Meddling Mother in law or don't worry about it

[Nicole T]

My mother in law is a very worldly person. She frets and meddles and calls it love. Think Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond.

One of my daughters (23 years old) is having a rough time. She just graduated from college and does not know what she is going to do next. She was dumped by a boy who was a rebound relationship and has been devastated by it. He was abusive toward her.
She does not know God. She is currently dating and is beginning with drugs.

Now here's the thing: My mother in law is texting my husband and talking about this and they have agreed not to talk to me about the fact that they are conversing. My mother in law has no relationship with my children, unless they are pleasing her and showing off for her. Any problems they reveal get spread to the rest of the family as gossip. She is now spreading that my daughter looks horrible, etc.n (which she does).

Any suggestions what I should do about the MIL? I feel betrayed by her and my husband. This is nothing new. It's how they both operate. Sneaky and deceptiveThank you.

 

[mkgal1]

My mother in law is texting my husband and talking about this and they have agreed not to talk to me about the fact that they are conversing.

They've agreed to lie to you about having communication---or about *what* they are communicating?

Either way.....it's totally reasonable that you feel betrayed---it seems that your MIL is your husband's first loyalty, even to the point that he's willing to lie to you. That's wrong.

I don't know if this would influence your husband's way of thinking in any way....but maybe it would make you realize you're being reasonable in your response:

More importantly, have you pursued a new relationship with your mate that supersedes the one you have had with your parents? Have you sought to be glued together with your spouse in your decision making by pursing your mate’s opinion first? If you have not done these two things here are the major reasons why there is conflict with your mate.~http://www.covenantkeepers.org/online-articles/47-general-marital-issues/345-dealing-with-in-laws