Married couples telling singles to never marry

[christiansoccerplayer]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"? Married people: if you have advised a single person to never get married, why did you tell her/him that?
As a single person, I have been told-by married people-to never get married. At best, it is not the married person's place to dictate what a single person that wants to get married should do with their desires. And at worst, it's hypocritical for a married person to say this since they're, well, married. I get that married people know what it's like to be married; but just because they are unhappy in marriage or having issues, does not mean the same will happen to the single person being told to never marry.

 

[spiritfilledjm]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"? Married people: if you have advised a single person to never get married, why did you tell her/him that?
As a single person, I have been told-by married people-to never get married. At best, it is not the married person's place to dictate what a single person that wants to get married should do with their desires. And at worst, it's hypocritical for a married person to say this since they're, well, married. I get that married people know what it's like to be married; but just because they are unhappy in marriage or having issues, does not mean the same will happen to the single person being told to never marry.

Usually it's in jest...however, in the times that they mean it, it's because they're stuck in an unhappy marriage.

 

[Michie]

It’s usually a joke. Or they may find their marriages overwhelming with responsibilities. 9 times out of 10 they do not expect you to take them seriously. So neither should you.

 

[mama2one]

I would never say that!

 

[Hammster]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"? Married people: if you have advised a single person to never get married, why did you tell her/him that?
As a single person, I have been told-by married people-to never get married. At best, it is not the married person's place to dictate what a single person that wants to get married should do with their desires. And at worst, it's hypocritical for a married person to say this since they're, well, married. I get that married people know what it's like to be married; but just because they are unhappy in marriage or having issues, does not mean the same will happen to the single person being told to never marry.

I always tell them to get married unless they think God has then going into some sort of ministry and they feel it’s best to be single.

 

[Michie]

I always tell them to get married unless they think God has then going into some sort of ministry and they feel it’s best to be single.

I’ve never said it to anyone.

Those that do are usually jokesters.

Usually a situation where the married person is out with family and friends. It’s getting late, the married person says it is getting late and must go. Everyone groans. Laughingly, the married person jokes, never get married!

Rarely serious but they are just saying they have responsibilities.

 

[Jesus is my Superhero]

I've advised against marriage for anyone unsure about marrying. If a person marries the wrong type of person, it will be hell on earth. Many proverbs point to this very thing, directly or indirectly. Involve God in your choice of spouse through much prayer and fasting. No, I'm not a Shepard of the sheep.

 

[turkle]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"? Married people: if you have advised a single person to never get married, why did you tell her/him that?
As a single person, I have been told-by married people-to never get married. At best, it is not the married person's place to dictate what a single person that wants to get married should do with their desires. And at worst, it's hypocritical for a married person to say this since they're, well, married. I get that married people know what it's like to be married; but just because they are unhappy in marriage or having issues, does not mean the same will happen to the single person being told to never marry.

These people are not dictating anything, they are giving advice. No doubt because their own marriages are miserable. Don't let it get to you.

The most important thing as a single person interested in marriage is to have a firm set of values that you look for in a potential mate. Never compromise on your faith in the Lord, honesty, integrity, and anything else that you hold in high esteem. Don't settle, or think the person can change. Most miserable marriages are so because they compromised because they didn't want to be alone. You find lots of marrieds on this forum who did this, as well as lots of singles who are about to do it and are being warned against it by more mature people. I wish you well and pray that you choose wisely, lest you become one of the people that irritate you.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

Usually it's in jest...however, in the times that they mean it, it's because they're stuck in an unhappy marriage.

Exactly this!
Married life is awesome and if any married person gave that advice they really had no business getting married in the first place

 

[Paidiske]

I don't think I'd ever tell someone to never marry, but I've definitely dealt with people who were nowhere near ready to be married, and if they showed no signs of being willing to work on their issues, I might discourage marriage.

It's better not to marry than to marry badly.

 

[HumbleBoy]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"? Married people: if you have advised a single person to never get married, why did you tell her/him that?
As a single person, I have been told-by married people-to never get married. At best, it is not the married person's place to dictate what a single person that wants to get married should do with their desires. And at worst, it's hypocritical for a married person to say this since they're, well, married. I get that married people know what it's like to be married; but just because they are unhappy in marriage or having issues, does not mean the same will happen to the single person being told to never marry.

My take on this as I am going through a divorce right now from a cheating wife after having been married 16 years.

Do get married, absolutely. It is most wonderful and a blessing beyond measure. BUT, and this is a big one; be willing to work on and for your marriage to keep it strong, make it better, keep the love; a rather foreign concept these days if statistics are correct that particularly young individuals seek divorce at the slightest bit of difficulty in their marriage.

Be honest with one another. Be truthful, sincere, and respectful at all times. Be willing to forgive, have patience, be giving. Have fun with each other, enjoy the good and bad with each other and realize that you are two individuals with different minds and characters which may not always be in alignment. Accept that fact and learn to appreciate that from each other.

My mom, happily married to my dad for 52 years, raising 12 kids, summed it up best when asked to what she contributed the longevity of her marriage:

"You got to be willing to put a little water to your wine. Sometimes you get a bit more water than wine and other times you get more wine than water. In the end it blends out perfectly!"

 

[SloopidyBoop]

Actually I suggest marriage to singles. It's very hard and very rewarding. It's crazy and weird and boring and dirty and clean and confusing and scary and awesome all at the same time. But you have to actually be willing to give up your whole life. That's the real question, can you put your life in someone else's hands?

 

[Diamond7]

Why do some married people tell singles "don't ever get married"?

Married people want to be single and single people want to be married.
Of course a husband and wife can just be roommates if that is what they want.