Marriage decline blamed on lack of 'economically attractive' men

[bèlla]

If young men aren't interested in college, I encourage them to get a trade.

Young men and women are in dire need of wise counsel. You can’t expect a school employee to guide them. They are following a script and the world’s ways. They need to know God’s plan for them. Not man’s.

Oftentimes the easier route isn’t it. This is why prayer is a must. My daughter was headed for finance before the Lord intervened. Her purpose supports marriage and family in ways the other would not.

The bible says:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4

It is my consensus that following our purpose is the best way to have the happiness we want. Pursuing His counsel in our work, education, relationships, etc. may result in unexpected answers. But from my experience they far exceed the ideas I contemplated instead.

 

[keith99]

Did they get an allowence? Things were better than I imagined.

Well the food and clothes for the whole family came out of the allowance!

 

[com7fy8]

Women may be getting married to fewer men who are financially suitable for marriage, but women can be involved in immorality with the men who are not financially suitable.

 

[public hermit]

Young men and women are in dire need of wise counsel. You can’t expect a school employee to guide them. They are following a script and the world’s ways. They need to know God’s plan for them. Not man’s.

Oftentimes the easier route isn’t it. This is why prayer is a must. My daughter was headed for finance before the Lord intervened. Her purpose supports marriage and family in ways the other would not.

The bible says:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4

It is my consensus that following our purpose is the best way to have the happiness we want. Pursuing His counsel in our work, education, relationships, etc. may result in unexpected answers. But from my experience they far exceed the ideas I contemplated instead.

I completely agree. I worry about these young folks. Your daughter is fortunate (blessed) that she has access to wise, Godly counsel. I worry many don't.

What did I know when I was seventeen, eighteen years old? I thought I knew a lot. But, no. And, I did have some wise counsel available to me, I just didn't heed it. Nonetheless, I always had good work and that good work probably kept me out of some trouble.

I don't believe that addressing the economic aspect is the sole condition to be met. I do believe there are spiritual, social, mental, and emotional contributing factors. Like you, I would place the spiritual factor in the lead. First things first. Even so, without good work people get stir crazy, unpredictable, and their misery extends out into the lives of others.

 

[bèlla]

I completely agree. I worry about these young folks. Your daughter is fortunate (blessed) that she has access to wise, Godly counsel. I worry many don't.

Thank you. She still has a heart for the subject but the Lord called her to women and families. Now she couldn’t fathom doing anything different.

Even so, without good work people get stir crazy, unpredictable, and their misery extends out into the lives of others.

We were never meant to live out of fellowship. But His grace is plentiful and we’re led to our proper place. The divide is growing and is ever present. Navigating it is becoming increasingly difficult.

As believers we’re meant to consider the imperishable traits. And I’m wholly on board with that. I want my companion to feel valued and respected. I’m trying to discern what that entails where I am.

 

[public hermit]

I want my companion to feel valued and respected. I’m trying to discern what that entails where I am.

I pray you find a companion who values and respects you, as well. You strike me as a remarkable woman.

As for myself, I try to discern ways to keep all potential companions at bay. I won't presume that is God's will for me. But I am certainly at peace and able to freely fulfill my vocation. That means a lot to me, and I take it as guidance from Him. We'll see.

 

[bèlla]

I pray you find a companion who values and respects you, as well. You strike me as a remarkable woman.

Thank you Chadro. You’re a dear. ~hugs

As for myself, I try to discern ways to keep all potential companions at bay. I won't presume that is God's will for me. But I am certainly at peace and able to freely fulfill my vocation. That means a lot to me, and I take it as guidance from Him. We'll see.

That isn’t working for me! ~laughs

He disturbed my spirit. I like where I am but it isn’t permanent. May His will be done in our lives.

 

[Mark_CB]

There's a general lack of trustworthy people who are awesome enough to commit to living with for the rest of your life. Either male or female.

I also think collectively, we've forgotten what marriage is, in the age of Instagram especially. It's not a picnic.

Marriage really is a challenged institution, and to think your spouse can whip out Tindr or another dating app in a few seconds after an argument and start 'cheating' digitally at least is disheartening. Basically, in today's world especially, it's all to easy to destroy a marriage (no fault divorce laws, etc), and all too hard to build one that works well and is happy. Yet the all encompassing life wreckage from failure at a marriage is just as high as in past eras. Too much technology, too little moral grounding, too little trust, and not enough real love out there.

I think overall the decline in marriage is really, really bad for all Christians and people of other faiths. Even if you beat the odds, many of your brethren will not.

 

[Noxot]

These are my Reflections on my inceldom.

There is no reason to want someone that does not want you. so why be mad at woman that don't want you if you think that their actions and ways are bad? But even if they don't want me in a sexual way, it's still possible to have them in other ways. They don't have to be mine in order for me to enjoy them. And besides there is only one of me and therefore there should only be one of her ( my beloved).

 

[Noxot]

I quit my job two years ago. Something broke in me. But it felt good. I could pursue what I felt had meaning. I could do only what my spirit wanted to do. So now I realize more than ever that being a creature is a burden. God kept telling me that there are reasons for existing in a world like this. but he lets me not remember them even though I know that those reasons are good enough to justify this reality.

But I don't like all the things that creatures do, that are a burden to me. when I stopped trying to function by the rules that people make up, it will make me suffer. Or I will make some people suffer by whatever I want to do.

Why should I exist in a world with so many hostile people that I can't relate to? Why should I keep my body alive for the sake of keeping it alive and going on? I was told that we do the things we do not like so that we can do the things that we do like. but I don't get why I should keep doing things I hate so I can also do the things I love! I don't understand suffering, is it really such a great thing?

There are no real answers for me in this world as far as I can know.

 

[bèlla]

There's a general lack of trustworthy people who are awesome enough to commit to living with for the rest of your life. Either male or female.

You nailed it. The absence of trustworthy people hit home the other day. A question was posed about disclosing a negative event. Most of the respondents advised silence. I was struck by the willingness to deceive by individuals professing belief in God.

I said to myself, this is the caliber of person you’re dealing with. And I felt sick to my stomach. That isn’t the life I want. Nor do I wish to pledge myself to someone whose moral compass mirrors the world. But the truth is, there is little difference between the two. Seeing it up close was sobering.

Yet the all encompassing life wreckage from failure at a marriage is just as high as in past eras. Too much technology, too little moral grounding, too little trust, and not enough real love out there.

I agree.

I think overall the decline in marriage is really, really bad for all Christians and people of other faiths. Even if you beat the odds, many of your brethren will not.

There was a time when I felt it was possible to build a loving relationship that lasts. But I’m beginning to question that belief. Untrustworthy people can’t build honest unions. The structure breaks down at some point.

And if you can’t be real with yourself and God; you’ll never be real with others. I want someone who truly loves the Lord and is walking according to His precepts. Not lip speak.

I think our marital failures are a reflection of those issues. The closer we move to the world’s standards. The more frequently we receive its results.

No one is awesome. Only God is. I would like to think His children are somewhat close. Somewhat better than those who don’t know Him. But its getting harder to spot.

 

[spiritualchristian7]

I quit my job two years ago. Something broke in me. But it felt good. I could pursue what I felt had meaning. I could do only what my spirit wanted to do. So now I realize more than ever that being a creature is a burden. God kept telling me that there are reasons for existing in a world like this. but he lets me not remember them even though I know that those reasons are good enough to justify this reality.

But I don't like all the things that creatures do, that are a burden to me. when I stopped trying to function by the rules that people make up, it will make me suffer. Or I will make some people suffer by whatever I want to do.

Why should I exist in a world with so many hostile people that I can't relate to? Why should I keep my body alive for the sake of keeping it alive and going on? I was told that we do the things we do not like so that we can do the things that we do like. but I don't get why I should keep doing things I hate so I can also do the things I love! I don't understand suffering, is it really such a great thing?

There are no real answers for me in this world as far as I can know.

Same. I just want Jesus to take me home already.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Is the cost of living expensive where you are?

Oh yeah, very much so.
A friend of minee is discouraging a newly retired couple from moving here based on that fact. Apparently, what they make for retirement isn't enough to cover for what it costs to live here.

 

[bèlla]

Oh yeah, very much so.
A friend of minee is discouraging a newly retired couple from moving here based on that fact. Apparently, what they make for retirement isn't enough to cover for what it costs to live here.

Hopefully they’ll listen. That can be a costly mistake.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Hopefully they’ll listen. That can be a costly mistake.

Yeah...I mean, I don't know the specifics of their situation, but, worst case scenario, if they are only living off of social security, that'd be a bad idea.

 

[bèlla]

Yeah...I mean, I don't know the specifics of their situation, but, worst case scenario, if they are only living off of social security, that'd be a bad idea.

Have you considered moving?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Have you considered moving?

Nope. No need to. House is paid off. No rent.

 

[bèlla]

Nope. No need to. House is paid off. No rent.

Nice. I found 2 places on the east coast I really like. That’s where I’m leaning. I like the idea of warmth but the weather problems are too much to handle. ;-)

 

[Anguspure]

Pretty interesting article that's been going around...

Marriage decline blamed on lack of 'economically attractive' men

I don't know what might be regarded as 'economically attractive' in the US but as one who is among the top tier in the country I come from the problem is that 'economically attractive' is irrelevant.
A mediator I was speaking to recently stated the problem as one of economic gaurantee. In my country anybody, and particularly a woman with children is guaranteed a healthy income supplement. This means that if a person is not interested in marriage for purely relational reasons, there is absolutely no reason to begin a marriage (or for them to hang around in one that is a bit difficult, for that matter).

 

[timewerx]

I don't know what might be regarded as 'economically attractive' in the US but as one who is among the top tier in the country I come from the problem is that 'economically attractive' is irrelevant.
A mediator I was speaking to recently stated the problem as one of economic gaurantee. In my country anybody, and particularly a woman with children is guaranteed a healthy income supplement. This means that if a person is not interested in marriage for purely relational reasons, there is absolutely no reason to begin a marriage (or for them to hang around in one that is a bit difficult, for that matter).

That's true.

I've been to NZ before. It's true in that country, you don't have to hold a job to be financially stable, you only need to stay away from booze, drugs, and overeating to be financially stable, lol!

Generous government styphen, free health care, and cheap education.

Ironically, I did get a GF while in NZ, and a couple of dates.

Wouldn't been that successful with women in other countries! I'm broke and they don't care! I even have terrible social skills!

While in some parts of USA, I am like invisible man. I'm simple and fairly "laid back" in style. Not every place appreciates it.