Muslim girl in love with Christian guy

[pleinsduremords]

Hello,

I am a young Muslim girl and I am in love with a young Christian guy. I met him on the now removed website Mystery Google. I had put out a search for someone to email me, but only it wasn't me. I assumed a pseudonym. The guy I am in love with was one of the people that replied back to my search. We began to email back and forth without him knowing my true identity. Our emails continued for several months, but he was still unaware of my deception. I had been deceiving him about my name, and family and friends. I was only honest when talking about myself. We began to date, though we never saw one another. We live far from one another. I never told him the truth about myself for fear of rejection. I lied to him for months.

We quickly became serious about each other, and fell deeply in love. We began discussing marriage. He wanted to spend his life with me, but it wasn't really me he wanted to be with. The guilt and the lies were eating me up inside. I tried often to break things off with him, but I could not let go, and neither could he. I started losing sleep over my cruel actions toward him. I loved him so much, but I would not tell him the truth, until yesterday. Yesterday I confessed to him what I had been doing.

He said he is hurt, but he still loves me. He believes there are a lot worse things I could have done to him, and wants to give me a chance to show who I really am. Now that he knows everything, he is having a harder time trusting me, which is understandable considering I lied to him for so long, but he still loves me and wants to work this out.

Herein lays the problem, well the second problem after the trust issues that I so kindly gave to us. He and I are not of the same faith. He comes from a religious Christian background, and I from a religious Muslim background. We are in love. We are both unwilling to convert to the other's religion, because our family would be lost. We are both unwilling to let the other go. I would not ask him to leave his family and join a faith he does not agree with. He would not ask the same of me. I do want to marry him, but I don't know how that would be possible, unless he or I converted. I am aware that I cannot get married to him without the consent of my parents. My parents would not consent to a union between us if he was not of the same faith.

I don't know how to make this all work out. I want it to very badly. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, but I can't because of a religious divide. Is there any way that I could marry him? I need to know. I need to know all of the possibilities. I truly believe we were meant to be. I can't speak for anyone else, but I would not object to a union of love so long as the Iman (faith in God) was strong. I ask for counsel. I don't know what to do. I will not part ways with him. I can't now. I love him. That won't stop. I need to know if there is hope for us.

Thank you.
And yes, I know I have done wrong in lying to him. I don't think it's wrong however, to love him.

 

[Lukaris]

If you live in a situation where there is no fear of retribution, I urge you to consider the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The 2 greatest commands the Lord gave us are to Love God with all our heart, soul, & mind & to love our neighbor as ourself (Mark 12:29-34). You will love God and your neighbor as represented by your husband who knows the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

[locokrazy]

Hello,

Hello pleinsduremords its a pleasure to meet you.

I am a young Muslim girl and I am in love with a young Christian guy. I met him on the now removed website Mystery Google. I had put out a search for someone to email me, but only it wasn't me. I assumed a pseudonym. The guy I am in love with was one of the people that replied back to my search. We began to email back and forth without him knowing my true identity. Our emails continued for several months, but he was still unaware of my deception. I had been deceiving him about my name, and family and friends. I was only honest when talking about myself. We began to date, though we never saw one another. We live far from one another. I never told him the truth about myself for fear of rejection. I lied to him for months.

Its amazing how stupidity and a few chose untruths can roll into a heaping mountain of manure isn't it.

We quickly became serious about each other, and fell deeply in love. We began discussing marriage. He wanted to spend his life with me, but it wasn't really me he wanted to be with. The guilt and the lies were eating me up inside. I tried often to break things off with him, but I could not let go, and neither could he.

see note above

I started losing sleep over my cruel actions toward him. I loved him so much, but I would not tell him the truth, until yesterday. Yesterday I confessed to him what I had been doing.

He said he is hurt, but he still loves me. He believes there are a lot worse things I could have done to him, and wants to give me a chance to show who I really am. Now that he knows everything, he is having a harder time trusting me, which is understandable considering I lied to him for so long, but he still loves me and wants to work this out.

This is a wonderful example of Christian forgiveness heaped with a dollop of love

Herein lays the problem, well the second problem after the trust issues that I so kindly gave to us. He and I are not of the same faith. He comes from a religious Christian background, and I from a religious Muslim background. We are in love. We are both unwilling to convert to the other's religion, because our family would be lost. We are both unwilling to let the other go. I would not ask him to leave his family and join a faith he does not agree with. He would not ask the same of me. I do want to marry him, but I don't know how that would be possible, unless he or I converted. I am aware that I cannot get married to him without the consent of my parents. My parents would not consent to a union between us if he was not of the same faith.

I'll go into this a bit but first ill touch upon my underlined part. As an American I'll admit I'm guilty of the "Well why the heck not" mindset of if you love him and he loves you then darn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. but like i said thats the bullheaded American in me, back to the subject in hand if i may ask what country are you from? If you had the chance to I would recommend you and your Christian love emigrate to a friendly country that would not frown upon your marriage. now for the more serious point at hand. you love as a Christian should have no problems with marriage to you from a Christian stand point. 1 Corinthians 7 explains marriage. A husband and wife are one there bodies do not belong to them but to the other. a husband is to stay with his wife be it shes a believer or not so long as she chooses to stay with him. for the husband belief sanctifies the wife so that there children will be clean. (Children is something you should think of as children of a mixed home religiously can be a complicated and frustrating thing for both parents but i going to stop here before i get full off track) your marriage would be good before the only being who's sanctification matters god himself. but heres a verse to think of 1Cor 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? or how do you know, O Husband, whether you will save your wife?

I don't know how to make this all work out. I want it to very badly. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, but I can't because of a religious divide.

again i point to my comments above as i should do a better job of proofing my quotes before writing.. or maybe just stop being a sloth and fix my mistakes -.-

Is there any way that I could marry him? I need to know. I need to know all of the possibilities. I truly believe we were meant to be. I can't speak for anyone else, but I would not object to a union of love so long as the Iman (faith in God) was strong. I ask for counsel. I don't know what to do. I will not part ways with him. I can't now. I love him. That won't stop. I need to know if there is hope for us.

Thank you.
And yes, I know I have done wrong in lying to him. I don't think it's wrong however, to love him.

To sum up my ramblings Yes from the Christian stand point there is nothing wrong with this marriage. Love between a man and women attested to before the god Almighty is more powerful then an human, man nor woman that thinks other wise. however My lack of serious knowledge of Islam hinders me from seeing it from your point of view. But Ill end with a quote that just about any Christian would know

1 Corinthians 13



1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


I hope the underlined parts give you hope my friend. I will not urge you to convert but i will ask as i did with a muslim friend of mine that gave me some information about Islam, Look into the new testament mostly the books of Luke,john, acts and my favorite 1 Corinthians. Just read the words written there and come to your own conclusion. I have thumbed into the KO' ran (Lord i hope im spelling that correctly) a little bit and from the bits Ive seen i must admit i don't get the feeling of gods presence and love as my bible gives me. does this mean i closed into my own religious world and numb to gods word I'm not sure But i fear not looking as Ive looked just about everywhere for god and found him in Jesus of Nazareth, Christ eternal. I'll stop now before i get rambling off topic but I will say a prayer for you my friend and ill pray that god gives you wisdom and guidance to over come your problems and show you the correct path.

God bless you
Loco

 

[salida]

Yes, I urge u also.

Gods creation is evidence alone. The bible says we are without excuse just with creation.
Christian concept: www.livingwaters.com/good/
Visit: www.TheBibleProofBook.com. And you can read The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell (its overwhelming circumstantial evidence of bible) and Examine the Evidence by Muncaster a former athiest/The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel a former athiest.

 

[razeontherock]

To the O/P:

the real issue for you is your parents and family, as someone noted above. You know you can not possibly marry any non-Muslim with your parent's blessing, so you would need to move far away. Probably elope. I'm very sure you're familiar with the story of Abram? The scenario "sounds like God" to me, but your hesitation tells me you don't agree.

Not an easy decision to be sure, nor one to take lightly. Another aspect of this is differentiating true love from romantic illusion, but that gets really complicated!

 

[anna ~ grace]

i was in the exact same position as you, sister. i wound up making a du'a after isha prayers, asking God if Jesus were really His Son, and if He wanted me to follow Him, and be a Christian, or remain a Muslima.

i was a revert to Islam, very staunch, with a good grasp of Islamic and Christian theology, and a passion for dawa. God opened the door for me to ask Him the right questions, and His answers changed my life, my faith, and because of that, my relationship to the Christian man i loved.

i didn't do it to get with him. i "knew" that tawhid was right, the Trinity was wrong, and that the Quran was truly God's word. but eventually, i wanted to know what was right from God's point of view. by His grace i asked, and was answered.

 

[razeontherock]

That's what matters - YOU got YOUR answers! Truly, God is great.

 

[Chimes]

I will pray for you. That is the most loving thing that I can do.

The advice I give to you, would involve suggesting, as other's have, that you learn more about Jesus Christ, before rejecting the religion that is called "Christianity" because those who believe in him & accept salvation through Him, named the religion after him.

If you believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, then begin by reading more about this God. Go to a library, if you are unable to purchase a bible safely. Take your time in reading. If you are able to use your computer safely, you can read the bible online at BibleGateway.com

To learn about God's loving creation of mankind, begin in Genesis. To learn about mankind's love and need for God, read the books of Psalm. Psalm is beautiful, tragic, and will touch your heart. To learn about Jesus Christ, begin by reading the books of Mark, John, and Luke.

Even if you only do this to understand more about the faith of the man that you love, it would be good for you to gain understanding.

 

[razeontherock]

I'm curious if the OP is not familiar with Genesis and Psalms already? Excellent point, to learn something of what Christianity really is. Although I would suggest starting in the Gospel of John, because it covers all the bases and brings you right into Acts. Our whole New Testament is very short.

 

[Husayn]

Hold firm to the rope of Allah (saw) sister. Do not be persuaded to leave your religion, just because you're would be lover is Christian doesn't mean you have to convert to his religion.

 

[kittycat7]

Wow. That's a hard question. My dad's an atheist and my mom's a Christian, so I know firsthand how bad religious differences can be for a marriage. Personally my first requirement for a husband is that he is of the same faith as me. That being said... the hopeless romantic in me really wants to tell you to just go ahead and marry the guy. My parents are still together, so yeah, it can work out. I guess basically, my only real advice is that you both spend a lot of time in prayer over this.

 

[All Englands Skies]

If hes a proper Christian, he should not marry a non-Christian, "do not be yoked with unbelievers"

But if somebody becomes Christian while currently married, thats a diffrent story.

But a Christian should marry a Christian.

 

[Tenebrae]

...

 

[Tenebrae]

To the OP. How would your parent feel about you dating a man of another religon?

 

[Tahoenite]

I hate to sound like a downer, but in the bible we are not to be joined unevenly yoked. A lot of problems arise from that issue...how to treat parents, children, finances.

It also sounds like either of you making a choice to be married will alienate one side of the family, are you ok with that if it is yours?

My suggestion for you would be to talk about religious differences with him, that should give you a chance to see what marriage would probably be like, and a chance at possibly convincing each other of your faith.

 

[heron]

Christianity is a religion inside the heart. A person can call themselves a Christian for belonging to a church, but that is not how God defines it. The relationship with God is necessary. Private prayer, not just public actions.

God sees inside our hearts. You probably believe that too. He knows our motives and deceptions, the kind things we do and repentance. Signing on with a religion is almost a separate thing from what we experience in our minds and spirits. What you believe, is what you believe. The God you put your trust in.

Have you met him in person? Some people are really nice and open online, and nasty to live with in real life. Make sure you spend some time with each other before going too far with decisions. There have been some people here who were hurt by trusting their online relationships too much. Be wise. Plan your life well.

 

[The Penitent Man]

This could end badly for the OP. This could end in an "honour-killing." Such an occurence was just in the Canadian newspapers. The girl was strangled by her father because she refused to follow tradition. The father must have felt that the only way to regain his standing in the community was to kill his daughter. The father, along with the girl's brother (an accomplice to the murder) are going away for a long time.

 

[DoctorJosh]

Hello,

I am a young Muslim girl and I am in love with a young Christian guy. I met him on the now removed website Mystery Google. I had put out a search for someone to email me, but only it wasn't me. I assumed a pseudonym. The guy I am in love with was one of the people that replied back to my search. We began to email back and forth without him knowing my true identity. Our emails continued for several months, but he was still unaware of my deception. I had been deceiving him about my name, and family and friends. I was only honest when talking about myself. We began to date, though we never saw one another. We live far from one another. I never told him the truth about myself for fear of rejection. I lied to him for months.

We quickly became serious about each other, and fell deeply in love. We began discussing marriage. He wanted to spend his life with me, but it wasn't really me he wanted to be with. The guilt and the lies were eating me up inside. I tried often to break things off with him, but I could not let go, and neither could he. I started losing sleep over my cruel actions toward him. I loved him so much, but I would not tell him the truth, until yesterday. Yesterday I confessed to him what I had been doing.

He said he is hurt, but he still loves me. He believes there are a lot worse things I could have done to him, and wants to give me a chance to show who I really am. Now that he knows everything, he is having a harder time trusting me, which is understandable considering I lied to him for so long, but he still loves me and wants to work this out.

Herein lays the problem, well the second problem after the trust issues that I so kindly gave to us. He and I are not of the same faith. He comes from a religious Christian background, and I from a religious Muslim background. We are in love. We are both unwilling to convert to the other's religion, because our family would be lost. We are both unwilling to let the other go. I would not ask him to leave his family and join a faith he does not agree with. He would not ask the same of me. I do want to marry him, but I don't know how that would be possible, unless he or I converted. I am aware that I cannot get married to him without the consent of my parents. My parents would not consent to a union between us if he was not of the same faith.

I don't know how to make this all work out. I want it to very badly. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, but I can't because of a religious divide. Is there any way that I could marry him? I need to know. I need to know all of the possibilities. I truly believe we were meant to be. I can't speak for anyone else, but I would not object to a union of love so long as the Iman (faith in God) was strong. I ask for counsel. I don't know what to do. I will not part ways with him. I can't now. I love him. That won't stop. I need to know if there is hope for us.

Thank you.
And yes, I know I have done wrong in lying to him. I don't think it's wrong however, to love him.

Of course you can get married to a Christian. The reason is there are Christians already married to Muslims, Jews, to even Jehovah Witnesses and even to mormons. Well, it is up to each person whom they want to marry, usually they find common ground and it us usually Love that keeps them together no matter what each others differences are. If you are an adult, just know you two believe in the same God the Creator (Allah). Just Christians also believe in God's Son, Jesus to have died on a cross since God the Father in Heaven promised after the flood never to destroy the earth, but Jesus was to prove God was still around and wanted people to follow Him since the world was becoming evil again. It was like mankind's third chance, Adam and Eve screwed up, God destroyed the world with a flood, then it was the only choice left to bring Jesus into the world to help people find God again.

Actually, if you believe in the Old Testament, the writings about Moses, Abraham, Joseph, etc, you are half way there to Christianity. Now, because you believe in the Old Testament, Christians believe in both the New and Old Testaments, you both believe in the same God (Allah) the Creator of Universe who is the Alpha and Omega. Now, would it be insulting to bring forth some proof that Jesus existed to you to at least look at? I know it is even strange to look further into Christianity if one is a Muslim, but I have had Muslim friends before and we had wonderful debates, thus at least we agreed we believe in the same God. Just different views and cultures separate us, but actually those customs and cultures in the Old Testament were a good thing as long as it pleased God and was of good deeds. (That didn't harm others.)

I would say, if you Love him and you can find a way to ask your parents (slowly and when they are in a good mood) if they would ever accept you to marry a Christian or find out what they think about Christians. Perhaps explain about what Christians are, that Christians do believe in the Old Testament, but also believe in the New Testament. Christians just use the two Testaments to live by, but believe Jesus is the Savior who gave His life for the Forgiveness of all since if we all sacrificed animals like in the Old Testament there would be no more animals left on this planet. So another reason Jesus was to be the Forgiver and Savior instead of using Sacrifice since Jesus made Himself the final Sacrifice for us all with His own blood for Forgiveness.

There is a woman in Indonesia. Her dad is Muslim, her mom is Christian and so are her sisters, but her brother is neither and just believes God exists. It happens all over, even in very Muslim countries. He went to the Mosque every day to Pray, his wife and children went to a Christian Church on Sundays. They tried hard to convert him to Christianity, but he would not have it. But he accepted their beliefs and allowed them the freedom of choice. He was killed a few months ago in a motorcycle accident, which the girls and mother are still grieving his loss. They are still devoted Christians and just Pray to Jesus to ask him on that last day if he will accept Jesus. That is up to God.

The only other way is simply move (or take a trip) to another area away from home and marry him. Perhaps a secret life is the answer. In fact, that is exactly what my great grandfather did. He was being forced to marry an English woman, but Loved a woman from Ireland. So he secretly made a trip to Ireland and got married to the Irish woman, then they both went to America, which is where we (their great grand children) still live today. He later sent letters to his father explaining why he did that and his father took years to forgive him, but finally did. If there is a will, there is a way. Love will find a way.
God Bless.

 

[iwannarock]

although it is my instinct to suggest converting to christianity, from your point of view i suggest secretive marriage. possibly eloping. i don't know much about islam so i cant give much advice. i would also suggest if possible to switch temporarily get married then switch back. it's kind of cheating though lol.

 

[Jae Hwa]

Difficult situation...

I share the same questions as others..

Have you two met?
What do you think your parents would say or do if they knew?
Could you elope?