I get what you are saying but that's not what this thread is about. This is about a man with feelings toward a married woman and a married woman with feelings toward this man who is not her husband. Drastic difference between what you are talking about and what the reality of the situation is.
He is to care about her and pray for her, as we are all called to do. But where is the wisdom in light of the entire situation of having a platonic relationship with her? She is a married woman asking a man who is not her husband if he loves her. And from what we can gather from the OP, this is not some sort of sporadic situation but an ongoing one.
*** Okay; so in scenario 1, the two have 'romantic' feelings for each other and ask this simple question. But because society says don't talk to each other because you'll commit adultery, they go silent and care for each other in their hearts.
What about scenario 2? Go to the husband and open the friendship with full knowledge and consent of the husband and involve the husband as well? Anytime she wants to do something with her friend, the husband must come or it won't happen.
Most people won't go with scenario 2 because they don't trust themselves to not do something sneaky.
This woman is one flesh with her husband. The relationship is completed between the married couple and God. Their concerns are of each other and of God's.
I am not saying that a married couple cannot have friends. But as soon as you draw others into the marriage at a very personal level, you have yourself a serious issue. Put yourself in the husbands shoes. How would you feel about your spouse pursuing a platonic relationship with someone they have had a crush on for a long time? And to further it, how would you feel about this someone who shares similar feelings pursuing it as well? This is a stumbling block in a marriage, not something we ought to recommend or encourage.
*** I would feel very hurt and upset if my wife was doing this by herself without my consent, yes. But I would be perfectly happy if I was included in the friendship and we could all go out together and if that person brought their own spouse with them as well. If the other spouse didn't want to come, then I suppose we'd have to forget it.
Yes I would argue it isn't being taken seriously. In such a circumstance the only thing that differentiates their marriage is sex. They are one flesh with each other. Not anyone else. Just not a fan of this platonic idea intruding on a marriage. Friends are not an issue. When you start to rely on someone else spiritually that is not your spouse, that seems like a situation that is lacking wisdom. A married couple could and should exhibit Christ's love and mercy. One excellent way from them to do so is within the marriage itself. A platonic relationship with others isn't needed in a marriage for this to happen.
*** But we are to be spiritually interdependent on others within the body of Jesus Christ. More and more as I think through this scenario, I think perhaps we should organize ourselves like the Bruderhof in communal living.
*** Christ, Spouse 1a, Spouse 1b, Single 2 -
*** In current society, Single 2 can't have a relationship with the female spouse 1b unless connected by some other family tie ... lest they fall ... lest they have feelings for one another that they will stoke ... etc. Yet, Christ's command to Single 2 is to love everyone, including female spouse 1b. He can so from afar in prayer. If he 'loves' her in his heart - that love may be misplaced if it turns EROS. But what if it never turns EROS or could be trained not to turn EROS ... is Single 2 still not allowed a friendship with Spouse 1b even if Spouse 1a is fully consented to it?
I guess not in this society or culture. We also refrain in American society from physical intimacies with each other; yet in European and other cultures, a simple kiss on the cheek or hug is seen as a nice hello with no sexual overtones. Yet in America, we have to sexualize everything to = bad. The Bible certainly doesn't do this.
Weigh out the risks of such a relationship with the reality of the OP. What's the benefit? Both the thread poster and the married woman get what they want to a degree? They are expected to keep it platonic and suppress their lust of being with one another? We should give up our lust, repent of it. Not come up with some sort of compromise with it.
*** The benefit is that 'single 2' can learn how to properly love like Christ loved ... He did not love with EROS, but with AGAPE and PHILIA. What would be wrong with learning how to love members of the opposite sex as siblings only?
Don't get me wrong; I am not 100% disagreeing with what you are saying. I am saying that my arguments would be better displayed in Christ's millennial reign where we are perfected or in a Christian community like the Bruderhof. It's a shame to me that they cannot be fully realized in the earth today ... but I don't think anybody's trying. Gender is more than sex; a woman's emotions can sometimes lift the spirits of her brothers and sisters. Why should that be confined to marriage and avoided at all costs elsewhere?
It is disappointing that because of our fallen nature, people like me have to walk around the earth with an empty sibling hole in their heart and await a future glory. On the other hand, I suppose it can be argued that all suffering can be redemptive.