Marriage decline blamed on lack of 'economically attractive' men

[bèlla]

I saw this yesterday. Very interesting stat. 80% of Veterinary School students are women.

 

[Rigatoni]

What if someone enjoys working fast food, and works their way up to manager later on - thus earning a decent salary. Or what if they work fast food, and have a hobby that supplements additional income. Would they be someone to consider marrying?

 

[VMaeLove]

I do not desire to be married. I am not against it and I do not have a desire for children right now. And I find i am diferent than most of my girl friends. And kids are very expensive.

It does make sense?

 

[VMaeLove]

What if someone enjoys working fast food, and works their way up to manager later on - thus earning a decent salary. Or what if they work fast food, and have a hobby that supplements additional income. Would they be someone to consider marrying?

There is exception in every thing
Most working fast food do not tho?

 

[Rigatoni]

There is exception in every thing
Most working fast food do not tho?

I'll admit, it would be a rare occurrence. This is just a hypothetical situation brought up to address the elephant in the room.

Sadly, I think marriage is in decline for various reasons, with pride being the main contributing factor in today's culture. Although at the same time, some just don't desire to be married. Overall though, I think society sets their expectations so high, and seeks something unrealistic rather than practical; a modern phenomena. Intimacy (and basically everything else that is reserved for marriage) is also readily available nowadays outside of it, so I'm sure many don't see the point. It's like everything is completely backwards. However, even something practical / realistic can be exciting, especially if God is in the midst of it.

 

[timewerx]

I mean career. No fear of future income. If you enjoy working fast food that is fine but it cannot easily suport family life which should be considered in christian marriage?

Interesting. I live in the poorer parts of Asia and I think our culture here is a little different.

Women are less discriminating of a man having a career or not. Being smart and hard working is often enough.

Many families here struggle financially but ironically, they seem content and happy. I can't believe it myself and I live among them!

Sadly, American men comes here to find a wife....They think our women are easy to please and they end up just fine even if the guy is only living on pension and living in a low-cost neigbhorhood in USA.

 

[VMaeLove]

I'll admit, it would be a rare occurrence. This is just a hypothetical situation brought up to address the elephant in the room.

Sadly, I think marriage is in decline for various reasons, with pride being the main contributing factor in today's culture. Although at the same time, some just don't desire to be married. Overall though, I think society sets their expectations so high, and seeks something unrealistic rather than practical; a modern phenomena. Intimacy (and basically everything else that is reserved for marriage) is also readily available nowadays outside of it, so I'm sure many don't see the point. It's like everything is completely backwards. However, even something practical / realistic can be exciting, especially if God is in the midst of it.

I am not sure it is such a negative tho.
I think it better to not get married then get married for a wrong Idea.
Like get married because first you had a kid. Or get married because you are lonely. Or get married because your family or church says. So on.

Kids tying themselves down before getting their life stable leads to unhappy marriage when people change or run out of money or realize they only married for kids.

Basically getting married before getting mature.

 

[timewerx]

I'll admit, it would be a rare occurrence. This is just a hypothetical situation brought up to address the elephant in the room.

Sadly, I think marriage is in decline for various reasons, with pride being the main contributing factor in today's culture. Although at the same time, some just don't desire to be married. Overall though, I think society sets their expectations so high, and seeks something unrealistic rather than practical; a modern phenomena. Intimacy (and basically everything else that is reserved for marriage) is also readily available nowadays outside of it, so I'm sure many don't see the point. It's like everything is completely backwards. However, even something practical / realistic can be exciting, especially if God is in the midst of it.

In my country, the trend is more observable.

A poor Asian country, but increasing Westernization of our culture is also driving our women to set higher standards in terms of financial capabilities/stability in a man.

Sometimes I think it's mostly because of the comfort/luxuries it may provide and less about financial security.

Like wasting money on yearly upgrades of gadgets and vehicles.....Personal overseas travel...

Before, everyone is content with little things but now, everyone wants to live like Middle class Americans.

A "need" that didn't exist before until seeing more of the things richer people do.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Rigatoni]

I am not sure it is such a negative tho.
I think it better to not get married then get married for a wrong Idea.
Like get married because first you had a kid. Or get married because you are lonely. Or get married because your family or church says. So on.

Kids tying themselves down before getting their life stable leads to unhappy marriage when people change or run out of money or realize they only married for kids.

Basically getting married before getting mature.

There's definitely nothing wrong with wanting stability, or especially wanting a partner who is mature. I very much agree, a couple should get married for the right reasons, planning for a long-term commitment. Although, life is not always stable. If a man loses his job, social status, etc., or if a couple no longer get to enjoy the luxuries they once had, he could also end up losing his wife in the process. Even though he himself didn't change. This scenario is what I see increasing in society today, and is what I mean with the unrealistic vs. practical argument. I think it's important to establish what practicality in marriage really is, and what expectations would be deemed unrealistic.

In my opinion, it's wise to focus on finding someone who we can ride the waves of life together with. If a couple marries primarily on the grounds of stability or luxury, sooner or later it will lead to divorce. I have family members who married poor, and they loved it. They faced the battles of life together, and loved each other in both the highs and the lows - in both having plenty financially and in the opposite. That's the type of marriage I'm seeking. I also think that's a good picture of what marriage should be.

 

[timewerx]

Furthermore, many where I live are marrying foreign women because they actually know how to be wives and mothers. I'm no stranger to interracial relationships/marriage but I find this to be very interesting that over in the Old World they have a stronger sense of a family unit than many over in North America. It's like we traded meaningful relationships for wealth and status.

I really hope they stop doing that, or I'll run out of women I could possibly marry one day!

Many foreign men come to my country to look for wife. Many of them were divorcees.

Not all were successful though. I have a cousin got married to someone from New Zealand. A lawyer. Rich guy. He brought her to New Zealand. But relatives of guy hated my cousin. Understandably, our culture is different. From a poor background, 3rd world country, we are considerably less sophisticated than a highly educated westerner.

My cousin almost left him. But they managed to fix the problem and now they're happy together. Some can have a rough beginning due to cultural differences. We don't know the "art of flattery", can be rought/unrefined, and some takes offense in that.

 

[timewerx]

In my opinion, it's wise to focus on finding someone who we can ride the waves of life together with.

I live in a poor country and that's how it goes here.

Some ends up really well if both works really hard at it, persevere, and not complain too much, lol!

 

[VMaeLove]

I guess where I grew up it is not so strange to focus on career first. That is the point of school any way. I was a little girl like 8 when I was being told to think about what my career will be.
So worrying if people you date can hold a job is not such a thing because they have career before you know them. Man and woman.

Beyond that yes bad thing can happen you never know and that is why is important to have some thing to fall back on. I have a uncle who lost his leg in a accident and did not keep his 30+ year job. He was compensated a little but his marriage and life was fine because my aunt had also a career to fall back on.

Money is not every thing but it is important. I think the bigger problem is marrying some one you do not actualy know. They are great when life is great but will they be when it fell apart?
I agree that it can be put on unreal expectation

 

[bèlla]

Fast food wages were never meant to support a family. The entry-level positions were once held by teens desiring their first job. Some worked through the ranks to positions in management. I’m uncertain if a degree is required.

When workers marched demanding $15 per hour wages, the ripple effect was bad. The company began overhauling its stores and created a self-service option. The once plentiful cashiers were reduced to three. They rolled this out in busy locations where I live to test the market. Its been very successful.

 

[bèlla]

I guess where I grew up it is not so strange to focus on career first. That is the point of school any way. I was a little girl like 8 when I was being told to think about what my career will be.

We were never told to marry young and I didn’t impress it on my daughter. I think its important to know who you are, reconcile issues from your upbringing, and determine the life you want to have before making serious commitments. What you’re seeking as a doe-eyed 20 year old will differ when you’re nearing 30. Experience and perspective brings clarity.

So worrying if people you date can hold a job is not such a thing because they have career before you know them. Man and woman.

I think stability is important and ideally they enjoy their work. If not, the opportunity for changes are significantly easier when you aren’t encumbered.

Beyond that yes bad thing can happen you never know and that is why is important to have some thing to fall back on.

Life happens. You weather the good times and bad as a unit. Forbearance is a trait you bring into the union. People who trade in their spouses when tragedy strikes were operating from a different moral compass from the start.

I think its unkind. But I think the blame falls on both. Few men are oblivious to their partner’s materialism and many of them are funding it. And if the bulk of your relationship is based on your provision rather than who you are as a person its absence will cause issues.

Oftentimes people make unwise choices on the premise things will never change. They’ll have a great job and so on. The other never changed. They were always shallow. But the consequences of their mindset have come home to roost.

I think the bigger problem is marrying some one you do not actualy know.

I agree and that is my dilemma. It takes a ling time to really know someone. That isn’t possible in a year or two.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

More than 7 million men between the ages of 25 and 54 — prime working age — have dropped out of the labor force. —The Week

"One in six prime-age guys has no job; it's kind of worse than it was in the depression in 1940," says Nicholas Eberstadt, an economic and demographic researcher at American Enterprise Institute who wrote the book Men Without Work: America's Invisible Crisis. He says these men aren't even counted among the jobless, because they aren't seeking work. —NPR

I’ve read several articles on this issue. Here’s a few:

Why Are 7 Million Men Missing from the Workforce? —The Art of Manliness, 2019

Millennial Men Leaving Perplexing Hole in Hot U.S. Job Market —Bloomberg, 2018

The U.S. Labor Force’s Guy Problem: Lots of Men Don’t Have a Job and aren’t Looking for One —L.A. Times, 2016

The Mystery of America's Missing Male Workers —The Week, 2016

Well that just proves how the economy isn't so great jobwise. Where I live, the average hourly rate is between 13 to 15 per hour. Aka "The working poor". There's an indy film out there demonstrating this called "The Florida Project". A lot of underpaid types.

 

[bèlla]

Well that just proves how the economy isn't so great jobwise. Where I live, the average hourly rate is between 13 to 15 per hour. Aka "The working poor". There's an indy film out there demonstrating this called "The Florida Project". A lot of underpaid types.

I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m trying to. Not only the financial side but also the mental and emotional things men are experiencing.

Its bigger than the economy. That’s simply where you’re seeing the fallout. But its happening in other areas too. His diminishment saddens me a great deal.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m trying to. Not only the financial side but also the mental and emotional things men are experiencing.

Its bigger than the economy. That’s simply where you’re seeing the fallout. But its happening in other areas too. His diminishment saddens me a great deal.

Oh, and the price of rent is going sky high, so that doesn't help matters.

 

[bèlla]

Oh, and the price of rent is going sky high, so that doesn't help matters.

Is the cost of living expensive where you are?

 

[public hermit]

If young men aren't interested in college, I encourage them to get a trade. In fact, I would suggest getting a skilled trade before getting a liberal arts degree. That's essentially what I did. It's good to have marketable skills to fall back on.

The local community college has a welding school and a power lineman school. One could make a good living at either trade.

If a man has his own welding rig, and steady work, he'll find a nice wife.