[Moved from Courting Couples] My GF said this..

Godzila

See, I make all things New!
Apr 2, 2008
741
39
Las Vegas
Visit site
✟16,811.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Last night we had a talk over skype

she was talking about how it would be so great if she had a BFF that was gay.

I thought she was joking, but she wasn't.

I expressed to her how I felt about that. I told her I had gay friends too, but I refused to see them sinn their lives away. I love them and I cannot stand by and watch them do such a thing. So I cannot support their lifestyle choice. Therefore, its very difficult to do similar things as you would with normal friends. Now being gay is like any other sin....lieing, stealing, killing.... but with being Gay they express it openly with "pride".

She replied with "I don't judge people, and you shouldn't either"

I responded with scripture

Matthew 7:1

7 “Judge not, that you be not judged.

and explained that it meant' hypocritical judgment

John 7:24
24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

and followed with ....

Matthew 7:2-5
"For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Then I asked her if she wanted to hear what God feels about Gay people ( i was gonna read off romans 1)

She replied with "I'm not in the mood, I don't like being told how i should treat people"

"I support them, I don't support what they do. They don't ask me to, i support them as people, people that God made"



My heart kind of dropped when she said that...as I lost respect for her as a Woman of God. I can see that she is a LOVING person...but in that aspect she appears to refuse the spiritual headship of God is the head of Man..and Man is the head of woman.

I told myself, I can't lead someone who doesn't want to follow....
Did I say something wrong??? I told the Truth from the bible, and I got that response from her. "I'm not in the mood, I don't like being told how i should treat people" ( Does that include God telling you?)

I'm rather confused with the situation, and she was "4 beers in" as she mentioned. But this isn't the first time she had a few beers..and she totally loses her sense of God's Word.
 

Valerita

Ginger Spice
Oct 26, 2010
38
1
U.S.A.-Louisiana
Visit site
✟7,663.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Just to point it out: "being gay" is not a sin. Having feelings for someone of the same gender is not a sin. ACTING on those feelings is a sin. "Being gay" is not a sin. "Having homosexual relations" is. There is a difference.
 
Upvote 0

Godzila

See, I make all things New!
Apr 2, 2008
741
39
Las Vegas
Visit site
✟16,811.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Just to point it out: "being gay" is not a sin. Having feelings for someone of the same gender is not a sin. ACTING on those feelings is a sin. "Being gay" is not a sin. "Having homosexual relations" is. There is a difference.

Yes, I made it clear that there was a difference between a Strugling christian..and that of one who Enjoys and is proud of their sin.

But when we were referring to being gay, it was understood as a man who has lust for another man.

But if the man is a christian...who knows is wrong to have such a lust...and is struggling...that is different.
 
Upvote 0

Godzila

See, I make all things New!
Apr 2, 2008
741
39
Las Vegas
Visit site
✟16,811.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Your theology is off in that you think she should follow you. You are not her husband.
Additionally, I don't think you pulled the right scripture in your favor. Jesus's point is frequently that we are all sinners, and if we are harsh in viewing each other's sins, then he will be harsh with us. In that light, your girlfriend made the right call. Just as Jesus hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes before they repented, it's not wrong for your girlfriend to keep the company of one who sins.

I think you misunderstood the situation here.

I said you are to LOVE everyone...gay or not. You are to be patient, kinds, gentle with everyone. In this way I agree with her.

But what she is going to do is ENJOY and APPROVE of such things. I warned her that there will come a time when a christian will have to decide how to express the Truth to his/her friend that is in sin. How do you enjoy and laugh, and have a good time when your friend is "PROUD to be in sin"? I know with a strugglin brother or sister who is in sin..we pray, and talk, and be there for one another. Now how is she going to deal with someone who is proud of their sin. After she speaks to them about the gospel, she'll continue to hang out with them in a manner that resemble approval. Yes Jesus hung out with the sinners...but he didn't hang out with them forever. He died so that they may LIVE! However, you have opened my eyes to somethin I have known, but ignored. That perhaps God's will for her is to hangout with them as long as needed until they repent.

But i'm glad you said what you said...cause i read more into the scripture and it took me to Romans 14

1 Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. 2 For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. 3 Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord’s help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval.
5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. 6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. 8 If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.


As for me not being her husband You speak truth. I am not married to her. There is no Buts here. When i was referring to the spirtual headship ..I meant that of GOD and HER. She saids she hates being told how to treat people....AFTER I spoke from the scripture. I said nothing that is FROM MY OWN. So I thought she is referring to God that she hates ...because I spoke from the scripture.
 
Upvote 0

dayhiker

Mature veteran
Sep 13, 2006
15,557
5,287
MA
✟220,067.00
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
I'd agree with your ex-GF ... I think she will enjoy her relationship with Christ much more not being around a guy who treats her the way you did.

I was pretty much like you when I was your age. Took me 30 years to learn otherwise. Hope you do better than I did.
 
Upvote 0

Godzila

See, I make all things New!
Apr 2, 2008
741
39
Las Vegas
Visit site
✟16,811.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
^ i believe she SHOULD follow God.

that's why we prayed before we parted ways.

because HER theology is off. when the scriptures specifically in Romans 1:27 stated that SEXUAL relations with another man IS a sin.
She still told me "I refuse to believe that, I have friends who are gay and have sex with each other...and I don't believe it is a sin".
 
Upvote 0

Valerita

Ginger Spice
Oct 26, 2010
38
1
U.S.A.-Louisiana
Visit site
✟7,663.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Her theology may be a little skewed, but yours is WAY off.

Saying "i'm not a homophobe, I have gay friends" is just as incorrect as saying "i'm not racist, I have black/asian/hispanic/jewish/etc friends." Its non-sequitur. You're both wrong. She's at least more right in saying that being gay is not a sin.

To quote you before, you said that sin is a man having lustful thoughts with another man, but its not sin for a man to have those thoughts and know they're wrong. That makes absolutely no sense. Its exactly the same thing. Exactly.

Edit: Oh, and FTR, "lust" is a sin. Not "homosexual lust", just all around gender-less lust. If you had lust for your now-ex-girlfriend, its literally just as bad as Bobby lusting over Billy.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

K9_Trainer

Unusually unusual, absolutely unpredictable
May 31, 2006
13,649
947
✟18,437.00
Faith
Pantheist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Seriously? You ended it over that?

That's really unfortunate because it's a doctrine that doesn't even affect you or her or your relationship in the slightest. If you're seeking somebody who agrees with you theologically on every doctrine and scripture interpretation, then you will only be disappointed. Best learn to agree to disagree on the things that truly won't affect the relationship.
 
Upvote 0

Andrew12

A Knight of the Lord
Nov 4, 2010
6,245
742
Mainstreet, AnyTown
Visit site
✟17,283.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
MOD HAT ON
emoticon-object-019.gif



THIS THREAD HAS BEEN MOVED FROM COURTING COUPLES TO CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS



CHRISTIAN FORUMS RULES FOUND HERE

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR COOPERATION & UNDERSTANDING ON THIS MATTER.


MOD HAT OFF
 
Upvote 0

miamited

Ted
Supporter
Oct 4, 2010
13,243
6,313
Seneca SC
✟705,807.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi GZ,

Don't let anyone sway you from what is right in God's sight. Same sex relationships are sin in God's sight and those who give approval or participate are condemned by Paul in his letter to the Romans. John writes that no one who continues to sin has known him.

I'm going to say that you're probably better off finding a mate who is better grounded in her faith and understanding of God and His word, if you intend to not find yourself unequally yoked.

Remember always that because of Jesus' righteousness people will say all kinds of evil against you just as they did against him. But you are to rejoice when people say such evil things about you because of his righteousness.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted
 
Upvote 0

miamited

Ted
Supporter
Oct 4, 2010
13,243
6,313
Seneca SC
✟705,807.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi k9,

You wrote: That's really unfortunate because it's a doctrine that doesn't even affect you or her or your relationship in the slightest. If you're seeking somebody who agrees with you theologically on every doctrine and scripture interpretation, then you will only be disappointed. Best learn to agree to disagree on the things that truly won't affect the relationship.

I'm not sure that that is what the Scriptures teach. Paul seems to paint a picture that those who approve of sin are condemned and certainly those who, without conscience, participate. Sadly, I'm afraid that the opposite may be true. Surely, it must be done in love, but we are commanded to correct, rebuke and train weaker or more immature people. But when it comes to picking a mate, sure you may not agree on some biblical teaching, but I'm pretty sure that that doesn't include what is and isn't sin in God's sight, that is expressly given in multiple passages as such.

I would say the same thing if this person were considering or struggling with a mate who was a thief or a fornicator. Among all born again believers, while some minor issues may not be in complete agreement, I'm pretty sure that God expects us to understand sin and the many, many ways that it insinuates itself into our lives and strive to expel it from among us.

The issue of same sex relations has caused a firestorm of debate and disagreement even among the church, but I'm thoroughly convinced and convicted that it is an abomination in God's sight. So, you and I see differently, the way to encourage this believer. I think, if all that he has posted is true, that he has made the godly decision and, yes, that can be tough for us to accept, but I find that many of God's commands can be difficult to accept and certainly aspire to.

Just my thoughts. God bless you.
In Christ, Ted
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

K9_Trainer

Unusually unusual, absolutely unpredictable
May 31, 2006
13,649
947
✟18,437.00
Faith
Pantheist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Hi :)

Hi k9,

You wrote: That's really unfortunate because it's a doctrine that doesn't even affect you or her or your relationship in the slightest. If you're seeking somebody who agrees with you theologically on every doctrine and scripture interpretation, then you will only be disappointed. Best learn to agree to disagree on the things that truly won't affect the relationship.

I'm not sure that that is what the Scriptures teach. Paul seems to paint a picture that those who approve of sin are condemned and certainly those who, without conscience, participate. Sadly, I'm afraid that the opposite may be true. Surely, it must be done in love, but we are commanded to correct, rebuke and train weaker or more immature people. But when it comes to picking a mate, sure you may not agree on some biblical teaching, but I'm pretty sure that that doesn't include what is and isn't sin in God's sight, that is expressly given in multiple passages as such.

I would say the same thing if this person were considering or struggling with a mate who was a thief or a fornicator. Among all born again believers, while some minor issues may not be in complete agreement, I'm pretty sure that God expects us to understand sin and the many, many ways that it insinuates itself into our lives and strive to expel it from among us.

The issue of same sex relations has caused a firestorm of debate and disagreement even among the church, but I'm thoroughly convinced and convicted that it is an abomination in God's sight. So, you and I see differently, the way to encourage this believer. I think, if all that he has posted is true, that he has made the godly decision and, yes, that can be tough for us to accept, but I find that many of God's commands can be difficult to accept and certainly aspire to.

Just my thoughts. God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

But she never said she approves of what gay people do. Even in his OP, Godzilla quoted her:

"I support them, I don't support what they do. They don't ask me to, i support them as people, people that God made"
Homosexuality is often targetted as a "worse" sin than others. Gay people are very often treated poorly as PEOPLE because not very many Christians understand how to rebuke gently and with love, or how to love a sinner without loving the sin.

Godzilla was upset that she wanted to be best friends with a gay person and he over zealously rebuked her, and she got upset...He is putting homosexuality as a sin above others as I mentioned previously. He might as well be saying that you cannot be best friends with a sinner. The girl's flaw here is that she is on the opposite side of the spectrum; she loves too much and she's afraid to hurt people by explicitly calling out their sin, at least right away for all we know.

Perhaps if the situation was handled in a more loving fashion between the both of them, they would have gained a better understanding of each other and would have helped each other grow in their faith instead of tearing one another down. I still stand by what I said, this scuffle has revealed no reason to end an otherwise good relationship.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Aibrean

Honest. Maybe too Honest.
Mar 18, 2007
6,298
344
40
Xenia, Ohio
Visit site
✟15,869.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
The issue with gay people is they are so hardened to their sin...they don't believe it is sin. I would say it goes to thinking too - not just actions. Compare it to when Jesus said if you think of a woman lustfully, you've already committed adultery in your heart.

For the record, if it is a person who claims they are a Christian then yes, by all means we have a duty (accountability) to judge them. For those outside, our prerogative is to be a witness of the gospel. Making friends to the point that you are showing God's love and show Christ, but making sure they know you don't condone their behavior.
 
Upvote 0

sealacamp

Well-Known Member
Jun 26, 2008
1,367
119
65
Fairburn Georgia
✟2,331.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Her theology may be a little skewed, but yours is WAY off.

You are mistaken and being judgmental in the very way that we have been told not to be. Maybe you are a bit mixed up about what the bible tells us on this issue. Perhaps you should read Matthew because the Lord Jesus makes all of your confusion go away.

Did I say something wrong???

No you did not. Stick with the Lords truth and you can never go wrong no matter what others say or how they choose to contort God's word. Hang in there and let the Lord lead you. I know it's tough but you are pointed in the right direction and that is a good place to be.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Addicted2~Jesus

Senior Veteran
Jan 5, 2005
3,606
435
48
Texas
✟13,363.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
MOD HAT

A few posts were removed in clean up because of the thread move.

I was startin to crud out, dern and wonder... couldn't make heads nor tails of what was goin on there for a bit..... I don't even wanna know how it ended up in here, that's a whole other story.

Some of the folks up in this thread, regardless of where it used to be, goin on sayin this o'l boy's theology was off is off their frackin rocker for sure. The Bible doesn't mence words folks, plain an simple.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0