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Featured Marriage for a companionship and no kids??

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by gospels, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. gospels

    gospels Active Member Supporter

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    I get you. May be my message was not complete to clear my point. I've edited my post which you cited with this response.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  2. gospels

    gospels Active Member Supporter

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    Then I will seek God's grace to cope with it when it does happen. I'm already preparing for unplanned surprises and miracles. For your information, there are medical and surgical options that guarantee non-pregnancy.
     
  3. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Welcome to the forums Gospels.

    I believe your concerns are legitimate. I believe it is absolutely ok to marry for emotional companionship and for sexual satisfaction. (The unstated 300 lb gorilla in the room) in 1 Cor 7 Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with desires.

    And IMO it is perfectly biblical. The Song of Solomon is all about emotional and sexual fulfillment; but there is no mention at all of procreation.
     
  4. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    So if you do find a great guy, pray together before making one or more of those permanent surgical decisions.
     
  5. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Um, not to put too fine a point on it, but giving your spouse sexual satisfaction is COMMANDED to both husbands and wives in both testaments. “No desire for sex” is not an excuse for disobeying scripture. There are a variety of ways to do that, should some disability make the most obvious way unworkable.
     
  6. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    There is no requirement in my religious tradition to have children. People can choose to marry for purposes other than reproduction- some older people do so in my congregation, and occasionally, so do younger people.
     
  7. christine40

    christine40 Well-Known Member

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    wait until you meet who you'll marry before having surgery
    you might rethink your "no kids" plan
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2019
  8. Mollie1

    Mollie1 John 3:16 Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

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    Last edited: Jun 23, 2019
  9. Chris V++

    Chris V++ In Orbit Supporter

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    I don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet but some traditions are against birth control in any capacity, so that could further limit the pool of prospective mates, since it could problematic not having kids without using some method of birth control once abstinence is off the table.
     
  10. genez

    genez Contributor Supporter

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    I have known others that took your attitude. They were willing to compromise to end loneliness. You will end up being just as much alone ones the things that challenge you dissipate. That is, if you do not find the one who is God's will for your happiness. Its better off remaining single when it hits the wall. Or, resolve to live a life of conventionality,.... even if it appears unconventional to others.

    What every single person should be doing is seeking a greater and deeper understanding of God's Word. If they did? God would take care of bringing the marriage together. And, giving the comfort and inner peace that will overcome loneliness... But, it must be sound teaching. Most seek the broad and wide road. Commercialized Christianity = denominationalism = religion.

    Some people are workaholics to bury themselves in the sublimation against their loneliness. Likewise... like a workaholic, some Christians try to immerse themselves into some form of religion done in the name of Christianity. These lose touch with reality and think they are doing great work for God. Find the right teaching, and God will cause you to find your right man. Pray that God will lead you into having Bible doctrine for every area for your life. For any area that you live in without Bible doctrine makes a believer a liar before God. A sincere liar. A determined liar. With God, its either the truth, or its a lie. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. Without finding sound doctrine our impression will be no better as what we imagine Jesus to be. That is is when Christians miss the calling. Being single is a great advantage if its learning truth to grow and mature in Christ. But, its not becoming a nun. Its remaining single as long as it takes for God to make a believer capable of finding true happiness from Him with another. Its worth waiting for. But, without sound teaching? Its vanity and a matter of enduring emptiness with a religious fervor. Wood, hay, and stubble.

    It must be sound doctrinal teaching. Rare as a hens tooth in our day. God must lead one to such teaching. Its not commercialized in a religious way. It finds you in a sense. It comes through prayer and leading of the Spirit.

    grace and peace...
     
  11. genez

    genez Contributor Supporter

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    Some traditions are based upon human opinion and bias. Its cruel. The Bible teaches that the marriage bed is undefiled. Hebrews 13:4 What a man and the wife mutually agree to is no one's business. If they truly love each other and are one in mind, its determined by themselves as one. Marriage- like Christianity - is for adults. Not adults that wish to be told like children all their lives how to live their lives. That is religion.

    Christianity is the process of learning what's needed to know what to think with and solve our own problems. Thinking with sound doctrine. Religion is always telling others what to think, demanding obedience.. without understanding. Just do it. That is not knowing the Truth and being made free.

    Not everyone is willing to accept responsibility for their own life before God's Word. Those ones always gravitate to a religion that claims to be Christianity. Denominationalism forms a dime a dozen religion that believers like to call Christianity.

    Jesus warned believers.... Few find it. Many take the broad and wide road. Its a narrow road that consists of carefully analyzed and strict adherence to finding the intended meaning of passages that God would have us to understand.

    Find a good pastor-teacher. That should be our first goal. All the other needs are merely details in this life. Let God make you happy. You'll need to endure and suffer while getting there. But, His grace and truth will make that burden light.

    Pray that God will lead you to finding sound Bible doctrine for every area of your life. Then do not try to make it happen. Trust and rest. If your prayer was done in the filling of the Spirit? God smiles.

    grace and peace...
     
  12. gospels

    gospels Active Member Supporter

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    Agreed. If i end up unmarried, that’s totally fine. A marriage to a matured Christian man could also work wonders in growing deeper and greater understanding of God. By His grace, I have comfort and inner peace. I do not immerse my self in anything but in sound teaching and prayer because there is nothing that i'm more passionate about than God. I would do this regardless of my marital status. Its just that sometimes a human desires a companion even with doing bible studies and prayer although Holy Spirit is leading me. I have already found true happiness in Christ.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  13. gospels

    gospels Active Member Supporter

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    It’s not about loneliness, rather more about experiencing this special connection, to know what it is like to receive and give such love and experience the love and beauty of God that can be understood only through a marriage. Also its about studying the scriptures and praying together with my husband is what I’m hoping for. Though singleness is also great for a Christian.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  14. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    Seems risky to me. The idea of finding a husband who doesn't want kids.... It can be done, yes. But it is risky. By that I mean that most people want kids. That's part of the human experience.

    And even if you find a guy who is fine not having kids, you may find that the in-laws want grand kids.

    So I'm obviously not going to tell you that you can't find someone who is willing to be childless for life, and stay with you, but just to be honest, your chances of finding that one guy is not very high.

    I would stay single if that's what you want to do.
     
  15. blessedintrovert

    blessedintrovert New Member

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    I am 38 never have been in a dating relationship before and don't intend to in any time soon.
     
  16. gospels

    gospels Active Member Supporter

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    Why not?
     
  17. blessedintrovert

    blessedintrovert New Member

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    I am thinking that Jesus does not me to marry but if I did It would be with a woman with no kids or no intention of wanting kids.
     
  18. Swan7

    Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

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    He very well could be in another country, but if God were to give someone to you, would it matter how far away he is? I actually gave up on finding a man because my view is very limited. God's view however is like a bird's from Heaven and yet He is everywhere at the same time. God sees much more than we do and not the same way we do.
    I did ask God for someone, but then I told Him I was content with only Him in my life - and I believe that is key.
    Even though I am married, I am still content with God. It does not diminish the fact that I have been blessed by God, and I am truly grateful to Him for him everyday. :yellowheart:
     
  19. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    I'm on the fence about having kids myself. Mainly because I have doubts that I would be the kind of father they would need and deserve. I wish I didn't still struggle with that.
     
  20. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

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    I hope you two get together, it seems like you both got a lot in common
     
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