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My dilemma with my Schizophrenia or Schizo-effective disorder right now...

Discussion in 'Psychosis and Schizophrenia' started by Neogaia777, Jun 27, 2022.

  1. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    Here is my dilemma right now, technically the world says I am schizophrenic/schizo-effective BTW, but as I was recently trying to tell my counselor, everything is voices to me, and I was recently trying to tell her about the two kingdoms, and how there was one with it own voices on the inside of me, but that there was also one with it's own voices on the outside of me, etc, and how I thought one was my friend, but that the other one was always out to get me, or was always out to constantly "get to me" in some way constantly, etc...

    I was listening to a sermon the other day, and it brought up how the angel/angels that visited Abraham and Sarah, and told them they were going to have a baby, and Sarah laughed on the inside or internally, but not on the outside or outwardly, that the angel knew about it/this, and heard her clearly even though it was only on the inside of her, and was only in her own internal dialog only, but the angel knew it, and asked her why she laughed about it, and when she then told him she didn't, and he told her, "yes you did, and I heard it very clearly", basically, etc...

    Anyway, my point is about certain people or angels or spirits or entities or God knowing your internal dialog/thoughts and causing things on the outside to happen letting you know that he/it knows it, etc, because it happens to me all of the time, and I mean like "all of the time" and with "almost everything constantly", etc, it is always trying to tell me or let me know by causing something on the outside to happen to let me know that He or it knows it, etc, and normally this might not be a major problem, except sometimes it is very, very, very "unkind" a lot of the time, and is downright cruel and sadistic and very, very mean sometimes, etc...

    So, I told my counselor about the two kingdoms I thought were there, etc, one consisting of my own internal dialog and thoughts and going on on the inside of me, which is not a problem at all most of the time, but then one on the outside that causes me all kinds of "hell" and all kinds of problems a great, great deal of the time, etc...

    I am on disability and do not work now anymore ever since these problems started about 12 years ago now, etc, so I live alone, and am a homebody, and stay at home a lot of the time due to the problems I have with whatever it is that is going on almost always on the outside of me, etc, at home, and all by myself at home, I have very little problems, and actually get to enjoy my own internal dialog and thoughts, or the voices inside of me, etc, also at home, I get to control all that is happening and/or is ever going on on the outside of me as well, so I am at peace then, etc, but that all changes once I leave my home or go somewhere away from my home and on the outside of me again, etc...

    Jesus said that God's Kingdom was within, etc, and seemed to imply that there was also Satan and Satan's kingdom on the outside, etc, so I am following him in this I think, (Jesus, etc), "I think anyway", etc, but does Satan have access to our own internal dialog, or does just God, or is it both, or do also angels and demons do also, or "what", etc...?

    Because both seem to have access to my own internal dialog, etc, and can both make things happen on the outside that let's you/me know that they know and hear and can talk back to you by it or through it, or by using it, etc...

    But Jesus said that the ones on the inside were good, while implying that the ones on the outside can be bad, or evil, etc... But I'm wondering if he made a mistake, etc...? Because what if the ones or one on the outside is actually God, or is God the Spirit, and if I make a mistake in this, can I somehow blaspheme God the Holy Spirit, etc...? And if it was a mistake, which I'm not saying it is or was yet at this point, but am just not wanting to make a mistake, etc, but and/or anyway, if it was a mistake, was it one that had to be done or made in order to reconcile us all back to God the Spirit or Holy Spirit as God, etc...?

    Anyway, this is my dilemma right now, and has been my dilemma for quite a while now, etc...

    It's so bad when I go out a lot of the time that I have to put headphones/earbuds in to block it all out, etc...

    And without earbuds in, I cannot go where there is a lot of noise, or people talking, or around a lot of other people's tvs or radios, or around just a lot of noise and commotion a lot of the time, etc...

    But, what do you guys think...? Am I making a mistake in this...? Did Jesus make a mistake in this, etc...? And if it is not a mistake, then what do you think I should do about it, etc...? I do not want to commit the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, etc... They all clearly and always constantly all have access to my own internal dialog and thoughts, etc, which is trepidatious enough all on it's own or all by itself, let alone what is going on or is always happening to me all of the time with all of it, etc...

    Anyway, what do you guys think, and what do you think I should do about it, etc...?

    God Bless!
     
  2. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    Oh and both are saying or claiming they are God, which makes this even harder, etc, both the one or ones on the inside of me, and also the ones that are on the outside of me, etc, forgot to mention that part of it, etc...

    And yes, I took these thing to the Lord, and spoke to him out loud about it, and to where both the inside and outside could hear it, but so far, no absolutely clear response on this one, or this subject yet, etc...

    God Bless!
     
  3. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    I am beginning to wonder if this is my "thorn", and God is just not ever going to take it away ever, etc...?

    God Bless!
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2022
  4. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    Or maybe also my "cross" maybe...

    Don't know right now or yet...

    God Bless!
     
  5. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    I do know he or they, or both or all of them, etc, can operate through any or all of you, and you do not even know it all of the time, or almost always, etc...

    Except it is only I and them who do almost always, etc...

    God Bless!
     
  6. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Sorry Jesus did not say that 'internal voices are good'.

    We are taught to judge voices, messages, vissions, dreams etc by scripture.

    may I suggest that you have a read of the web site:-
    25 tips for sucessfully treating your OCD, yess you don't have OCD, but you do suffer from intrusive thoughts and point 4 deals with intrusive thoughts.
    It might help you..

    Basicly you cannot blaspheme the holy spirit, why because God knows that your mental illness cause suffers to do or say things they don't mean. He is not fooled by what an illnes causes you to do.
     
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  7. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    Luke 17:21- "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you."

    1 John 4:4- "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."

    Revelation 22:15- "But outside are the dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie."

    Matthew 8:12- "But the subjects (or sons) of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

    I appreciate your response, but, no offense, but I don't think your even all that capable of having any sort of clue whatsoever of what I am actually talking about, etc, or let alone understanding my dilemma, etc...

    God Bless!
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2022
  8. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    @Tolworth John

    Jesus took what was on the inside of him, and conquered the world and everything that was on the outside of him with it...

    Again, I don't think you have a clue...

    God Bless!
     
  9. FutureAndAHope

    FutureAndAHope Just me Supporter

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    If the following is your confession then you are saved, and yes Jesus, and HIs kingdom is within you.

    1Jn 4:15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

    Rom 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

    Yes, 100%, demons have access to our thoughts. Both God and demons know what we are thinking.

    However, constant, consistent prayer, is the key to overcoming them. I used to have trouble with voices, but not any more. I speak about the way I eventually ovecame it in this video.

     
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  10. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

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    What was inside Jesus was God. We are not God, if Christian we hae the spirit living in us.
    What ever voices we hear experience etc they always have to be tested against scripture.
     
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  11. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    We are supposed to be the same way as Jesus, with God, and God's Spirit, and God's voice, living and active on the inside of us.

    Be blessed.

    God Bless!
     
  12. ValeriyK2022

    ValeriyK2022 Member

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  13. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    I am not demon-possesed...

    Many have let this kingdom that is on the outside of them get on the inside of them, but I have not yet, etc...

    God Bless!
     
  14. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    OK...

    I will try something different here, ok...

    Have any of you at all ever had it made very, very clear to you so that it is 100% completely undeniable by what was happening or going on at the time all around you and outside of you that someone or something fully knew about what all your internal dialog always is/was/will be going on inside of you at the time within you by causing certain things to happen or go on on the outside of you or all around you...?

    Have any of you ever had that happen before ever...?

    Yes or No...?

    God Bless!
     
  15. ValeriyK2022

    ValeriyK2022 Member

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    This is a demonic illusion. This should be ignored as much as possible.

    One day, some brethren came to the monastery of Abba Anthony to consult with him about the ghosts that appeared to them, and to ask him whether these visions were from the right hand or from the devil. The brethren, setting out on their journey, took with them a donkey, which died on the way. When they came to the old man, and before they had time to say anything to him, he asked them: “Why did your donkey die on the road?” The brethren answered: {p. 33} "How do you know this, father?" - The elder: "The demons told me," - "And we came," said the brethren, "to ask you and consult with you about such things: ghosts appear to us, who sometimes tell apparently the truth; but we are afraid of being deceived.” Then the elder admonished them not to heed these ghosts at all, because they are from the devil.

    The general rule for all is not to get carried away by phenomena from the world of spirits, to recognize any such phenomenon as a painful temptation for oneself. Angels are one holy person, and only saints are able, being enlightened by Divine grace, to distinguish holy angels from devils. Devils, appearing to people, most clothed in the form of holy angels, surround themselves with all sorts of plausibility, so that it is all the more convenient to seduce, deceive and destroy the inexperienced, self-conceited, stupidly curious. It is a great misfortune to enter into communion with demons, to receive into oneself impressions from them, even to submit to one of their influences, which, being attracted by one's own will, has a special effect.

    Source: Отечник - Игнатий (Брянчанинов), святитель | Предание.Ру — крупнейшая православная медиатека рунета
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2022
  16. Leaf473

    Leaf473 Well-Known Member

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    No, I've never had that happen.

    I mean, Yes, I think God knows all of our thoughts.

    But I don't think other beings can know all our thoughts, though I think sometimes they try to get us to believe that they do.

    My advice, if you're asking for advice :) , is to not pay attention to the things going on around you that are supposedly confirming the voices in your head.

    There's only a few things that God wants to communicate to us. This came to my mind based on Luke 11
    Neogaia, Neogaia, you are worried and upset about many things. Only a few things are necessary, really only only one.
     
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  17. Strivax

    Strivax Pilgrim on another way Supporter

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    I have been diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder, also, and there was a time when I was clearly psychotic. My best advice is: keep taking your medication. And love God, and ignore the devil (though it is sometimes hard for us mentally challenged people who hear the voices to tell them apart).

    Best wishes, Strivax.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2022
  18. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The reality is that we are not, as Paul says, the good I want to do I don't do, while the evil I don't want to do I do.

    Being aChristian is a process of being changed into what God wants us to be.
     
  19. Strivax

    Strivax Pilgrim on another way Supporter

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    When I became a Christian, and had got over the shock, my question was: 'So now what?' Being a Christian, I eventually learned, is certainly a process, not an event, as we rid ourselves of the vices we do not want, and gain the virtues we do.

    Best wishes, Strivax.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2022
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  20. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Old Soul Supporter

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    God wants us to be in relationship with Him the very same way He was with Jesus... And Paul did not, nor did anyone else did not; not any of the other prophets/apostles, etc, did not at all say that was not possible, but said quite the contrary, that "that", is how it was with them, and is actually how it is supposed to be, etc...

    I am probably 99% sure that it is the voice/voices that are on the inside of me that are the ones to be listened to and trusted, etc, but I am also sure that the consequences of getting this wrong, could also possibly and potentially be, "very, very dire indeed", etc, so sometimes I question it, etc...

    God Bless!
     
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