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Meanness Of Christians

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by Love First, Jun 2, 2021.

  1. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    I’m a very sensitive person and I get hurt easily.
     
  2. Isilwen

    Isilwen Well-Known Member

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    While I know that the Philadelphia of the Bible is not the same Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, but I always thought it was cool that a Philadelphia was in the Bible.

    I was born and raised in Philly, PA, hence the coolness factor of it.
     
  3. Isilwen

    Isilwen Well-Known Member

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    Again, as was I. That is why I had to learn to have a thicker skin. I was bullied in school, partly because of how sensitive I was and would cry at the drop of a hat.
     
  4. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    So how do I develop this thicker skin?
     
  5. Isilwen

    Isilwen Well-Known Member

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    Basically all I did was start letting things "roll off my shoulders" so to speak. It's hard, but the more you let things go, it becomes easier. I still get up in arms about things or take things to heart, but I don't think I will ever not let somethings get to me.
     
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  6. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    Well I try but like I said I am very sensitive. I have been through many many trials and tribulations and they’ve only softened my heart and given me a broken heart and contrite spirit and made me feel more pain and more sensitive. I was much more hard hearted before the trials and tribulations came. Now I am just broken hearted.
     
  7. Maria Billingsley

    Maria Billingsley Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I too am guilty.
    Jesus Christ of Nazareth tells us to be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove.
    Our words can trigger anger if not carefully executed. Reacting before thinking also gets us in trouble. One good thing about a forum is we can think before clicking the "send" button. We can carry this on in our life as well. Think before sending or saying the message. Be blessed.
     
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  8. Confused-by-christianity

    Confused-by-christianity Well-Known Member

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    You have hint on a fair inconsistency within Christianity.

    I'd answer this on a case by case basis if I could. I've interpreted most of the meanness to be...
    1) Some Christian's are just plain mean - some anger, hatred, old wound, or something or other bubbling up into their faith.
    2) Some have been really young. I've thought they were young and tough but really inexperienced. I thought they had never really suffered before. They seemed like they had never experienced "dying inside" or how hellish life can be.
    3) Sometimes I thought it was culture seeping into their religion. Their faith being a mean spirited callousness towards "bad guys".
    4) Sometimes I thought people had just decided on how they will read the bible. The decisions they made about it have led to them carrying out poor behaviour towards others. They made these decisions because they lacked insight, or were not interested in "truth" but rather just in absolving themselves.
    5) Sometimes I thought it was basically an old fashioned fear religion coming into Christianity. When people point the finger at the homosexual but fail to address their own imperfections - it's basically a fear sacrifice to appease an awful god. It's also obnoxious, foolish, self-righteous self-flattery (It's usually at someone else's expense and never at their own).

    ???

    I'm mean to other Christians too sometimes. I've been guilty of No. 1, 2 & 4. Not sure about 3. I can't bear the hypocrisy of 5.

    I think Christian's would do much better to just do the bad thing without bringing God into it.

    It can go the other way. Some people just destroy others.

    I don't know about it being simple like this. When you start getting down to it - who should rebuke and chasten who? Every christian to every other christian about everything that's wrong? All the time? Probably will only work with a huge about of wisdom, respect, love and tact - otherwise I reckon this idea unchecked would ruin a lot of people and relationships.

    I very much doubt He wants us to be mean and unloving.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2021
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  9. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    Yes, I think you have some good insight here.

    As we suffer God changes our hearts and we grow. It’s easy I think for a person who has never truly suffered to be super cold. Of course suffering can also possibly have the opposite effect depending on how we react to it and make us bitter and cold. But suffering I think can really mold our lives and make us more empathetic towards others.
     
  10. Confused-by-christianity

    Confused-by-christianity Well-Known Member

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    I was a tough tough kid. I thought...

    You did the bad thing, you should be punished harshly. No if's, no but's. End of story. If you broke the rule(s) - you're finished.

    Then I took my share of beatings in life and most importantly - I failed horribly in areas I thought I'd easily succeed in. The standards I heartlessly placed on others - I later failed myself. haha. What a fool I was.
     
  11. Confused-by-christianity

    Confused-by-christianity Well-Known Member

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    Yes. It's one of the hardest ones to reconcile with faith. It can crush you.

    My hope - what I hold on to - is that the suffering will eventually end, in this life (I hope) or the next. At that point, I hope it qualifies me to be a good leader in some important job for God. ???

    How do you make sense of Christians being mean?
     
  12. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    Well I think meanness among Christians probably happens for many reasons. Ultimately a lack of the Holy Spirit and the spiritual gift of love is the main contributing factor. I think a lot of times when Christians feel insulted they retaliate with insults. But also the differences in theology seems a lot of times to lead to divisions and insults and sometimes of course there is the chastisement because they feel like they need to correct you.
     
  13. GOD Shines Forth!

    GOD Shines Forth! Well-Known Member Supporter

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    "Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.
    Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

    Proverbs 27
     
  14. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    There's a spectrum of meanness. If your threshold of pain on that spectrum is lower than most people's, then sometimes you'll see things as mean that most people won't see as mean. This is where thicker skin can benefit you. However, there are also Christians who speak and act in ways that most people will also recognize as mean. They need to remember to love and not be mean.

    Given this spectrum, and also how highly general this inquiry is, I'm not sure what you're struggling with more right now.
     
  15. Love First

    Love First Houston We Have A Problem

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    Well a lot of people have treated me pretty badly and yes many of them are Christians. It’s been hard on me but I guess I need to accept it as God’s will and learn from it and deal with it. Yes trials and tribulations can be hard but I guess as the scriptures tell us this testing develops character and I guess the biggest lesson to learn is when mistreated to try and give a proper response.
     
  16. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    It's not necessarily God's will, but a proper response is important every time. What that proper response is will vary.
     
  17. Paul4JC

    Paul4JC It is for freedom that Christ has set us free

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    Because they can be. At the end of the day, you can only depend on Christ. I learned not to depend on Christians very early in my walk with Christ. Fortunately, he put a few caring people in my life along the journey. Most however fail to show the love of Christ. This site is no different as most are only here to correct everyone else a prove how "spiritual" they are.

    [Pro 18:24 NIV] One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

    [Pro 20:6 NIV] Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?

    There's not a Friend like the lowly Jesus - Hymn
     
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  18. quietpraiyze

    quietpraiyze In The Secret Place

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    I've never seen "meanness" not be a deliberate act of "self righteousness" whether it has been through my life or another Christian. The intent was always to be hurtful, shut the person up, shut them down, and let them know they can't just mess me over. Humility was no where to be found because most of the time when this has happened with me, I felt I was treated like an enemy so I responded like one as a means to protect myself.

    I feel the whole "we're human and not perfect" is a deflection and VERY dishonest. God is more than that and so is the Holy Spirit that He gave us...
     
  19. mama2one

    mama2one Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Jun 5, 2021
  20. MMXX

    MMXX Well-Known Member

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    My brother and I used to argue a lot and were mean to each other. But I know that we also loved each other. These days now that we're geezers, the love is still there, but the strife is gone. Then again if we went back to living in the same house, the strife might return.
     
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