I posted that I think that, maybe, even in my most sincere repentences or givings of my life to Christ, I am really, in my heart of hearts, still clinging to self and not submitting to Jesus. In response, aiki wrote:
"But, you see, you're trusting in yourself rather than in Christ for your salvation. You're making your sincerity the key to your salvation. The key, though, isn't you, but the Saviour. He loves you. Enough to bear the guilt and punishment of your sin upon himself on the cross of Calvary. When you are convinced of this, when you are confident in God's infinite love for you, your fear and doubt will dissolve. "He who fears has not been made perfect in love," the Bible says. Your anxiety over your saved condition suggests you haven't really laid hold of the truth of God's love for you. (See 1 John 4:16-19)"
I am thinking that maybe there is yet something I just don't "get" about salvation. John McArthur relates how some people talk/hear/think about Christ, Christianity and the gospel, to something hilarious that used to happen to his wife and him at night. He would be awake and she would be talking in her sleep. She would say something, and he would respond. She would respond to what he said, in her sleep. He would say something and she'd respond again, and so forth. He said that some church speakers would talk in Christian phrases and lingo, but it was like they really just didn't "get" the gospel in their hearts. Their talking about Christianity was something like his wife talking in her sleep. I wonder if my understanding of the gospel is also like his wife talking in her sleep. Maybe I know the basic facts and doctrine, but there is some way I'm just not "getting" it in my heart (or maybe still not even getting it right in my head).
I have a book by JD Greear called "Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart: How To Know For Sure You Are Saved." In it, he writes:
"I went out in the woods and yelled at God. Why was He withholding assurance from me? Why was He hiding? Had he predestined me not to be saved, and was that why I couldn't find assurance? Or was He waiting on me to make some promise to Him - about going to the mission field or living in poverty or something - before He'd let me find assurance? Was He punishing me for my sin?
"One day I got so angry at God that I asked Him why He just didn't make me a dog, since dogs at least don't have to worry about going to hell. Often, through tears, I pleaded with God that if He'd let me have an assurance of salvation, I'd be the best Christian who'd ever lived.
"But no matter what I did, what promises I made, or how many times I asked Jesus into my heart, I could not shake the fear I was headed for hell."
In recent days, one of the matters with me has been my attraction to a certain neighborhood woman. I see her walk by my house on a regular basis and we always greet each other. One day last week, when she walked by, I had a seismic reaction to her internally, deciding I was willing to structure my whole life around getting to know her and to getting along with her. But, on some occasions, I have thought about this decision, and said, you know, I've got to make sure I'm a Christian, first and foremost. I can structure my life around her AFTER I become a Christian. I've at times laid this out before God: 'If that potential relationship needs to be dropped, help me to let it drop. I can't let it stand in the way of my salvation.'
SOMETHING has been standing in the way of my salvation, or at least my assurance of salvation, for ten years of seeking. Recently, I have been doing lots of pondering about aiki's post. Maybe there is something I just don't "get" about salvation.
"But, you see, you're trusting in yourself rather than in Christ for your salvation. You're making your sincerity the key to your salvation. The key, though, isn't you, but the Saviour. He loves you. Enough to bear the guilt and punishment of your sin upon himself on the cross of Calvary. When you are convinced of this, when you are confident in God's infinite love for you, your fear and doubt will dissolve. "He who fears has not been made perfect in love," the Bible says. Your anxiety over your saved condition suggests you haven't really laid hold of the truth of God's love for you. (See 1 John 4:16-19)"
I am thinking that maybe there is yet something I just don't "get" about salvation. John McArthur relates how some people talk/hear/think about Christ, Christianity and the gospel, to something hilarious that used to happen to his wife and him at night. He would be awake and she would be talking in her sleep. She would say something, and he would respond. She would respond to what he said, in her sleep. He would say something and she'd respond again, and so forth. He said that some church speakers would talk in Christian phrases and lingo, but it was like they really just didn't "get" the gospel in their hearts. Their talking about Christianity was something like his wife talking in her sleep. I wonder if my understanding of the gospel is also like his wife talking in her sleep. Maybe I know the basic facts and doctrine, but there is some way I'm just not "getting" it in my heart (or maybe still not even getting it right in my head).
I have a book by JD Greear called "Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart: How To Know For Sure You Are Saved." In it, he writes:
"I went out in the woods and yelled at God. Why was He withholding assurance from me? Why was He hiding? Had he predestined me not to be saved, and was that why I couldn't find assurance? Or was He waiting on me to make some promise to Him - about going to the mission field or living in poverty or something - before He'd let me find assurance? Was He punishing me for my sin?
"One day I got so angry at God that I asked Him why He just didn't make me a dog, since dogs at least don't have to worry about going to hell. Often, through tears, I pleaded with God that if He'd let me have an assurance of salvation, I'd be the best Christian who'd ever lived.
"But no matter what I did, what promises I made, or how many times I asked Jesus into my heart, I could not shake the fear I was headed for hell."
In recent days, one of the matters with me has been my attraction to a certain neighborhood woman. I see her walk by my house on a regular basis and we always greet each other. One day last week, when she walked by, I had a seismic reaction to her internally, deciding I was willing to structure my whole life around getting to know her and to getting along with her. But, on some occasions, I have thought about this decision, and said, you know, I've got to make sure I'm a Christian, first and foremost. I can structure my life around her AFTER I become a Christian. I've at times laid this out before God: 'If that potential relationship needs to be dropped, help me to let it drop. I can't let it stand in the way of my salvation.'
SOMETHING has been standing in the way of my salvation, or at least my assurance of salvation, for ten years of seeking. Recently, I have been doing lots of pondering about aiki's post. Maybe there is something I just don't "get" about salvation.
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