- Mar 7, 2021
- 2
- 6
- 58
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Fear / Benefits?...of course it's better than being Resentful!
New here however: I, Bryan, 55, Live in my deceased mothers house with my brother 58 (thinks he's disabled, welfare, pharmeceuticle drug dump now, promises to get better, never does, same circle again and again, he had a 30 yr bout with alcohol, smokes with COPD, drank again, hospital, they make him feel a little better, home, same circle,...again.) Promised was sharing of the bills (he rarely pays the $400 promised for the mortgage) Sits, thinks, degrades, when the initiation of the sale of the house (per mothers will, that it be maintained, bills no more than 2 mo overdue (and they are behind on his side) is present he cowers down, depressed, suicidal, drinks, then the circle continues.) Simply he has no desire to move forward and/or is stuck in a life provided by "mommy" now ME, and welfare. (( I have tried but obviously I can not help him )): Suggestions to rehabs, called myself, gave instant "ins" by knowing someone ))
I AM TIRED OF BEING USED...RESENTFUL...DESIRE MY OWN LIFE. Of course I feel I'm being used but the guy simply only knows this way of comfort as I enable like my mother did with the both of us. Stays in pajamas, does the dinner cooking and food shops however,...leaning on things constantly, easy way all the time, sits, looks out window, hasn't cleaned his room in 15 years (if not 28?...the last time he went to rehab) My sisters and I cleaned it 10 years ago. /// House is dirty (and I stopped caring as well), dried up cat puke for months "next to a fresh new pile of catnip, treats on the floor and counters and beds, cat puke stains on the carpet. He has never put his papers in a file. I got him a bug computer desk (with file drawer),...all there is now is a bigger "file pile" now,...years of "pile" on the dresser. I have a basic idea of the "poison" of medical drugs for all these years. Just got out of the hospital (again), alcohol, smoking, home oxygen,...he is to the point now of only needing at night so. Hospital (and he even asked) has set him up with the future option of medical rehab / detox....He sits here once again, excuses..."Bryan is working" so. "I don't see what you guys are talking about,....things aren't that bad for me"..."I just got out of the hospital,...give me a break"..."I'm trying to get my oxygen levels back",..."BESIDES, they said if I get COVID in rehab with COPD I'm dead!...(never mind that I started smoking again)..."Where am I going to go?"..."I don't have any credit" /// Upon a house meeting to sell: (or wait one more year "last year...This has happened for 2 years now, going on 3) I promised to obtain my HVAC Cert and did so last year.....He has done nothing but back in hospital...home....sit /////// Over and over. SORRY FOR ALL THAT BUT IT GIVES YOU AN IDEA.
(long story) I am 20 years sober, single, 55,...I too have never really been out of "mommy's" house. Came back here at 4 years sober, things never progressed, mother passed...House is degrading, brother doesn't work, sits, makes promises (just to get us off his back) I can't fix alone, I go to work, he sits home...year after year now. Each of us 4 kids will split sale of house (2 other sisters will split the profits if the house is sold $50K each child...Wow, I nice gift huh?)...$50,000 to aid in the purchase of a home of my own...My credit is excellent with approx $150,000 to $180,000 mortgage available with a $40k downpayment. ...Not alot and.....
At my age to buy a house? (with this goverment and it's control coming?), Repairs?
...My sister (executrix of will) has pretty much had enough of hearing my resentment and knows I can not grow here anymore. She and my brother in law feel I should rent a home. I want something of my own: Inventive / Creative / Can fix anything! / Desire a relationship with someone (of course one must start with myself and God. Here, I am falling apart as undoubtedly others are seeing me as irritable, irritated, raw.... Those who know me will tell you I am the most thoughtful and kind.... I AM LOSING MYSELF! ...Personally to live in someone else's "ownership" (renting) I would just feel stuck if I had an idea and not be able to fix or modify. I don't think I would be contented. // Of course my brother has nothing (ruined his credit, alcohol, no work all these years)...One reason for my ill feelings is that I care and want him to get better. Time is gone though. ... I know I am only being an enabler and keeping him where he is.....
ME: Fear of the unkown / Moving / Do or die / Lose all / This house will not be here to fall back on (but it's killing me as "I" though as my brother (who is sober once more but for how long) and myself would team up and be excited about moving forward together. As you can determine we are only both deteriorating / enabling. GOD I KNOW HAS ALWAYS HAD ANOTHER PLAN FOR THIS CARING CREATIVE CHRISTIAN GUY....ALL WILL BE LOST (for me here in this physical dimension anyway soon)
....GUESS I'M ASKING FOR RECOMMENDATIONS and/or SOME INSPIRATION.
.....(I know it would turn out for the better no doubt)(of course it's scary but).....Times a wastin for sure. I guess I could lose everything including this house but? ....Nothing is growing here and I will die alone, talents wasted,....a failure who's never built anything.
....Almost answered my own question huh?
New here however: I, Bryan, 55, Live in my deceased mothers house with my brother 58 (thinks he's disabled, welfare, pharmeceuticle drug dump now, promises to get better, never does, same circle again and again, he had a 30 yr bout with alcohol, smokes with COPD, drank again, hospital, they make him feel a little better, home, same circle,...again.) Promised was sharing of the bills (he rarely pays the $400 promised for the mortgage) Sits, thinks, degrades, when the initiation of the sale of the house (per mothers will, that it be maintained, bills no more than 2 mo overdue (and they are behind on his side) is present he cowers down, depressed, suicidal, drinks, then the circle continues.) Simply he has no desire to move forward and/or is stuck in a life provided by "mommy" now ME, and welfare. (( I have tried but obviously I can not help him )): Suggestions to rehabs, called myself, gave instant "ins" by knowing someone ))
I AM TIRED OF BEING USED...RESENTFUL...DESIRE MY OWN LIFE. Of course I feel I'm being used but the guy simply only knows this way of comfort as I enable like my mother did with the both of us. Stays in pajamas, does the dinner cooking and food shops however,...leaning on things constantly, easy way all the time, sits, looks out window, hasn't cleaned his room in 15 years (if not 28?...the last time he went to rehab) My sisters and I cleaned it 10 years ago. /// House is dirty (and I stopped caring as well), dried up cat puke for months "next to a fresh new pile of catnip, treats on the floor and counters and beds, cat puke stains on the carpet. He has never put his papers in a file. I got him a bug computer desk (with file drawer),...all there is now is a bigger "file pile" now,...years of "pile" on the dresser. I have a basic idea of the "poison" of medical drugs for all these years. Just got out of the hospital (again), alcohol, smoking, home oxygen,...he is to the point now of only needing at night so. Hospital (and he even asked) has set him up with the future option of medical rehab / detox....He sits here once again, excuses..."Bryan is working" so. "I don't see what you guys are talking about,....things aren't that bad for me"..."I just got out of the hospital,...give me a break"..."I'm trying to get my oxygen levels back",..."BESIDES, they said if I get COVID in rehab with COPD I'm dead!...(never mind that I started smoking again)..."Where am I going to go?"..."I don't have any credit" /// Upon a house meeting to sell: (or wait one more year "last year...This has happened for 2 years now, going on 3) I promised to obtain my HVAC Cert and did so last year.....He has done nothing but back in hospital...home....sit /////// Over and over. SORRY FOR ALL THAT BUT IT GIVES YOU AN IDEA.
(long story) I am 20 years sober, single, 55,...I too have never really been out of "mommy's" house. Came back here at 4 years sober, things never progressed, mother passed...House is degrading, brother doesn't work, sits, makes promises (just to get us off his back) I can't fix alone, I go to work, he sits home...year after year now. Each of us 4 kids will split sale of house (2 other sisters will split the profits if the house is sold $50K each child...Wow, I nice gift huh?)...$50,000 to aid in the purchase of a home of my own...My credit is excellent with approx $150,000 to $180,000 mortgage available with a $40k downpayment. ...Not alot and.....
At my age to buy a house? (with this goverment and it's control coming?), Repairs?
...My sister (executrix of will) has pretty much had enough of hearing my resentment and knows I can not grow here anymore. She and my brother in law feel I should rent a home. I want something of my own: Inventive / Creative / Can fix anything! / Desire a relationship with someone (of course one must start with myself and God. Here, I am falling apart as undoubtedly others are seeing me as irritable, irritated, raw.... Those who know me will tell you I am the most thoughtful and kind.... I AM LOSING MYSELF! ...Personally to live in someone else's "ownership" (renting) I would just feel stuck if I had an idea and not be able to fix or modify. I don't think I would be contented. // Of course my brother has nothing (ruined his credit, alcohol, no work all these years)...One reason for my ill feelings is that I care and want him to get better. Time is gone though. ... I know I am only being an enabler and keeping him where he is.....
ME: Fear of the unkown / Moving / Do or die / Lose all / This house will not be here to fall back on (but it's killing me as "I" though as my brother (who is sober once more but for how long) and myself would team up and be excited about moving forward together. As you can determine we are only both deteriorating / enabling. GOD I KNOW HAS ALWAYS HAD ANOTHER PLAN FOR THIS CARING CREATIVE CHRISTIAN GUY....ALL WILL BE LOST (for me here in this physical dimension anyway soon)
....GUESS I'M ASKING FOR RECOMMENDATIONS and/or SOME INSPIRATION.
.....(I know it would turn out for the better no doubt)(of course it's scary but).....Times a wastin for sure. I guess I could lose everything including this house but? ....Nothing is growing here and I will die alone, talents wasted,....a failure who's never built anything.
....Almost answered my own question huh?
God bless you
