Maybe I am still normal

[KTKat]

As I was laying on the couch today, paralyzed by the usual anxiety, I got thinking. Back when I was "normal" when I didn't even know what an anxiety disorder was, I never got nervous about driving, or going to the local department store. So where did this come from? I still don't know But what I do know is, since then, I have wasted countless hours on the internet trying to find the miracle cure for my problem. It's almost like I'm addicted to anxiety?! I wonder if I was to stop focusing on it, stop giving it all my time and energy, it will possibly go away. It will be hard and almost impossible at times (mainly when the strange physical symptoms come) but it's worth a try. This is no way to live. I know for a fact the average person doesn't wake up and first thing they do is observe how they're feeling, then go on the internet looking for every possible symptom of Multiple Sclerosis wondering if they have it! I don't want to feel like a crazy person anymore!!

 

[KellyLeigh]

I've wondered that too. I am exactly the same as you. Ever since my first panic attack, I have been convinced I have a horrible heart condition and will have a heart attack soon. The smallest sensation in either my left arm or my chest makes me think about heart problems. I am always on the internet search symptoms for heart disease and heart attacks and every other heart problem under the sun. I've also wondered if it's all in my head (still not convinced it was a panic attack).

I completely understand. I don't want to feel like a crazy person anymore either

 

[KTKat]

Yep isn't it crazy the things our heads can tell us! I'm still not convinced it's only anxiety either. I've been dizzy for the past couple days (probably due to hyperventilation) but I still think there's something wrong with me. I know I could just go to the doctor again, but then I have this extreme anxiety about going there, so I'm screwed haha.

 

[Amhacajo]

My panic attacks have stopped and once I read up on it and my psyche went through them with me I understood a bit more. I can only speak for myself when I say this though. I have read of people who wake up panicking and stuff and that may be different.

My panic attacks got worse and worse and in the end it wasn't so much what triggered them that was the problem it was the symptoms of the panic attacks that caused the panic attacks. It was like a fear of fear itself. I was more concerned with the panic attacks coming on than the fear of being around people. I still do have that fear but stopped the panic attacks by distraction type methods. It was a case of re training my brain to ignore those horrible feelings of pounding heart and trembling etc. I still get the tension building occasionally but haven't had an attack for ages now.

I hope that explains a little bit about what I was trying to get at. So KT you are probably on the right track when it comes to taking the focus off the fear. I hope that you can have some sucess with trying to go down that road. It is hard I know but each day is a new day.

 

[Rbob]

I wasn't sure if I would say anything, but my problem which is getting worse is a little different. Last Feb. the panic attacks started at night. I have fought depression all my life, been functional and worked, type A, can get my heart racing just thinking about things like public speaking, etc. Over the past few years I have done a lot of self help, got things as much as possible under control. Sleeping has always been an issue since my early twenties. But last Feb, woke up in panic, could not breath. After I did not die, and many trips to the emergency room, tests, etc, I have made it so far. Now the sleeping issue is wearing me to my limit. I have all the other weird symptoms I read about. I always think I have something being missed, and still do (Tyroid?)checking that next week. But I my biggest problem now is, I lay down, nod out, and wham like a cold wind hits me, adrenaline rush, something, like electricity wakes me. I will do this over and over. Sometimes I am so exhausted I fall aseep and make it through. Sometimes I have to take a Xanex which helps, but I hate pills. Does anyone else have the sleeping thing I described? It is worse now more than ever. During the dy, even thinking about my breathing gets me thinking I need to pull in air, I am never getting enough, and then I get anxious. It omes and goes all day for no reason. I do excercize regularly and eat right and my weight is fine. I finally called a psychiatrist, 6 week wait. I hate the thought of pills. They don't seem to help much from what I read on here and from others. Maybe some, but no long term solution. I am worn out and so tired all the time. But in saying that, We must all hang in there, maybe today is the day of deliverance! Sorry for rambling.
God bless, Bob

 

[KTKat]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about with the night panic Bob! It's the worst feeling, It happens to me almost every night. I start dosing off then I wake up in a panic. It's the weirdest feeling. Then I wake up in the morning more exhausted. I don't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep and woke up feeling good. It's almost like I get more anxious each day.

 

[Rbob]

KT, I will lift you up, and everyone on here! All these issues are so hard to deal with. In one way, knowing others, especialy believers go through this is hard, i would not wish depression, anxiety, insomnia, or anything like this on anyone. Knowing others go through this helps and you are not wierd or something.
I am reading a book by Philip Yancey-"Where is God when it hurts" If anyone is lke me who annalizes averything to death, this book has a lot of good help to understand suffering. I could not more highly recommend it. God bless you all.
Bob

 

[KTKat]

I will have to look for that book! Thanks! Death is always something that I over analyze. I just can't seem to accept it. I think that's where a lot of my anxiety roots from. But my faith in God definitely helps. And all of you!

 

[gracechick]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about with the night panic Bob! It's the worst feeling, It happens to me almost every night. I start dosing off then I wake up in a panic. It's the weirdest feeling. Then I wake up in the morning more exhausted. I don't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep and woke up feeling good. It's almost like I get more anxious each day.

KT I don't know if this helps or not, but I recently read that attacks like this that occur during sleep my be sugar related. Have you had your blood sugar level checked bfore?
If not maybe you might want to check with your Dr, bcause it could be some problems with blood sugar drops as in hypoglycemia. I will occassionally have drops during the day & I know that's not fun.

 

[KTKat]

That could very well be. I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia at a really young age (I would actually get seizures). But my doc said it would pass as I got older, which it did. But perhaps I do still have a problem.

 

[Karen1959]

I'm so tired of having panic attacks at night!!
I have anywhere from 1 to 3 a week at night. I just can't take it anymore, it's making me crazy!!

 

[KTKat]

I hear ya! The night time panic is the worst. The time of the day when you just want to relax and get some rest! Do you listen to music at night? That helps me sometimes to take my mind off the anxiety and just focus on the music.

 

[Karen1959]

I hear ya! The night time panic is the worst. The time of the day when you just want to relax and get some rest! Do you listen to music at night? That helps me sometimes to take my mind off the anxiety and just focus on the music.

yah.......sometimes I think....man, I'm really going to sleep good tonight and then "bang" I'm up with a panic attack an hour after I go to sleep. I pop one of these pills I have for panic called Syredyn. They relax you within 15 minutes. There have been times when they didn't work though and I'm running around the house freaking out (quietly).
I don't listen to music because it seems to make things worse for me for some reason.
I've been fighting these attacks off for 2 years now and sometimes I think "I just can't do this anymore".
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad the music helps you! It helps me sometimes to get up and pet the cats or look at a magazine and shop for clothes or something special for myself or make out a grocery list.