Hey Sis, how ya doin'?
Recently temptation got the better of me and I backslid, only temporarily however. Then I repented and Christ forgave me and washed me clean of sin. But he did not let me off the hook that easy: a day or two later I started to feel distant from God, to the extent where it was punishing. For a little over 24 hours there was this extremely dark cloud over my mind, body and soul, it felt like a way more severe version of depression. It was so bad that I literally cried my eyes out till I went dry for a good hour and a bit. It was mentally tormenting but it was more than that, it was as if God abandoned me, betrayed me, as if the connection between me and him was severed completely (like in Hell).
So as the day went on, I prayed to him begging for his mercy, asking him to heal me asking Jesus to break these demonic attacks (I understand that he let them loose on me). After a lot of begging and waiting, I noticed something rather peculiar, as if 100 pounds of weight had just been released off of my shoulders, but I did not take much notice. After a few minutes I had suddely realised that it was gone! It was over! Jesus showed mercy on me thus, for the next 20 minutes I was laughing like a mad man, thanking Jesus a thousand times, just completely amazed at how powerful Jesus is. He literally turned those demons off like a light switch.
If only you could comprehend how much mental torture I was going through and just how Jesus took it away, it made me love him so much. Reminds me of the parable of the 2 slaves. Both slaves had a debt, one had around 400 denarii and the other a mere 40. Who loved their Lord the most for relieving them? The one who owed the most debt.
I will never forget how Jesus spared me that day. I will take it to my grave all the way to eternity.