This kind of control is abusive. It likely comes from a place of deep fear and insecurity, but it is still abusive nonetheless. It is not acceptable, so imo, how to address it is through boundaries. Start with non-threatening situations like make a time when you can go to a ball game with a buddy, and let her know it will just be you and your buddy. While you are with your buddy, let him know what is going on in your marriage so someone else knows what is happening - for support, prayer, and also as a witness if need ever be.
When you spend time apart from her, don't tell her every detail of your outing. Casually mention that you had a good time, and that being apart from her was actually good for you because it gave you an opportunity to miss her and experience the reunion after being apart for a bit. This will reassure her insecurities and also let her know that you value her. After all, how can you ever really value being together unless you have experienced being apart?
As you spend more and more time away from her, you can gradually introduce scenarios where there might be women present, such as the mixed tennis groups. After all, that seems a relatively benign activity. It's not like you're off to the strip bar to pay for lap dances.
Another thing to consider in all this, though, is where this might be coming from. While it could be her insecurity, it could also be that she is guilty of whatever she accuses you of, and she is accusing you (projecting) to take the guilt off of her own shoulders. To dig deeper into this, you could suggest that you go for couples therapy - not because she has a problem, but because you feel like you need help to move beyond some difficult feelings (being smothered, but don't tell her that).
