal life in God, being mindful what He has said, that you may be strengthen with His love.

Beloved one, if you still consider me that I offend you, I am not ashamed to ask your forgiveness from you before all. For I share much not to hate you but to serve you through the love of Christ.

Beloved one, if you consider carefully what I have written much, you know that I don’t share with you only on forgiveness. As we are strengthened daily through the love of Christ, that we are forgiven, eventually as we faithfully obey what Christ have spoken, we gain the strength to love those who wronged us. For we heard:

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

Beloved one, much I have said that you may be given the strength to love all members of your family, for what you have suffered for righteousness’s sake, through your love united in Christ, cover a multitude of sins in your family. Not only you have a normal life in Christ but also all members of your family.

May God’s peace be with you and your family in every way. Amen.

 

[Pearl7]

Beloved one,
I am glad that you have chosen the path of forgiveness and have fasted for them. I am not saying that you have not forgiven them but I don’t know whether you have forgiven or not from what you said earlier said to me. I am just telling you to be mindful of the path of forgiveness so that you abide in Christ’s love. As we walk on the earth, dust may gather at our feet.

For we heard our Lord said:
Jesus said to him, "The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you." -John 13:10

Daily we need to release forgiveness to anyone, for we don’t want our prayers hindered and go unanswered. Having forgiven, we can rest in the Lord’s love. For we heard:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. -Romans 5:1
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. -Romans 5:2

Beloved one, we stand in the grace of God, that is, the love of Christ.

Beloved one, much I share about forgiveness to what end, that your family may be delivered; not only that you, but your mother, sister, and father. Look over again what I have written earlier, much I shared that you may be given the strength to pray for their behalf, that you may also come before God on their behalf, seeking the Lord’s mercy, that they, too, may obtain forgiveness with you; that they, too, may be reconciled to God.

Beloved one, it was never in my mind when I wrote you earlier to judge or even to harm you. If you see the spirit in which I wrote to you, I comfort you in your afflictions with which I myself am comforted by God.

Beloved one, I am not saying that you have a problem with God but I am trying answer your question how to live a normal life in God, being mindful what He has said, that you may be strengthen with His love.

Beloved one, if you still consider me that I offend you, I am not ashamed to ask your forgiveness from you before all. For I share much not to hate you but to serve you through the love of Christ.

Beloved one, if you consider carefully what I have written much, you know that I don’t share with you only on forgiveness. As we are strengthened daily through the love of Christ, that we are forgiven, eventually as we faithfully obey what Christ have spoken, we gain the strength to love those who wronged us. For we heard:

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

Beloved one, much I have said that you may be given the strength to love all members of your family, for what you have suffered for righteousness’s sake, through your love united in Christ, cover a multitude of sins in your family. Not only you have a normal life in Christ but also all members of your family.

May God’s peace be with you and your family in every way. Amen.

Thank you. I understand your point, what you felt in my messages was pain, I believe I am not in the position to forgive you for anything, you just wrote what was in your heart. Thank you for praying, may God's peace be with you and your family too.

 

[Pearl7]

Sometimes being able to forgive may take years. Keep walking with Jesus and do not quench the Holy Spirit, you'll eventually arrive where you need to be.

I agree, thank you!

 

[com7fy8]

I looked up Romans 8:37 >

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

One thing I have seen about this is conquerors have very inferior ways of getting things; so they can get only what is inferior. They, then, can not take from us all the best of God's blessing which we enjoy with Jesus. They can't take God, because He is almighty and superior to Satan and all that is his kingdom. Plus, they can not take our brothers and sisters who obey Jesus, because God's grace in us is almighty.

And one thing evil people use is fear. But >

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment." (in 1 John 4:18)

So, if an evil person tries to conquer and control you with fear, this person does not know how to love. And you can even tell the person that you will not let fear control you. But because you love the person, you can do things with him or her and you can do good and nice things for the person . . . but not because of fear!!

The person could try to use fear to get you to do something that is good. The fear is a wrong reason and a wrong method, but the thing could be good . . . maybe like cooking a nice dinner for the family. So, yes it could be good to cook the nice meal for the family, but don't do it because of fear. But if the person then tries to use fear to get you to do something else that God does not lead you to do, you can say, no I have something else to do.

I suppose you can do good things which are better than an evil person tries to get you to do because of fear. And say I do this because I love you, not because of fear of you. Jesus on the cross did so better than what Satan's people were trying to get Him to do because of fear.

In fear there is inferiority
of what conquerors can get
with their methods.

"Totuşi în toate aceste lucruri noi suntem mai mult decât biruitori, prin Acela care ne-a iubit." (Romani 8:37)

In my Greek-English interlinear Bible the English says >

"we more than overcome" < it is one word.

From this I now see how we do not only overcome Satan and his kingdom, but we "more than" defeat Satan. We do not only get rid of fear, but we get into love with God and one another as His family. And we offer our example to enemies, because we desire for them to be saved and to join us.

If we forgive evil people, they are not deciding if we forgive. Jesus decides. The example of Jesus guides > on the cross, Jesus prayed >

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (in Luke 23:34)

Even before those horrible people repented and asked for forgiveness, already Jesus prayed forgiveness to them. And, like this, because we in our hearts desire for people to be forgiven, already we have forgiven them . . . like Jesus on the cross desired for us to be forgiven. He loved us and desired for us to be forgiven, but also adopted to become children of God.

So, if your mother, also, is not a Christian . . . she needs to be adopted by God. And she can be part of Satan's scheme to entangle you in a web. But we are told not to let this evil world get us tangled >

"No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier." (2 Timothy 2:4)

 

[Pearl7]

Thank you so much, Amen!