Are you saying that you know what is right and that you don't want to do what is right? Or that you don't want to mess up anymore?
I've been in that frustrating place where you want to do the right thing, but you feel controlled instead of IN control. Romans chapter 7 describes that very well. As a matter of fact, the book of Romans does a good job of explaining how we're made, why we fail, and how we can have victory. Reading Romans over and over and meditating on it can help.
The Bible calls some sins "besetting sins" because they seem to have a life of their own. I have found that no matter how much I want to overcome those, I don't until I come to the place where I hate them as much as God does, I declare them to be absolutely wrong all of the time and never give myself an excuse for them, and when I seek God's help with all of my heart.
There's nothing more frustrating than that cycle of sin where you do the thing you know you shouldn't have, you feel bad about it, you confess it to God, you ask for help to do better, and before you know it, you're right back to the beginning of the circle going around again.
Confession that it is WRONG and ALWAYS wrong helps.
Hating the sin more than you hate the guilt helps.
Asking God to break it off of you and replace the desire by filling you with more of His Holy Spirit is a BIG help.
Let me encourage you. You CAN break free. You don't have to stay on that merry-go-round.
God will help you once you resolve to finally get off of it
God bless you and help you, in Jesus's name! Amen.
