Marriage with non-Catholics

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

I have a Catholic friend who has a Mormon boyfriend. He's pretty much left Mormonism, he's open to Catholicism, and is on the verge of RCIA, but just can't make sense of the Trinity. This is not the focus of the thread (though prayers are always appreciated); this is just to provide background.

I was in the car with two other friends today, Jayda & Brian. Jayda made mention of the aforementioned relationship, and mentioned how the girlfriend is trying to convert her Mormon boyfriend, so it won't be an issue for marriage. Brian asked, "Why would that be an issue?". Jayda mentioned that the Catholic Church permits marriages with other Christians, but doesn't see Mormons as Christians, and thus wouldn't see a Catholic/ Mormon marriage as valid. Brian (already in a bad mood) said, "This is why I don't like the Catholic Church.". He went on to describe his displeasure with the Church forcing its way into things where it shouldn't be; he said that marriage is between the 2 people, so all the other people shouldn't be able to make up rules to not allow some marriages. He also mentioned an aunt of his that wasn't allowed to be a godmother, because of something the Catholic Church said.

I wasn't really sure how to respond, for a few different reasons, but I did notice that some of the difficulty came from his view on what the Church was. He seemed to be describing it as a group of people who make up rules, while I was describing it as the institution left by Christ, with some rules in place to help us. But, I didn't get anywhere, and I realized I needed to ask other Catholics for help: how do I explain this? How do I describe this, keeping love at the center (because that's the nature of God), in a way that makes sense to a spiritual-but-not-religious person?

When praying about it, thanks be to God, I was granted peace; I felt Jesus saying, "It wasn't his time yet.". I knew that it wasn't yet the right time for Brian to come to the Church. But I also knew I needed to take it to the one who knows Christ better than any of us: His mother. I just finished a Rosary for him & a few others I'm trying to evangelize, and in my time of silence after the final Sign of the Cross, I knew that Mary would do most of the work, but I still need to find out more; hence, this post.

Helpful: Here's a good article to describe the Canon law involved with mixed marriage: Marriage between a Catholic and a Non-Catholic

May God bless us all, with peace, courage, and all good things; now accept those blessings & pray!

O Blood & Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in You!

 

[zippy2006]

How do I describe this, keeping love at the center (because that's the nature of God), in a way that makes sense to a spiritual-but-not-religious person?

Marriage is a natural union; sacramental marriage is a supernatural union. When two (baptized) Christians marry one another, a supernatural union is effected. For the spiritual welfare of the couple, a supernatural marriage is preferable to a natural marriage due to the sacramental grace imparted through such a union. The Catholic Church does allow Catholics to marry non-Christians (through a dispensation of disparity of cult) but the union that is effected is natural rather than supernatural, and thus not sacramental. In the Church's eyes it would be better for all involved if the Mormon (sincerely) converted to the faith and entered into a sacramental marriage with the Catholic. That is the logic behind the Church's teaching.

Your friend seems to be working under the modern assumption that marriage is something that takes place solely between the two engaged persons. Historically it has been more than that. It is a union of families, clans, and at times even states and political bodies. It is a public union ordered to new life, families, and the broader society. It is a union that God brings about and is present to. It is the seed of a lifelong love that unites the two persons in toto, especially uniting their highest principles, beliefs, and religions. Here we have two drastically different conceptions of what marriage is.

 

[lambofgod43985889]

i think paul says the body of the believer sanctifies the unbeliever, also bible says, don't join with an unequal yoke

 

[Markie Boy]

I used to be "that guy", that said the Church made up all these rules.

Now I see the Church as the most perfect collection of moral teaching on the planet - actually the only perfect collection of moral teaching.

Be patient. Pray the Rosary for sure. I think at times Mary may pray for us to have the ability to do the work, so we need to stay on the move. I guess I see many Catholics pray, then not do much because they are waiting for someone else to do the actual lifting. The Holy Spirit is actually described as the "helper, counselor, to come along side" - implying we are to be working and the Spirit will help.

I think you are doing well. At times we reach people more by asking them questions than debating with our position. Asking questions plants seeds - possibly that is our work - then we pray and that is the water that helps them grow. All along it's truly the Spirit in work, both in us and in them.

If we kick God and the Church out of marriage, what says it has to be between just one man and one woman? A good question to ask. And if we just go with any Church, you can find some that will support alternative marriage. Simple natural law confirms that the Catholic Church's teaching on marriage is true.

From what I read, you are on the right track - God bless you for helping.