Missing Mass Considered A Sin?

[Isilwen]

One of the things that I have been hesitant to mention is that I'm not sure I'll be able to go to mass every week or consistently.

I am divorced and am the coparent of two small children with my ex-wife. She is not a fan of liturgical churches, preferring non-denominational and Pentacostal. She, per our divorce decree has final say on religious upbringing. Basically, if she says no, I cannot bring them without having possible court issues. She has said no and I do not want to lose my kids.

I get them every weekend, for the most part. They come to me on Friday evening and I bring them back Sunday evening. So, that leaves me with no time to go to mass.

Not sure what to do.

 

[tampasteve]

Depending on your location many churches have a Sunday evening and/or a mid-week service. Often the mid-week service is more of a prayer service and does not have the Eucharist, but if you explained your situation to the Priest they could probably assist in some way. If you are lucky or in a more metropolitan area you might have daily mass or a mid-week mass.

 

[Isilwen]

Depending on your location many churches have a Sunday evening and/or a mid-week service. Often the mid-week service is more of a prayer service and does not have the Eucharist, but if you explained your situation to the Priest they could probably assist in some way. If you are lucky or in a more metropolitan area you might have daily mass or a mid-week mass.

Looking into that now.

 

[Isilwen]

Depending on your location many churches have a Sunday evening and/or a mid-week service. Often the mid-week service is more of a prayer service and does not have the Eucharist, but if you explained your situation to the Priest they could probably assist in some way. If you are lucky or in a more metropolitan area you might have daily mass or a mid-week mass.

No luck.

A couple have something on Wednesday, but it's either at noon or 6pm and I am still at work.

Nothing on Sunday evenings and I looked up to 25-30 miles from home .

 

[seeking.IAM]

Do you have a relative or sitter who can watch them while you go to Saturday night mass, perhaps, and take them to the church chosen by their mother on Sunday? Sometimes parents having children only sporadically seem to think they should be with their children at all times. In reality if living with both parents, there will be times where parents go out and the children are staying with other caretakers briefly.

 

[Isilwen]

Do you have a relative or sitter who can watch them while you go to Saturday night mass, perhaps, and take them to the church chosen by their mother on Sunday? Sometimes parents having children only sporadically seem to think they should be with their children at all times. In reality if living with both parents, there will be times where parents go out and the children are staying with other caretakers briefly.

Sadly, no.

My mom, as much as she would like to watch them, no longer can. She has bad knees and a bad shoulder. Last time she watched them, she was in pain for days afterwards. I don't want to put her through that again. My step-dad works on Sundays so he cannot even be there to help.

As for a sitter, I can barely make ends meet now as a single father. Adding another expense of a sitter would be too much.

They were great suggestions though!

 

[tampasteve]

Some TEC churches stream their services live and also archive them. Definitely not the same, but it would enable you to at least participate in some fashion, but of course that still does not help with communion. I would honestly speak to a priest at a local church, I am confident they have ran into this type of issue before and could offer some great advice. I am also going to tag @Paidiske as she is an Anglican priest in Australia that might be able to offer some advice.

 

[Isilwen]

Some TEC churches stream their services live and also archive them. Definitely not the same, but it would enable you to at least participate in some fashion, but of course that still does not help with communion. I would honestly speak to a priest at a local church, I am confident they have ran into this type of issue before and could offer some great advice. I am also going to tag @Paidiske as she is an Anglican priest in Australia that might be able to offer some advice.

Thank you!

I will definitely speak with a priest and check into any online streaming. I look forward to hearing from Padiske.

 

[Deegie]

Since no one has said it yet, we do not consider missing a Sunday to be sinful, especially if it's due to circumstances beyond your control. Your church will be glad to see you when you can make it!

 

[Paidiske]

Something could definitely be done.

If, for example, you came to my parish (which is totally hypothetical, because it's the other side of the world, but just for illustration) I would be willing to look into options such as:

- encouraging you to join a midweek evening small group, and incorporating regular communion into that small group.
- bringing communion to you at home on the weekend while finding other ways for you to connect with the church community that either suited your schedule or didn't meet with disapproval from your children's mother
- Some other approach to supporting you in regular prayer, teaching etc. Various things online do give us options while not being the same as worshipping with others in person.

Basically, I would say most priests would be understanding of your situation and feeling that it is our responsibility to find a way to do something that works for you. Don't feel that you can't approach someone and ask. We're generally pretty delighted that people want to connect with our parishes!

Oh, another option to look into that you might be able to make it to; if you're near a university, check if there's a chapel on campus and if there are services there. Often they're at different times to the parish services.

 

[Isilwen]

Something could definitely be done.

If, for example, you came to my parish (which is totally hypothetical, because it's the other side of the world, but just for illustration) I would be willing to look into options such as:

- encouraging you to join a midweek evening small group, and incorporating regular communion into that small group.
- bringing communion to you at home on the weekend while finding other ways for you to connect with the church community that either suited your schedule or didn't meet with disapproval from your children's mother
- Some other approach to supporting you in regular prayer, teaching etc. Various things online do give us options while not being the same as worshipping with others in person.

Basically, I would say most priests would be understanding of your situation and feeling that it is our responsibility to find a way to do something that works for you. Don't feel that you can't approach someone and ask. We're generally pretty delighted that people want to connect with our parishes!

Oh, another option to look into that you might be able to make it to; if you're near a university, check if there's a chapel on campus and if there are services there. Often they're at different times to the parish services.

I will definitely talk to a priest and see what they can do for me.

I'm not happy about what the divorce decree says, not even close, but I do have to abide by it to keep seeing my children.

Thank you!